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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to put cat down?

113 replies

babybooo · 24/07/2022 13:38

My cat is 16 and up until this last month has been in perfect health, only saw the vet for a UTI this year that's all. She has a grade 2 heart murmur which is medicated.

Over the last month she's become more frail and slowed right down. To be expected with her age I suppose. She can still walk around, go up and down stairs, jump on the bed etc. I would say she's just slow at going from sitting to lying down.

Last week she became super lethargic and went off her food. Took her to emergency vet who ran full blood screen which came back fine, very good in fact! They gave her fluids and said to monitor her. She went to the normal vet the next day who said she had muscle wastage in her hind legs to be expected with age. Gave her appetite increasing meds.

Over the last week cat has barely ate. she will take a mouthful of warmed cat food or tuna but that's about it. No interest in food.

Took her to vet yesterday who gave a steroid injection to hopefully get her eating again. She also gave fluids. She said there is nothing "wrong" with the cat but she is probably nearing the end of her life. She isn't in any pain or distress.

She has eaten tiny bits since the injection yesterday. She has also started drinking which is good. She was very dehydrated yesterday.

I am due to fly to America on Tuesday for 2 weeks but I have decided not to go because I am scared cat will die while I'm there.

She isn't in any pain or distress, other than not eating I would say she's her normal self, maybe a bit more sleepy than usual.

AIBU to give her a chance? Or should I have her put to sleep?

Vet has us booked in for 9 Aug which was meant to be after my holiday. She said if the cat starts to eat that would keep her going.

She has lost a significant amount of weight over the last couple of months - she's losing weight even between vet visits and is very very skinny.

This cat has been by my side for 16 years and in need to be by hers and do right by her.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 24/07/2022 13:44

Oh bless, it’s horrible. I’m sorry. In your shoes I’d give her today and overnight- if she’s not significantly eating and drinking more I’d speak to the vet again. Did they mention putting her to sleep? Usually a vet days that when they really think it’s time. It’s really tough, but it’s always better to do it earlier, before the animal is in any pain, than hang on until it is.

SarahSissions · 24/07/2022 15:43

They say better a day too early, rather than a day too late. Plan it in so you can be there and cuddle them at the end. Its so difficult, but do it in the best way for them xx

Jellycatspyjamas · 24/07/2022 15:47

Oh how awful, I’d give her overnight and tomorrow too and see how she’s doing. If the vet thinks it may be time it probably is - they tend to be honest about such things. Always better too early than too late.

FangsForTheMemory · 24/07/2022 15:52

I'm so sorry. Your cat sounds as though she's failing, and it's her time.

Soubriquet · 24/07/2022 15:53

I would. Whilst she still has some quality of life. If you wait until she’s really infirm and in pain, you will never forgive yourself

RockCrushesLizard · 24/07/2022 15:54

I've had to make this decision very recently - I'm sorry for you, it's never easy.
But I would say that with the cat before this one, we did bloods, meds, all sorts of things to give him a chance, and I regret it bitterly. His quality of life was low, and I prolonged it because I wanted to feel like I had done everything. In hindsight, it was the wrong choice.
With this Dcat, he had stopped eating, his muscles were wasting, mobility going, just as you describe. I decided not to treat aggressively, as he wasn't enjoying his life, and he was PTS on Friday. I feel so much better about that decision than I did when I waited.
Hugs to you.

Kanaloa · 24/07/2022 15:54

It sounds like it’s the end really. Cats are great pretenders too - if it’s this clear then it’s obvious it’s something serious. Personally I would plan to say goodbye sooner rather than later and let your old friend have a dignified and painless end to her long & happy life.

Playplayaway · 24/07/2022 15:54

I'm so sorry 💐. Is it easy to cancel your holiday? She sounds not too bad at the moment apart from the weight loss, but cats can deteriorate very quickly and it does sound as if it might not be long. Sending you and your beautiful cat lots of love xx

nokitchen · 24/07/2022 15:58

Its time. You are a great owner and now is the time to do the last kindness for your cat.

Bunty55 · 24/07/2022 15:59

She has reached the end of her life and it will only get worse by degree from now on.
Regardless of your holiday you have to do what is best for your cat so she is not miserable. You can do this for her and you should imho

Gobbolinothekitchencat · 24/07/2022 15:59

So sorry for you, am a cat owner myself. Ask the vet, they will be honest as generally a vet won’t want to pts unless necessary. It is so hard, as an owner, to make that decision for your pet. 💐

JohnsShirt · 24/07/2022 15:59

Gosh, that's terribly difficult but I think it's probably time.
She's had a lovely life, but is now rapidly going downhill, she doesn't need to go any further.
I had to have one of mine PTS, he hid his illness well and wasn't in pain, but he was incredibly ill, so I chose to let him go before he suffered.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. X

calmlakes · 24/07/2022 16:00

It is so hard.
I had to make this decision for dcat last year at 17.
Not really ill but losing weight steadily and very frail.
At the time I wondered if I went too soon but truthfully I know I didn't.
Still miss him a year later.
Hugs for you.

