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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to put cat down?

113 replies

babybooo · 24/07/2022 13:38

My cat is 16 and up until this last month has been in perfect health, only saw the vet for a UTI this year that's all. She has a grade 2 heart murmur which is medicated.

Over the last month she's become more frail and slowed right down. To be expected with her age I suppose. She can still walk around, go up and down stairs, jump on the bed etc. I would say she's just slow at going from sitting to lying down.

Last week she became super lethargic and went off her food. Took her to emergency vet who ran full blood screen which came back fine, very good in fact! They gave her fluids and said to monitor her. She went to the normal vet the next day who said she had muscle wastage in her hind legs to be expected with age. Gave her appetite increasing meds.

Over the last week cat has barely ate. she will take a mouthful of warmed cat food or tuna but that's about it. No interest in food.

Took her to vet yesterday who gave a steroid injection to hopefully get her eating again. She also gave fluids. She said there is nothing "wrong" with the cat but she is probably nearing the end of her life. She isn't in any pain or distress.

She has eaten tiny bits since the injection yesterday. She has also started drinking which is good. She was very dehydrated yesterday.

I am due to fly to America on Tuesday for 2 weeks but I have decided not to go because I am scared cat will die while I'm there.

She isn't in any pain or distress, other than not eating I would say she's her normal self, maybe a bit more sleepy than usual.

AIBU to give her a chance? Or should I have her put to sleep?

Vet has us booked in for 9 Aug which was meant to be after my holiday. She said if the cat starts to eat that would keep her going.

She has lost a significant amount of weight over the last couple of months - she's losing weight even between vet visits and is very very skinny.

This cat has been by my side for 16 years and in need to be by hers and do right by her.

OP posts:
FurAndFeathers · 25/07/2022 12:52

AchatAVendre · 25/07/2022 00:02

I inherited an elderly farm cat with a house which seemed on her last legs. That was 7 years ago. She died this spring. She went through 2 phases where she seemed to be fading away, got thinner and seemed a bit frail and recovered both times. She had the happiest death you could expect the third time she faded - she loved being stroked and would purr away and then one day she disappeared (as cats tend to do) and never came back. Too wild to be stressed by being taken to the vets.

I'm not too keen on the pts brigade, elderly pets do go through good and bad phases and if still mobile and able to enjoy some quality of life, I can't see the point in rushing them to the vets to pts unless its a particularly morbid condition. The idea about changing her diet to softer food is a good idea but its likely the heat is getting to her at the moment.

Yes why give pain relief and a humane death when you can just leave them to die of neglect and dehydration….

babybooo · 25/07/2022 12:54

I'm just waiting now for the vets to call me, she's having bloods done but the vet suspects it could be cancer. She's anemic too and a bit dehydrated so it looks like she might be PTS. Really sad, can't cope with this

OP posts:
ChinBristles · 25/07/2022 13:13

Aww, sorry to hear this. But you CAN be strong and get her through this.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 25/07/2022 13:19

I've had 10 cats over the years with a variety of health problems and I'd say hang fire for now. She might just not be feeling well or have a transient virus just as we feel unwell and don't eat sometimes.
She might well pick up again.
One of mine used to get a head cold once and year and would just lie there not eating for a week and then he'd be fine.
My oldest cat who was 21 used to do this too now and then. Go off her food and then she's recover again.
Good luck.

AchatAVendre · 25/07/2022 14:37

FurAndFeathers · 25/07/2022 12:52

Yes why give pain relief and a humane death when you can just leave them to die of neglect and dehydration….

Thats really offensive. Do you even know what farm cats are? That cat had literally never been off the farm, to capture her and stick her in a cage to take her to the vets would have been beyond cruel. Equally, she wouldn't have let a stranger catch her to give her an injection, she literally only let me stroke her and even then she was nervous, and getting her to eat any tablets was extremely difficult.

I loved that cat and still miss her today and your remarks have really upset me. I "inherited" those cats with the house and fed them properly and didn't have the chance to get them more used to human contact as they were at an advanced age by then. At no point were they "neglected" and as for "dehydration", well, thats quite the imagination you've got there. I suspect the cat died of heart failure i.e. old age, at least thats what the vet said, because I did phone the vet to ask for advice...

Do you realise that animals die in the wild all the time naturally and it doesn't mean that those deaths aren't "humane?" Abandoning your pet to a stranger in a sterile room isn't nearly as humane as you think it is.

AffIt · 25/07/2022 14:44

I have just had to have our elderly cat put to sleep and I am KICKING myself for not having done it earlier, TBH - I had it all planned out that I would have a vet booked to come to the house and do it, after a lovely 'final day' together, but I got talked into doing things otherwise.

