to think English weddings are frequently sh*t?

[CraggyIslandTouristBoard]

...and in particular the timing of the so-called wedding 'breakfast' (a term which should in any event should only be used for a morning meal).

Wedding I recently went to:

• All guests staying in same hotel, breakfast (actual breakfast) at 8:30am


• Wedding starts 11am


• Canapes at 1pm EXCEPT we only got served 1 single canape. That was it. And we were on the lookout for them, and moved to stand near the kitchen when we saw they were being served but hadn't reached us. (Quite a lot of alcohol though but really not much fun drinking it because we're starting to get effing hungry.)


• Wedding 'breakfast' scheduled for 4pm, starters actually not served until 4:20ish, main course after 5pm by which point we're beyond hangry/fainting with hunger.


• 8pm cake, followed by evening buffet. Which only gets picked at because we ate lunch so late.


• We ate breakfast in hotel (actual breakfast) 8:30am


• Wedding was 11am for an 11:30 start, though didn't actually start until 12:20ish


• Canapes served about 2pm. On that occasion we got offered a total of 3 canapes. Seeing friends of bride and groom we've not seen for a while, conversation invariably goes (us) "Long time no see - how are you?" (other guests) "Pretty hungry actually!"


• "Breakfast" Lunch officially 4pm but everything seemingly running late, we were on the very last table to be served and got starter about 5pm and main just before 6pm. Dessert 7:30pm


• Pizza from 9pm, plus wedding cake. FFS we only finished dinner an hour and a half ago!!!!

At another wedding I remember something similar happening and people heading to the nearby pub to stock up on crisps to keep them going.

What is with this ridiculous tradition of serving a meal so late in the day with guests having effectively nothing to eat in the meantime?! These were relatively lavish weddings, I don't expect to be fed constantly/repeatedly/anything particularly fancy and would be quite happy with a decent meal at lunchtime and then just some cake (or a cheeseboard or pizza or an evening buffet if the wedding couple is so inclined). The weddings must have cost at fortune and yet at each of them it was clear people were just too hungry for most of the afternoon to really enjoy it.

How does anyone think this is a good idea?!

If you've organised a wedding with similar timing yourself, why?! Just why?!

Thank god we didn't have the kids with us, but in future if we do take them to a wedding I think I'm going to have to bring a picnic for them (and us).

(By way of background I am English myself, and had an evening wedding with a mountain of canapes followed by a full 4 course dinner straight after).

I agree OP - food timings at weddings can be weird and annoying. It seems crazy that humans have basically established a plan of breakfast/ lunch / dinner because y’know it works. And then we completely throw this out the window on an important and expensive day where food is central!

This is partly why we had our wedding ceremony at 3.30 followed by canapés, then dinner (I refuse to call it a wedding breakfast!) from 5.30, and then cake and some more food available 9-10 ish. So the timings worked for people to have a sandwich or whatever beforehand.

I think we also included the timings of the food on the invites, as it’s so annoying knowing a massive meal is going to be served, but not knowing if this is going to be at 4pm or 8pm or somewhere in between.

Most people in the UK eat breakfast lunch and dinner, so it’s never going to be ideal to have no food at lunchtime, a big meal at 4pm and more Food at 9.30pm. Probably best to adapt the schedule to somewhere near normal eating times

Why didn’t you just stop on the one hour drive and get a sandwich to eat in the car?

I don’t really understand the lack of personal responsibility folks have. It’s like they get invited to a wedding so deem they can’t possibly feed themselves that day

I think people should send out a schedule of the day so guests know when there will be food

I'm not sure that's necessary, I'd think it a bit odd to get that. (Although I do like a heads up if there's going to be a hog roast as I don't want to see it)

Civilised people explain the programme for the day ahead, so guests know what's expected. Eat breakfast. First drink not before the vows are completed.

I think weddings have got too long personally. I much prefer either a 11-12 ceremony followed immediately by lunch and everyone heading home between 4-5 or a 4-5 ceremony followed by dinner and dancing and everyone heading home between 10-11. However I am aware many people want the full days so I pack plenty of cereal bars in my bag.

I don’t really understand the lack of personal responsibility folks have. It’s like they get invited to a wedding so deem they can’t possibly feed themselves that day

That seems to be the rule doesn't it? You are free to come and go and wedding venues as far as I know.

I think people should send out a schedule of the day so guests know when there will be food

We did that, along with a map of the venue so that everybody knew where everything was.

I know right? We went to a wedding about three years ago, we had to drive to the venue from the registry office, we could do the math, based on drinks, photos etc, so knew dinner wouldn’t be till later, so we stopped at a filling station, bought a sandwich, ate it, and were then were not relying on canapés to fill us up or fainting from hunger waiting for dinner. Cos we are grown ups.

You can easily pop out. Or even buy some bloody crisps at the bar and go eat them someplace. It’s hardly rocket science.

Actually I think some sort of a plan for the day if yours is long or unusual timing is a good idea. Of course people are free to leave or stop for food but they’re not going to if they’re anticipating spoiling the meal provided or being missing in photos etc. Generally there’s an order of service but not always and sometimes aren’t enough to go round

Some guests are entitled chancers who literally want a running buffet and free bar at a wedding and will not countenance spending a single penny. If they’re hungry they expect a paid for snack, a top up of all drink paid for by bride & groom. And god forbid if there is not a free bar

@Beercrispsandnuts with hindsight we should have but had no idea what was planned for the day and just didn't expect to go to an 11am wedding and not be fed til 9pm. Dinner was meant to have been a lot earlier but the venue were obviously having issues. There was a bit of a medical emergency when an elderly woman with diabetes almost fainted - staff then brought her a snack. Anyway, lesson learnt!

Interesting read this thread! From the weddings I have been to the ceremony which have been great (free bar completely or at least until the evening and just a lovely day celebrating loved ones and seeing friends/family) is about 1 or 2pm ceremony with canapés and free flowing drinks straight. Then dinner and speeches about 1hr/90 mins after so that’s finished for early evening, photos not taking more than an hour but everyone involved for some part of the photos. Then cake and first dance at 7pm-ish? Love band and then DJ and food at around 9 either hog roast or pizza. Then dancing until you’re ready to go. Luckily the 3 weddings we went to last year had perfect weather for the season (one summer, one autumn and one Christmas) so maybe that helped as well.

I’m not married but maybe one day…what are the perfect timings for a great wedding then? I’d like to think no-one spends that amount of money to get it wrong or for their guests to have a shit day.

@XingMing

i expect the b&m have enough on without having to send a food itinerary round everyone

Then people will complain if there are huge periods of waiting with nothing to eat or drink. 🤷‍♀️

They can complain, or they could channel their energy into getting some food themselves if they are near to collapse.

@Blossomtoes

most people are complaining about a couple of hours. Hardly huge periods

It’s normally considered quite rude to provide your own food when people are supposed to be hosting you.

Maybe don't eat it in front of the Bride and Groom if you are worried about it. I don't see the problem.

Surely part of hosting an event is to ensure your guests are happy and well fed and watered?

Depends. What you think is a perfectly normal gap between food might be too long for the 'hangry' people judging by this thread who need a snack every 20 minutes or something.

I want to go to a wedding now to check all of this out. Not got one til next year

I do think everyone eats too much now. Stop moaning and enjoy the day fatties.

If I haven't gained two pounds and a stonking hangover at a wedding, the ceremony wasn't legally valid.