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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you drive 7 hours in day for a family meet up?

161 replies

Imsunburntandfedup · 24/07/2022 23:11

Every year my DM arranges a family meet up at a beach in Cornwall where we all get together - it is a lovely beach and rare for everyone to be together at the same time. Everyone else lives locally so it takes between 10mins and 45 mins for them to get there. We are further afield so it is about 3 1/2hrs there and back (including a quick stop at Costa or somewhere similar on route) so 7 hrs driving in all. We have 2 DC so they need a break really.

After a particularly grueling journey yesterday, 2 very tearful kids at various points and finding I have gone bright red from being on the beach too long - I'm beginning to question if I can bear to keep doing this each year. What would you do?

As aside the DC generally do have a good time at the gathering and like seeing my family, but we often have tears/stress. We can't afford to stay overnight and no-one has space to put us up so that's not an option.

OP posts:
Blurp · 24/07/2022 23:56

Ask for Premier Inn vouchers for Christmas maybe?

Or as others have said, split yourselves over a few houses and get airbeds (even under a table or something would work for a night).

Or does anyone have a friend who's on holiday and would let you stay in their house while they're away, in exchange for a bit of electric money and making the house look occupied/watering plants/feeding pets?

womaninatightspot · 24/07/2022 23:59

Tent in a garden if no one can squeeze you in. I wouldn't drive 7 hours for a day though.

Original poster
Imsunburntandfedup · 24/07/2022 23:59

We did do a hotel stay the night before one year (premier Inn) that cost us over £100 + dinner etc. So maybe we will just have to try and save for next year. Sadly DC hardly slept as all in one room and were all exhausted the next day 🤣. Maybe we needed to tire them out more and get saving.

OP posts:
womaninatightspot · 25/07/2022 00:01

Imsunburntandfedup · 24/07/2022 23:59

We did do a hotel stay the night before one year (premier Inn) that cost us over £100 + dinner etc. So maybe we will just have to try and save for next year. Sadly DC hardly slept as all in one room and were all exhausted the next day 🤣. Maybe we needed to tire them out more and get saving.

Can't believe you went all that way and no one offered to feed you dinner...

Original poster
Imsunburntandfedup · 25/07/2022 00:02

@madasawethen though as you say is a bit galling that we are doing all the travel/paying etc. Though I guess it's us who chose to move away.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 25/07/2022 00:04

I would look into a premier Inn or similar. They really are quite reasonable, so with a year to plan and save it is probably doable.

ClearestBlue · 25/07/2022 00:07

Nope. No way.

Life is too short to fit a journey when you’re not being welcomed at the other end.

Bigchezemakeme · 25/07/2022 00:09

Premier Inns usually about £50 for a family room. Don’t go out for dinner, you’re in Cornwall do a picnic on the beach

nokidshere · 25/07/2022 00:10

Absolutely not! How many of your family are meeting up? I can't believe that between them they couldn't find somewhere for you to sleep, or, at the very least, make you dinner.

I've got 5 sisters, all married with children. When we meet up at mums 3 bed semi we sleep in the conservatory, on the sofas, on the floor or, if you bagsy it first, the spare room. We all chip in and make food with the adults round the table and the children on the floor.

8DPWoah · 25/07/2022 00:13

See what happens when you put it to them that you might not be able to go next year, maybe someone will magically find and offer up some sleeping space (maybe one of them has a tent they could put up for you so you don't have to buy all the kit)?

If nobody is forthcoming then I think I would call it a day on that one.

HeddaGarbled · 25/07/2022 00:15

This isn’t a normal way for families to behave. Most people who have moved a long way away from family, visit for weekends or even longer, not meeting half way or lengthy day trips. They won’t put you up, they won’t give you dinner. Are you being punished for moving away?

antelopevalley · 25/07/2022 00:17

I would do this, or stay the night somewhere?

IcakethereforeIam · 25/07/2022 00:18

If you collect reward points with tesco or sainsburys nectar points, can they be used to pay for a hotel or even a caravan?

I'm struggling to understand why someone in your family can't find one night's floor space.

JePréfèreLesChiens · 25/07/2022 00:22

I wouldn’t do it if it it caused so much stress and the kids to be miserable. If they expect you to do this without offering you to stay over with them, they’re cheeky fuckers.

D0lphine · 25/07/2022 00:25

You can afford 7 hours worth of petrol but not a family room at a B and B?

Nonsense OP. Stop being a martyr and get a room in a cheapo B and B or hostel.

BungleandGeorge · 25/07/2022 00:25

Yes I have and would on an infrequent basis, I know many people
who regularly have to drive 5/6 hours for work or visiting family. If you have 2 adults who can drive its obviously easier. I’d be tempted to not stop on both journeys if possible though as it will be adding quite a lot to your travel time. Do none of your family have a spare room? Your parents? I’d probably ask the household with the most space directly rather than a general ask.

PinkPair · 25/07/2022 00:30

If you ask around you'll probably find a colleague' or friend can lend you a tent to put up in someone's garden. We've borrowed camping stuff before

larkstar · 25/07/2022 00:33

I'd travel any distance to see my daughters.

I think what you should do if you can - timewise/moneywise - is try and make the trip into something that you will enjoy - arrange to stay one night on the way down at a campsite, AirBnB or whatever - make it into something that you would choose to do even if you weren't seeing your DM. Maybe a stop on the way down and one on the way back - really make it into something special for yourselves.

caringcarer · 25/07/2022 00:39

We travel 3 hours to see mil. Sometimes traffic is bad and it is longer as she lives by coast so blockades of slow moving caravans on single track road for about 50 miles. Not fun but she puts us up and cooks us meals. I would not do 7 hours all in one day for the Queen. Travel ind can be as cheap as £29 if booked far in advance.

Ginseng1 · 25/07/2022 00:41

Not normal family behaviour not one putting you up or inviting you to dinner after traveling all that way to see them. I wouldn't be bothered.

converseandjeans · 25/07/2022 00:42

YHA have lots of hostels in Cornwall. I would stay Friday & Saturday.

I think if you moved away it's up to you to travel.

I do think your Mum could host you or at least offer dinner if you're paying for hotel.

Boredhavemercy · 25/07/2022 00:43

May I ask what day of the week you’re going as I’ve just booked a family room in Exeter for £30 on a Sunday in a couple of weeks for 2 kids and 2 adults.

Earlymenopausesucks · 25/07/2022 00:48

We would definitely squash everyone in for a weekend once a year. Air mattresses and pasta for dinner is hardly a strain occasionally.

SirVixofVixHall · 25/07/2022 00:53

I would ask your Mum again, surely could sleep on her sitting room floor on air beds for one night ? I remember some very squashed situations in relatives houses when I was small, we loved it.

HerRoyalNotness · 25/07/2022 00:59

I’d ask again to stay as thats a really big day, I’d be crying too! My family would squeeze us in no matter what.

otherwise a tent in someone’s garden. One nights camping in good weather is ok, and you’d have the bathroom and kitchen in the house. Or a premier inn type place closer, maybe one within an hours drive of the meet could be affordable