We were away at the weekend and our cat sitter phoned to say he had rapidly declined - we then travelled back for four hours, ended up at the emergency vet surgery at midnight, it was all horrible when it could have been lovely.

I'd say do it now, while your lovely girl still has quality of life and she can go quietly and peacefully, with dignity.

compromisedrambaldifluid · 25/07/2022 14:50

Just keep remembering you're doing the best thing for her even if it's bloody awful for you. Hope you're doing OK, OP. 😔

Honeyroar · 25/07/2022 15:04

Sending a hug. It’s such a hard thing to do. Just make a big fuss of her.

Toddlerteaplease · 25/07/2022 15:35

I would also let her go now. Sounds like it's time.

babybooo · 25/07/2022 17:59

Thank you everyone. The bloods were not good - liver levels raised and indication of jaundice. Vet said likely cancer or could be triaditis but she was presenting more like cancer. Also anaemic. Not far off needing a blood transfusion.

He gave me the option of giving her fluids and medication to get her strong enough to have a general anesthetic (he said he wouldn't do a general now as she'd die due to her condition) so they can put a feeding tube in, then scan her for triaditis. If it is triaditis her chances are 50/50 of survival but it would be a long recovery (1-2 months) and likely a feeding tube for a month. Lots of medications. At least a few days in the vet travelling back and forth to the emergency vet (26 miles away) as they have night cover. If after all the scans and feeding tube etc it didn't show triaditis, he would suspect cancer which means she would need to be PTS as her recovery chances at 16 are slim.

I decided it was kindest to let her go, the vet said he agreed with this as her chances of recovery (from whatever it is) are slim.

I am beyond heartbroken, she stared at me while I fussed her and I wonder if she was begging me to save her.

I wonder if I made the right decision and I'm beating myself up over it.

What swayed me is her not being able to come home for a few days - not knowing if she'd survive.

OP posts:
mrsfoof · 25/07/2022 18:10

@babybooo What a difficult decision for you but it sounds very much like the right one. I'm sure in her last moments her eyes were thanking you for giving her a wonderful, long life and yet being brave enough to let her go peacefully.

BerylBird · 25/07/2022 18:12

Has anyone checked the cat's teeth? A sore mouth is very often the cause of not eating.

BerylBird · 25/07/2022 18:13

Oh sorry I just saw that you had put her to sleep 💐
RIP little one

BerthaBetty · 25/07/2022 18:20

Such a hard time, I really feel for you.

I think we cling on to the fact they tend to rally, as in we see that eating and drinking is them doing ok but they are stoic and it's mostly not the case.

BerthaBetty · 25/07/2022 18:21

Sorry. Best wishes to you OP.

ChinBristles · 25/07/2022 18:23

Oh that was a really clear decision then, OP. There's no way you could have put her through any of that. You couldn't "save" her because it was her time.

Thank you for giving her such a lovely life and such a kind and peaceful ending.

Hugs OP.

Scianel · 25/07/2022 18:25

OP you did save her. I'm so sorry for your loss, but you put her first x

Burnt0utMum · 25/07/2022 18:40

So sorry for your loss. You did right by her to not let her suffer. I think the look she gave you was one of thanks for all you've done for her over the years right up to her very last moments. You're an incredible pet owner. Take care and be kind to yourself 💐

Pashazade · 25/07/2022 18:40

So sorry OP, but it was the right decision. Had similar earlier this year for my old girl and she was still hauling herself around but not eating and would have just starved. I knew I couldn't put her through the trauma of further medical interventions. (She had a brain tumour). You made the right call as awful as it feels, you did right by her.

nokitchen · 25/07/2022 18:44

You have done the kindest thing. X

CactusBlossom · 25/07/2022 18:49

You will know when the time has come. Your cat will look at you in a certain way, and you will just know. It's quality of life that's important, not life at any cost (and I don't mean financial). Don't let her be in pain, keep her comfortable. Be with her when the time comes.

Americano75 · 25/07/2022 18:49

Oh, I'm so sorry. You absolutely did the right thing for her, you put her first.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 25/07/2022 18:56

So sorry about your cat.

I was reading the earlier posts thinking it sounded a lot like the symptoms my beautiful girl that I lost last year. That was cancer.

I felt awful afterwords, but you just have to keep telling yourself you did the right thing.

ReviewingTheSituation · 25/07/2022 18:57

The saddest thing, but the kindest thing to do. The right thing 100%.

16 years of lovely kitty memories is a lot. Enjoy talking about your lovely cat and remembering all the joy they brought you.

Playplayaway · 25/07/2022 19:02

Oh I'm so sorry, op. Such a difficult and heartbreaking decision to have to make but you absolutely did the right thing for your darling cat 💐 xx