People on benefits - how do you cope?

[TheGreatBobinsky]

I'm making plans to leave my relationship with my 2 children, I've used an online calculator to find out what I'd be entitled too and provided I could still work some hours at work I'd be getting around £2,400 a month total (including my earnings). Rent in my area is £1,300 on average for a 2 bed flat, I've added up council tax, water, gas, electric, Internet, subscriptions for Netflix/Disney (we don't watch normal TV so no TV licence) and food and it looks like I'd have around £400 spare a month for clothes, school uniform, emergencies, childcare, travel etc. But am I missing something obvious here? (I can't drive so that's not an issue?). I have no idea how I'm going to manage, embarrassing as it is I haven't been the one to deal with the majority of the bills etc. So I'm a bit clueless about certain bills. What about furniture and kitchen things, and everything we will need in a new home? That's if I even get accepted into a flat, I know a hell of a lot of landlords just point blank refuse to rent to someone on benefits. I'm terrified, and feel sick, but if I stay here it won't be good for any of us as things are escalating rapidly and he's very good at manipulating me, I feel like I'm going crazy I have to leave but how does anyone cope?

Look at the website universal credit essentials for advice on how to calculate your UC accurately 🙂

I had £50 a week to feed, clothe, petrol money & anything else we needed for me & ds after I had paid all my bills & rent when I was first on benefits as a single parent. Some weeks I had to choose which bill I wasn't paying so I could manage. It got better, I'm still a single parent on benefits 12 years later.

@stillherenow does it matter??
how is it fair that someone working part time takes home more than a full time worker because of benefit top ups🤷🏻‍♀️

Work allowance of £344 (what you can earn before any deductions are made for income) - only for those with children or limited capability for work.
After that deductions of 55p for every £1 you earn.

Sorry if I’m being slow but won’t your 3yo be entitled to 30 free hours at nursery soon? Can you pick up more hours at work then?

Oh I’m sorry I missed your post about the 30 free hours.

If anyone not entitled to benefits thinks anyone on benefits is better off than they are, do yourself a favour and stop working your decently salaried job, and get yourself on some benefits!

You'll be living like a Prince in no time. Ffs.

How dense do you have to be to think like this.

We've recently started earning enough to come off uc. We are earning more now. I don't resent those on less getting a helping hand.

Similar outlook here.

There are always exceptions to the rule, but in general, wages go up and benefits go down.

Claim whatever you can, when you can, because that is what they are there for, but I would urge anyone doing that to have a 'next step' plan.

Absolutely this. If you think being on benefits is living the high life then quit your job.
It seems the people who complain the loudest about people on benefits tend to blame the people claiming them rather than the system.

When I was relying solely on benefits I had no broadband, no contract phone, no subscriptions.

I made a list of urgent furniture and nice to have furniture. The urgent furniture I was able to buy with some savings (you might be able to source them from community groups online) the others I had to buy as I went along.

Urgent
Beds
Chest of drawers
Fridge freezer,
oven or microwave (or a microwave with the hobs on top)
Towels
Crockery
Cutlery
Saucepans

Nice to have
Sofa
TV
TV stand
Carpets - I put flooring down in the bedrooms to start with and everywhere else had those foam letter mats until I could afford proper flooring everywhere.

We used the library for books until I sorted the tv out.

It takes time but its not the end of the world, those were some tricky years but I put myself through the OU since then and had £20k of renovations done last year which is not something I thought I'd ever be able to do back when I was counting pennies.

Good luck and brighter days will come soon.

I'm currently on benefits. I'm actually on maternity leave (staff nurse) however I started my new job too late to qualify for maternity pay so am now claiming universal credit whilst on maternity leave. Once my rent and council tax is paid, I'm left with around £1300 a month to pay bills, buy clothes, food etc. I'm actually comfortable enough.

You might need to be a bit more frugal if you're used to living off more money. But it really isn't too much of a struggle so try not to worry. Write out a budget, it's sometimes easier to see it in a spreadsheet in front of you. Definitely put in a CMS claim, if he pays he pays if he doesn't he doesn't but it's worth a shot.

My only comment OP is I'm not sure you would pass referencing for a flat at that rate with that income, especially as it looks like a fair bit of that income is benefits- not fair I know and ridiculous but so many rental agencies work on 'computer says no' type income multiples. The common one is your 'earned ' income has to be 3 times your annual rent

@TheGreatBobinsky
Mumsnet isn’t the best place for benefits advice. You get a lot of incorrect information. Book yourself an appointment with Citizen’s Advice and they will guide you through without judgement.

You will manage because you have to- and the fact that you’re working already is great.
You will be entitled to free school meals for both children beyond year 2 while you’re on UC (some LAs do a run-on even after you’re no longer on benefits) you can apply for Pupil Premium via your local council- this means that your school may help with things like the cost of school trips, you may also get a little extra in the school holidays- this varies by area.

As awful as it sounds, you can use food banks if you have to. You can tell the school if you’re struggling with school uniform costs- many have pre-loved uniform sales- if not maybe organise one?! Loads of people are struggling right now, lots who work full time. These are tough times, no shame in needing support.

And remember, when people choose to judge it says nothing about you and everything about them.

