For thinking SAHMs are making themselves financially vulnerable

[PeasOff]

Would or do you depend on your partner financially?

Do you have a backup in place in case of breakup or for your retirement?

@worriedatthistime one child not children.

Where have I put down SAHMs or blamed them for anything?

FYI - I was a SAHM for 4 years so I did make that choice, am I okay to express my opinion now?! 😂

Some SAHPs are indeed vulnerable, like some WOHPs are vulnerable.

Some SAHPs have an excellent set up, both financially and in their relationship.

I'm a SAHM. I hated working, absolutely hated it. DH hated working too, until he retrained after we were married (so I supported him financially through those 3 years of study) and found a job he loves. When we had children I enjoyed being at home and we decided that I wouldn't go back to work at the end of my mat leave. And then we decided to home educate, which I do now for my three children.

We are financially comfortable, I have a pension and we put in extra to DH's pension. If I had to go back to work I'd find it easily, given my skills. (And I'm doing a little bit now, actually, as of mid-July). I don't consider myself to be in a vulnerable position.

I think there is a small group on MN that just troll about SAHMs. I'm sure this same thread was happening last time as was on AIBU. And that was just the other day.

Msybe it's the same person starting all the threads? All I can think of is that they must be eaten up with jealousy and bitterness. Even if they can't admit it to themselves. All this is just too much otherwise. It's beyond ridiculous, They NEED to be able to believe SAHMs are financially vulnerable in order to feel better about the fact they have to work. Sorry to put it bluntly, but that's clearly what's going on here with all these threads.

@Topgub

Because I want to be in my child's life 100% when she is little. That's why

Even if you work full time you might struggle financially when you spilt.

@malika3 I'm afraid you are incorrect this time round. I'm new to MN as of today... came from shitty BC.

I wasn't financially vulnerable either as I had savings to rely on whilst I took a career break.

I'm a Sahm and would never have changed the time I have had with my children. Suppose you never know what's round the corner.

Most SAHP are covered, and have carefully considered all angles and should remain relaxed during the endless threads - they are intelligent and they have considered all options and are not remotely ‘vulnerable’ .

The threads are helpful to anyone that hasn’t considered a serious plan for the worst case, and even. It is 0.00009% it’s still helpful

I have noticed over the years it gets worse in the summer holidays

@Festoonlights the stats on women in poverty and how much SAHPs struggle to get back into the work after a long break would suggest you are wrong!

@canyoutoleratethis

You dont consider your oH to be 100% in his child's life?

@PeasOff one child or two still technically has an impact on others and you put down by implying being sahp ( not always a mum ) are part of issue by impacting others
So you stayed home for 4 years and are now criticising others
Yes its a risk sometimes ( nit in all cases ) but having a child is a risk as well , if people want to take that risk thats up to them and many safeguard as much as they can all the risks

@Topgub your just being obtuse you know full well what the poster means
I wanted to be there when mine were little so was its as simple as that , my dh would of like to of been more as well but by me being home he did get to have more quality time when they were little too by default as we weren't both coming home doing chores , dinner etc
I consider myself lucky i had this choice some can't and I fully accept some don't want too , being at home 24/7 isn't for everyone
But many sahm do enjoy it and Are aware of risks , but we take risks all the time life

@worriedatthistime I don't deny being a SAHM contributed towards inequality when looking at the bigger picture - even if was financially independent.

Where have I criticised people in my comments?

@TartanGirl1 we can't live out life on stats and some of those wouldn't change even if they worked , if your in a min wage job working doesn't always pay with 2 kids in childcare
Some studies say having a parent home is beneficial others say different we cannot live our lifes based on stats

@worriedatthistime

I'm not being obtuse

Although it's interesting that se sahms are whining about the imaginary comments shaming them and putting them down but whizz right on by @canyoutoleratethis comments about putting kids in childcare being horrific

@worriedatthistime what if your OH wanted to be the SAHP and you to work - would you have accepted that and made do with quality time when it was available to you outside of your working hours?

@PeasOff it doesn't contribute to inequality though does it
If women were forced to work that would not be ideal either ,
Read your own posts

@Topgub I'm still waiting for multiple responses pointing out where I've shamed or blamed SAHMs!

But you said most SAHPs are covered is is factually incorrect.

@Topgub

My DH is a loving, devoted and committed father who is 100% involved in our daughter's life. But no, by virtue of him being in the office 40 odd hours a week, of course he is not physically capable of being 100% in her life. That is a fact. Do we like this fact, no. Do we think it is fair, no. Do we wish it was different, yes. But we don't have the option to split and both be part timers, so I am the SAHP. I maintain that this is by far the better option for her than me also going out to work and sticking her in childcare - at least she has one of us with her all the time

@PeasOff yes if that had been financially possible but it simply wasn't
A few years later when i returned to work dh became self employed so he could be there for school pick ups and some running around so he took a drop in income , which I covered by doing more hours
So yes basically we are a team and we have done what is best for us and our family

@worriedatthistime

Of course it does

98% of sahp are women.

Most part time workers are women.

The gender pay gap doesn't exist pre kids

Most ceos are men

Men out earn women.

childcare and women and notes providing it is to blame for these things

@worriedatthistime of course it does! Perhaps have a Google and see how it does.

No need. I type them so don't need to read back. I take that as 'I am unable to give you an example as you haven't done that; my apologies!'.

@TartanGirl1 where did I say most are covered ? You have no idea if that sahm would be financially better off working or. Not though once childcare is taken into account

@canyoutoleratethis

So you're ok with not being in your child's life 100% when they go to school ?