AIBU about wedding buffet.

[HappyDays40]

Long story short my sister gets married soon, all on a shoe string but has advised she has decided that people need to buy their own post- wedding meal from the pub after. It is up to her but my mum said that she will help her out with food costs. I have told her that will agree to a buffet rather than a sit down meal our parents and I will pay the cost as a wedding present ( we can't afford to pay for sit down meals for 30 people).

She has spat her dummy out and said she wanted a sit down meal. I told her she needs to be a bit more grateful. I had a three course sit down dinner at my wedding and she thinks I should pay for something similar (with our parents contributing too). The things is we both earn a similar amount I paid for all my wedding costs and had no additional money from parents. I saved and paid, she thinks I'm being mean with my money.
I'm partly feeling like telling her to piss of altogether but know that our parents will pay the full costs. Please tell your stories of unbelievable ungrateful bridezillas!

Just to clarify are you asking who is unreasonable in this situation or about other stories?

I would tell her to piss off and not be so ungrateful.

Your sister sounds like very hard work. Awful to expect people to buy their own meals at her wedding. How is she planning to explain that on the invitations?

Why are you involving yourself in your sisters wedding plans at all? It's none of your business.

This is ridiculous that your sisters expecting you to foot the bill for a sit down meal for 30 people for her wedding. I’d tell her that she can’t have the buffet now. How ungrateful

What a spoiled attitude! If she wants a sit down meal she can damn well pay for it. I’m sure most guests coming would rather have a buffet provided than have to fork out the money themselves on a sit down meal.

You can’t be bridezilla on a shoestring!

After the wedding go to Macdonalds and meet them at the pub afterwards.

Make sure you ask the other guests if they want anything picking up too.

Please tell your stories of unbelievable ungrateful bridezillas!

Why? Will funny stories about other people's entitled relatives make yours better? And where is her HTB in all this? What's he saying?

It's your sister's wedding and you have no responsibility to pay towards it in any way. Tell her to jog on. If she can't afford a sit down meal, then tough shit.

My cousin as on limited funds so we all got one meal from the pub menu, pre-ordered in advance. Paid by them, we bought own drinks. Say £12 each?

So that's a compromise in cost over-a buffet. (Though no reason why you should pay)

Why are you involving yourself in your sisters wedding plans at all? It's none of your business.

FGS she's offered the pay for the buffet. So yes she's involved.

Literally the point. Why offer to pay for anything? Sister doesn't want a buffet, OP needs to butt out and let sister plan and pay for her own wedding

That's fine, if she doesn't want to accept your offer, withdraw it and,et her sort her own stuff out.

Sister doesn't want a buffet, OP needs to butt out and let sister plan and pay for her own wedding

Sister doesn't want to. She either wants everyone to pay for their own meal or OP / parents to pay for what she wants, not what is being offered as a wedding present.

She has said what she wants
You and your mother dont agree and have tried to change the plans

She didnt spit her dummy out. Her wedding her choice
Dont hijack it.

Then everyone can pay for their own meal.

Op and her mother have informed the sister that she can't do it her way, she must do it their way, and she is ungrateful if she doesn't. Like I said, OP and her mother should butt out. Sister can have her wedding how she likes, including asking guests to pay for their meals. IT's up to guests if they want to.

How dare OP try to control it?

We paid for our own meals at my BIL’s wedding (restaurant after registry office). I didn’t realise that was a problem?

@Petrolordiesel it’s fine to want stuff, doesn’t mean she gets it. Sister appears to have champagne tastes and a lemonade budget. That’s not OP problem; sister either accepts buffet that is being offered or saves up / defers / culls the wedding list. Sister is being a grabby brat and personally l would bd inclined to pay morning towards it

I actually thought the sister’s suggestion of guests paying for their own meal was a good one. I don’t know why the OP got involved.

It's one of those things that if you judge the couple have been frugal and put on a simple wedding then it's okay for guests to pay for a simple meal. (Abs usually they say in lieu of gifts)

But if she is wearing an expensive dress and they hired a band for later, then asking guests to pay for meal is pretty rude.

I git involved because our mum feels incredibly responsible ( I don't know why) and she is annoyed because we offered to pay for a buffet and not for a sit down meal. I'd hardly say that it is hijacking her wedding by offering to try to do something for her. I just feel that if someone is offering to do something as a wedding present you don't then start to upscale the present then start telling the provider of the present that they could afford more!
I can't believe her brass neck and wanted to have a giggle at experiences of others.......solidarity in numbers and all that.

Your sister had a solution. You and your mum didn’t need to get involved. It’s ok for your sister to want a sit down meal and to ask her guests in advance of coming to pay. I’ve done that at a few weddings. Your sister doesn’t have to want a buffet because that’s what you want to pay for.

You can’t dictate what type of meal/food your sister has at her wedding. You’ve had your own wedding you can’t get in on hers.

@WillMcAvoy at what point did I say she couldn't do it her way? Not quite sure where you read that🤔

I have been to a wedding where the guests went to Bella Italia for the meal afterwards, and were told in advance that that they would have to pay for themselves. B&G provided a wedding cake, and a champagne toast. It was lovely. Everyone knew in advance what to expect, and everyone there was happy to pay their share.
I think, OP, you have made a lovely offer to pay for a buffet. If that isn't good enough, let them get on with it themselves. And don't give in when the tales of how little money they have start!