To think this was not funny and be upset

[Flutterbybudget]

I go out with a friend most weeks, and she’s a real sweetheart - when she’s sober. When she’s drunk, she’s really funny. We have a good laugh. We’re both single, and we both flirt a bit, and sometimes she makes slightly inappropriate remarks, but always in the context of the conversation. But this week, in my mind she overstepped the mark.
We were talking to a group of young lads, we know one of them, and out of the blue, she tells them that I have an STI because I will sleep with anyone. (Neither true). She thinks I’m over reacting because I said that I was embarrassed and that I don’t feel I want to go out drinking again for a bit. She says that they knew she was joking, but I only know one of them and they know my kids.
So, am I over reacting, or is that just “not a joke”?

Humour is subjective and when someone is on the receiving end it's up to them as to whether it's amusing or not.

It's possible to find humour in most situations, STDs being no exception. Once at work someone remarked to my boss that he'd lost weight, I immediately piped up with "Haven't you heard, he's got AIDS" which cracked my boss up. The point being, he was the target, he found it funny, therefore it was. I wouldn't have made the joke about someone who I didn't know well enough, to or an audience I didn't know well enough, that I couldn't be certain how they'd react.

So no YANBU to be upset.

It's possible to find humour in most situations, STDs being no exception. Once at work someone remarked to my boss that he'd lost weight, I immediately piped up with "Haven't you heard, he's got AIDS" which cracked my boss up. The point being, he was the target, he found it funny, therefore it was. I wouldn't have made the joke about someone who I didn't know well enough, to or an audience I didn't know well enough, that I couldn't be certain how they'd react

This and good to see we are on the same page, humour is all about the audience and knowing them.

Omg, have just seen how old she is. I thought she was about 20. I would curl up with embarrassment if a friend said a comment like that to people my kids’ age!

Apologies, I’m not sure how to tag/ reply to specific comments, but will do my best

DrinkFeckarseBrick (love the name btw)
Basically, we’d just met up with this group of lace (mid 20’s), not seen Bill for a while so asked how his new job was going, that kind of thing. He introduced us to his friends, who know my kids. Talked for approx 5 minutes, when out of the blue she comes out with “she’s got chlamydia because she’ll sleep with anyone”
Boys jaws drop open, MY mouth drops open, they give nervous giggles while staring at me
I say “way over the line there”
she laughs and says “she’s (me) riddled with STIs”
more staring and be nervous laughs
i say “seriously, that’s not funny”
she laughs again and says “it’s just a joke” shrugs, laughs
lads look confused

To ME, if I’d been in their shoes, it would have sounded like she’d said something that she shouldn’t have, but which was true, rather than something that she just made up, (because who the f makes up something like that, and everyone “knows” that people speak the truth when they’re drunk 🤷‍♀️) but maybe that’s just me

Seriously though, I’m SO embarrassed about it. I left soon after. I don’t know what the lads made of it, or whether they said anything to anyone else or not. I don’t want to go anywhere in public atm tbh. I’m mortified.
But what REALLY upset me is the complete inability to see WHY I would be upset about it. “It was just a joke” “they knew I was only joking” is all I got from her, after she’d sobered up.
the drunk “joke” I could get past, eventually anyway, but I’m really struggling with the sober attitude tbh.

I'd say in fairness they did think it was a joke but it's just bizarre. Look, having dealt with serious life changing illness this year I've learnt to not sweat things. It's done, move on because it can't be changed. They will forget about it in time but life's too short to torture yourself over it. I'd again address this with friend and just outline how it wasn't funny or appropriate but it's up to you if you want to keep the friendship going. We all screw up sometimes.

Surfbox

I would happily keep the friendship going, but it seems that she doesn’t want to 😞
When I said that I was upset, she blocked me on everything 🤷‍♀️
hey ho

who knows what the future will bring
I know that she thought she was being funny, I just wanted to know whether I was actually being unreasonable to be upset by what she’d said