People on benefits - how do you cope?

[TheGreatBobinsky]

I'm making plans to leave my relationship with my 2 children, I've used an online calculator to find out what I'd be entitled too and provided I could still work some hours at work I'd be getting around £2,400 a month total (including my earnings). Rent in my area is £1,300 on average for a 2 bed flat, I've added up council tax, water, gas, electric, Internet, subscriptions for Netflix/Disney (we don't watch normal TV so no TV licence) and food and it looks like I'd have around £400 spare a month for clothes, school uniform, emergencies, childcare, travel etc. But am I missing something obvious here? (I can't drive so that's not an issue?). I have no idea how I'm going to manage, embarrassing as it is I haven't been the one to deal with the majority of the bills etc. So I'm a bit clueless about certain bills. What about furniture and kitchen things, and everything we will need in a new home? That's if I even get accepted into a flat, I know a hell of a lot of landlords just point blank refuse to rent to someone on benefits. I'm terrified, and feel sick, but if I stay here it won't be good for any of us as things are escalating rapidly and he's very good at manipulating me, I feel like I'm going crazy I have to leave but how does anyone cope?

I'm sorry you're in this situation OP. It is scary. I work 37 hours a week in a minimum wage job. Take home pay is about 1200 and my UC top up is around 300. Honestly? We cope by having nothing extra other than necessities. I've already started saving for DDs next lot of school uniform/PE kit/shoes in September as she's outgrown all she has, but she's still got away with wearing them until term ended. After her wrap around care and one extra curriculum activity, I'm left with nothing. Christ knows what we'll do in winter, eat more pasta and grated cheese probably! It is what it is.

We're up North so obviously things are cheaper, but, you should be able to manage fine with some cut backs on 400 pcm disposable.

@lastminutedotcom22 This situation you mentioned tends to happen when people have mortgages and then end up on benefits for whatever reason - because if you are renting and claiming the system is designed to make it that you are better off in work- although I admit it's not always that much and if you factor in other costs such as getting to work I agree it can feel a bit pointless if it's low paid. !! I'm afraid if it happens and you have a mortgage you are pretty stuffed these days unless you have insurance against it because it simply doesn't get covered off at all for 9 months. What also isn't factored in is debt-- so when people are low paid and have both mortgages and debt it can indeed look as if people doing bugger all and renting are better off than working in a lower paid job.

You say you have added up this, that & the other, how long into the future have you taken your sums into? You can add another boatload onto all of it for next yr, but good luck.

Just in case all the people crying 'it's not fair!' have forgotten this is a thread about a woman who is trying to leave an abusive relationship.
Fingers crossed she will be entitled to enough money that enables her to get herself and her children out of that situation.

OP please ignore those post and focus on the ones giving you advice about contacting your council, CAB and woman's aid when it's safe for you to do so.

It might not be easy but you can do this. Good luck

That’s one of the most heartless posts I’ve seen on here. And that says a lot.

There’s very little that worth more investing in, imo, than helping people. Those escaping abuse are high on the “should be helped” list imo.

I don't know if the benefits the OP has calculated are correct, but I know that if all the benefits going to single mothers were stopped tomorrow, there's no way this government would put that money towards 'investing in infrastructure'.

I'm pretty sure the OP hadn't factored in she is unlikely to get that level of support on the housing element of UC, unless she rents in central London- and won't actually get a flat for that in central London -unless it's social housing.

No one is talking about £46,000 here. This is pure fantasy! More like £15k plus a partial contribution towards rent.

And who decides what it would be spent on? Not the government?

😂Okay mate, someone's projecting

😂😂😂

@Nukepossumsprings you have a degree in psychology? I hope you don’t practice it!

Reported .

Do you know your children's father salary? I would report him now tbh if your planning to leave soon.

Call Citizen advice bureau and they will do a benefits calculation. I think you should register for a council house. Those private rent prices are crazy.

It's comments like 'just work more' and 'just get a new/better job' when I don't have childcare

Without meaning to be goady, it sounds like you've fallen into the trap of assuming there is no scenario where you can possibly afford childcare, and trying to plan a career around not having to pay for any.

In reality, you will be much better off, long term especially, if you try to work and earn more and use paid childcare. By not restricting yourself in terms of hours, location etc, you open up far more jobs that will pay much better, such that you are still better off even after paying childcare. This is then sets you up to be in a much better position financially when both children are in school and your childcare needs reduce.

Have you phoned the police and asked for him to be removed OP

If you are moving (and its not possible to get him kicked out) do you have removal money/able to book a van?

My advice is dont get a UC advance to pay for furniture or white goods, source them through freecycle or other similar sites. If you get an advance you'll be paying it back and have even less to live on, get free things where you can.

You might need to try for a 1 bed but often agencies wont let a property where it will be instantly overcrowded

Im also worried for you that they might want a working guarantor, do you have one? Do you have a rent deposit?

I can't have him removed by the police because he hasn't actually hit me. He comes across and reasonable and caring and makes it seem like I'm the one with the problem, because my mental health is bad and he's just trying to help.

If I move I lose my family support that's support for childcare, mental health, and any practical help I might need. I don't have friends, I don't make friends easily I never have done, I will be completley on my own with severe depression and anxiety, no money, 2 small children who will rely on me and no qualifications. The most likely result of that scenario will be I lose my children and there will no point of even trying to live anymore. This was obviously not the right place to ask for advice because it does seem like a lot of people just don't think you should ask for help no matter what situation you find yourself in. I really don't see how putting myself in that situation is better than staying where I have support, being able to work towards an undergraduate degree and find a better job and eventually get off the benefits.

Op join universal credit survival group on Facebook. They will give you an accurate calculation of how much uc you will get and tell you how to work out your deduction after earnings.

You will be exempt from the benefit cap if you earn over a certain amount. They will advise you of this too although it is probably available on Google somewhere.

You can do it. It is possible. I'd rather live in a hovel than live with an abusive prick. You deserve happiness.

We survive on partners wages and UC and maintenance from my older kids dad. Please feel free to message me if you need advice on lowering your living costs.

Don't be disheartened. You will never ever get majority nice replies on here if you claim any benefits. I've posted before asking for help on how to afford life and got flamed because a lot of people here don't live in the real world and this was destined to turn nasty. My old post did have lots of helpful advice on reducing living costs but also lots of posts asking why I wasn't working a 40 hour week with 4 kids and why did I have my kids etc etc.

Keep your chin up ❤️