Hhd1 · 24/07/2022 16:01

Personally Op I would let her go before she does get really Ill. It sounds like she is on the decline now. I don’t know if you have been through a pet being put to sleep before and I get that’s it’s very painful for you but from my experience with my dog, it wasn’t painful for her as I was there with her and holding her. It was actually a very peaceful experience for her. I left it a couple of weeks too long to be honest which was selfish and I regret that.

compromisedrambaldifluid · 24/07/2022 16:06

I wouldn’t want to leave her either. It’s a very hard decision to make. I agree with rather a day too soon than a day too late but it’s so hard. When my last cat was PTS I think I’d waited a couple of days too long. Sounds very similar to your cat, she was just wasting away and they couldn’t find a reason. Similar age too. It’s horrible for you but the kindest thing you can do for her. I’m really sorry.

gelatogina · 24/07/2022 16:08

I’m so sorry about your cat, I had to make this decision a few weeks ago and it’s so hard.

however if your frail, elderly cat isn’t eating or drinking, it’s time. My vet said a very important thing to me when I was trying to decide - “right now they are struggling, not suffering. But if you wait longer, they will move past struggling and start to suffer”

OhmygodDont · 24/07/2022 16:10

Honestly cats hide pain and sickness so well if she is showing this much of a down hill I’d let her go before she’s worse. Better a day to soon than a day too late.

Cherrysoup · 24/07/2022 16:12

Mine was the same at the end, weightloss, not eating. I should have put him to sleep earlier than I did but I adored him so kept him going too long. It’s not fair on the animal.

Longlostfamilial · 24/07/2022 16:19

Another call for really considering put to sleep I’m afraid. Natural deaths aren’t always as peaceful as we would like, euthanasia is. And you can be sure to be there for her. If she is recurrently stopping eating and drinking this could push her into organ failure which might not be a very nice way to go. And hopefully she doesn’t have a chance to go outdoors as cats often want to wander off to die on their own which is horrible for owners to have to find them. 😿

Unforgettablefire · 24/07/2022 16:21

I don't know how many times I've been through this and every time you feel like you've had your insides ripped out.
Your little cat must be feeling rough, even if she's not feeling ill she's going to feel rough from dehydration and no food.
I have no useful advice but you've obviously been good to her, she's got to a good old age and you've taken her in when she's needed help, so all I can advise is follow your gut instinct and don't have any regrets if you let her go.
You have my sympathy I'm sorry you're going through this 💐

FurAndFeathers · 24/07/2022 16:21

@babybooo
what is the benefit (to your cat) of keeping her alive? Her pleasures/enjoyable experiences are minimal - no jumping, hunting, eating or playing. She’s also showing classic signs of chronic osteoarthritis pain - muscle wastage, reduced mobility and reduced appetite. wsava.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/AAFP-How-do-I-know-if-my-cat-is-in-pain.pdf

Atthe age if16 it’s vanishingly unlikely that she does not have joint pathology. chronic pain is debilitating and depressing.

you can choose not to put her to sleep and she’ll continue with this experience until she wastes away, or you can give her a dignified and humane death.

ReviewingTheSituation · 24/07/2022 16:24

I would let her go now. The end is near, and it sounds like you're just prolonging it.

I was in a very similar situation a few years ago - we knew the end would come within a couple of weeks, and had a weekend away coming up. After a long chat with a vet friend, her advice - mainly from the POV of what was best for the cat, but also what was right for us - was to give her a peaceful and stress-free send off before we went.
Yes, she MAY have lasted another few days, or maybe a week, but her life had been lived. The adage about 'better a week too early than a day too late' is so true.

We had a lovely last day with her. She pottered around the garden and ate all the things she wasn't usually allowed, and then sat on our laps purring. And then we let her go calmly and with dignity. The weekend away was tinged with sadness, but there was a sense of release in knowing we'd done the right thing by her.

I would go on your trip, and say your farewells before you go.

BotterMon · 24/07/2022 16:26

Far better a day too early than a day too late. It's time to do what's right for her.

Thatnameistaken · 24/07/2022 16:27

Our cat is a similar age, I'd rather she is pts in a controlled manner before she has to be put through endless tests and procedures or the situation becomes a crisis and she starts to suffer. I want her last experience of life to be a calm and pain/stress free one.
I'm sorry that you're having to face this, it's awful

Maybeebebe · 24/07/2022 16:29

We are a massive cat family, and I agree totally with letting her go.

She's had a lovely life with you, you obviously care so much. You will question whether you were too erl or too late for ever if you let yourself, but know this, you're making the right decision