Yes I'm worried about even finding a flat to live in because most won't rent to benefits claimants, but there are no council/housing association properties available. I have no idea where we will go. My mental health is extremley bad and I don't know how I'll cope in a hostel with 2 children, I've seen the videos of women and children crammed into a tiny room for years and I don't want to do that to my children. There really isn't any way out of this relationship is there.

There is, don't give up hope. Speak to Women's Aid. Don’t stay - your mental health will suffer more. There's a way

Those of you making comments about the benefits system need to take a good hard long look at yourself in the mirror. The OP has mental health needs, is about to become a single parent of young children and has disclosed she’s in a difficult home situation. Save your snide comments, this isn’t the time.

@TheGreatBobinsky you sound like you’re making sensible plans and I don’t have an additional advice except to encourage you to speak to Womens Aid and the CAB. They’ll be able to support you and advise.

I'm sorry OP I don't think those calculations are correct. For example income support element was mentioned along with child tax...they wont apply surely?

If you leave it's just UC and a new claim so you'll have to wait longer ( you can get an advance though).

OP you will cope. My ex-h walked out on me, cutting off all financial support and sacking me from our business. I was, at the time, a parent to a 2.5 year old who was going through assessment for autism. I was shoved straight onto benefits and it was a huge shock, I'd always been a good earner and financially independent until son was born and trusted that my husband of 15 years would be there. That was a mistake. I had literally no choice in this at the time and took every bit of help that was available. I had a child who was high needs and things like childcare were not an option.

I have managed, I am still a parent/carer although I will be returning to the workplace in September after years of caring responsibilities. I have just had to be very organised and careful and it's been ok.

You do not have to stay in a relationship that is dangerous for you. I'd contact Women's Aid and would also consider contacting your local council as they do have housing officers trained in dealing with DV situations who will be able to advise. It is worth asking, you have nothing to lose. As I said in a previous post, make an appointment with the CAB for a full benefits check so you know exactly where you are with it all. You can do this, for yourself and your children. I wish you a safe and happy future

By the way OP, my comment about £1300 private rents and income levels. Don't want you to think I don't think you should split- I do!! As others have said though you must get a load of advice from the right places . We rent and are highish earners and still have to jump through hoops on satisfying computers when it comes to private renting and I think it's better to be forwarned and prepared.

Sorry I didn't make myself very clear. The universal credit is one payment - that includes the personal element, child element, housing element that used to be working tax/child tax/housing benefit. The total universal credit would be £1560 (roughly)
Then there is child benefit that I already receive that's about £180 a month
Then the single person council tax reduction of about £40 a month (which I wouldn't receive in my bank, just taken off my bill)
Then there is my earnings which if I have to reduce my hours will be about £658 a month and £172.70 would be taken off me. So my total income would be:
£2,225.

As others have said I have miscalculated certain bills and I think what a lot of posters are missing is the fact that my rent will be around £1,300pm. There are no 2 properties less than £1,100 within 3 miles of where I am currently, there are no 1 bed properties under £950 so even if I slept in the living room and my children had the bedroom it still wouldn't be all that much cheaper if I was even accepted to rent. Moving out of the area isn't really feasible right now, I need family support and childcare. I was also hoping to begin an online course at some point but that would be heavily reliant on whether I could get a loan and whether my family could support me.

i would add contents insurance to your costs and up your gas& electricity amount.
Can you spend ahead from joint monies/his money now/ next couple of months to help you in the short term? I’m thinking next size up uniform and winter coats? Shoes and trainers? Anything that won’t arouse suspicions but will save you money when you leave?

Sounds like way too much. They don't give you big handouts if you're working. You need to speak to a real person. If you're working full-time I don't see why you'd be entitled to much at all. There's a reason people do not choose a life on benefits.

Adding contents insurance and my personal insurance policy that I forgot about, and adjusted my calculations it looks like I will have £15 left over at the end of the month for travel, clothes, anything my children will need. It's all well and good saying no Internet but when the vast majority of school homework is done online, you need to sign in to the uc thing every couple of weeks (I think), I rely on online shopping because I can't get the shopping home because I don't drive and there's not much public transport near me, and I won't be able to afford it, and I want to do an online course so that I can eventually get off the benefits that's not really something that can be dropped. I could drop all TV subscriptions but then my children will suffer, I won't be able to give them the essentials they need let alone birthday or Christmas presents. I've failed them as a mother.

I can't see anyone actually helping me, women's aid and the council will be busy dealing with women in far worse situations than I am and even so there arent any council houses. There arent any housing association homes. There are stories everywhere about how nobody can afford to live and everything's getting worse. I can't see any way out of my situation. My mum was supposed to be helping me work this out but she's changed her mind and has just told me to tell him to leave - but he won't!

I'm not working full time because I can't. I don't have childcare to work full time, and my work can't give me full time hours. I'm not choosing to live on benefits I'm choosing to get myself and my children out of a bad situation. I have two children and can only work part time at the moment I'm on minimum wage - if you read my calculations I can literally just about afford to survive. That's hardly asking for a big handout I just want to survive!

OP, without being proactive and seeking advice from all the resources suggested on here, you're not going to know what your actual situation is. You need to actually contact these people rather than dismissing the suggestions. If you or your children are at risk of harm, you can apply for an occupation order on your current home which will force him out. Again, you need to take advice from appropriate agencies.