To think this was not funny and be upset

[Flutterbybudget]

I go out with a friend most weeks, and she’s a real sweetheart - when she’s sober. When she’s drunk, she’s really funny. We have a good laugh. We’re both single, and we both flirt a bit, and sometimes she makes slightly inappropriate remarks, but always in the context of the conversation. But this week, in my mind she overstepped the mark.
We were talking to a group of young lads, we know one of them, and out of the blue, she tells them that I have an STI because I will sleep with anyone. (Neither true). She thinks I’m over reacting because I said that I was embarrassed and that I don’t feel I want to go out drinking again for a bit. She says that they knew she was joking, but I only know one of them and they know my kids.
So, am I over reacting, or is that just “not a joke”?

No
That's not funny.

Not funny

true or not that’s not something you’d say about a friend unless you want to undermine/embarrass them

Wether or not it was intended as a joke ( a not funny one imo) as soon as friend knew she had upset you she should have apologized

Sounds like a shitty, sexist joke to make that she thought would make a bunch of younger lads laugh, a bit of a “pick me” vibe. I don’t blame you for distancing yourself op.

Not funny. Really horrible thing to say. Agree it smacks of showing off, very immature.

This is not funny at all.She was trying to make you look small.I would not want to be going out with her again either!

No, not funny. But it does sound as if your friendship is heavily reliant on getting pissed, which is almost inevitably going to lead to this sort of stupidity sooner or later.

What a bitch. Dump her. Or do it back to her and see how she likes it.

I agree. Quite nasty imo.

Sounds like a shitty, sexist joke to make

agree it's a bad joke but it's hardly sexist

That's not a joke. Ask her why she didn't say "I have an STI because I'll sleep with anyone"? Why did you have to be the butt of her non-joke? It was shitty behaviour on her part, and even shittier is not apologising the instant she knew she'd upset you.

There is no way I'd be her drinking buddy again.

l’d be a lot busier a lot more often.

What a weirdo

So not funny
I would avoid her for a long time over that remark

Awful joke, and you knew one of them? Argh, id find it hard to forget about that

Eh? How old is this woman? Sounds like something a 14 year old would shout out when put with their mates in a big group. Weirdo.

I had a 'friend' who did something similar on a night out. She basically implied I'm a slag to a guy I was chatting to. It was part of a pattern of this weird jealous, competitive and controlling behaviour on her part. I ended the friendship eventually and haven't looked back.

She was trying to make herself look funny at your expense. It's a shitty thing to do.

It’s sexist because only women are slut shamed, not men.

I think it's possible she was drunk and showing off and just got carried away with herself and said something she thought was fun. The whole thing with a joke/banter versus bullying though is whether or not the person on the end of it thinks it's funny - and you didn't. So what she should have been doing when you brought it up was to apologise not say you're over reacting.

If this is normally a good friendship then I would have a break for a little bit, hopefully she'll say sorry and then forgive her and move on. If it's a pattern of behaviour then maybe it's time to rethink the friendship.

Thanks all
I’m used to questioning myself over whether I’m overreacting/ making too much of something, but I’m so upset by this one

(we are both in our 50s, for the reply that asked how old she is)
We don’t “just” go out drinking, but we do enjoy a drink once a week, when I don’t have my daughter, Otherwise, we go for coffee, walk etc. She’s a really lovely person, but this absolutely blindsided me.

She HAS apologised, but in a “sorry you were upset, but you’re overreacting, it was just a joke” kind of way.

In your 50s? She told a bunch of lads you had an STI? She’s just made herself look silly. She doesn’t sound like a nice friend, very insecure.
And that’s no apology either.
If she’d been mortified and blamed the drink I might have been more understanding.
She’s using you to make herself seem cool. I would think twice about another night out,

Thing is that she’s lovely!
I know that it was the drink talking, but she can’t understand why I am hurt, and I can’t understand why she can’t see why 🤷‍♀️
It feels as if we are talking a completely different language