People on benefits - how do you cope?

[TheGreatBobinsky]

I'm making plans to leave my relationship with my 2 children, I've used an online calculator to find out what I'd be entitled too and provided I could still work some hours at work I'd be getting around £2,400 a month total (including my earnings). Rent in my area is £1,300 on average for a 2 bed flat, I've added up council tax, water, gas, electric, Internet, subscriptions for Netflix/Disney (we don't watch normal TV so no TV licence) and food and it looks like I'd have around £400 spare a month for clothes, school uniform, emergencies, childcare, travel etc. But am I missing something obvious here? (I can't drive so that's not an issue?). I have no idea how I'm going to manage, embarrassing as it is I haven't been the one to deal with the majority of the bills etc. So I'm a bit clueless about certain bills. What about furniture and kitchen things, and everything we will need in a new home? That's if I even get accepted into a flat, I know a hell of a lot of landlords just point blank refuse to rent to someone on benefits. I'm terrified, and feel sick, but if I stay here it won't be good for any of us as things are escalating rapidly and he's very good at manipulating me, I feel like I'm going crazy I have to leave but how does anyone cope?

400 a month left over is not terrible. We both work full time and between me and my partner after all you have described we have less then £100 left at the end of month.
We buy all the kids and most of our clothes second hand, shoes ect are bought when we find them on sale. Lots of free activities with kids. It's perfectly doable. Set realistic budgets for Christmas ( 100 per child and o ly small very cheep stocking fuller the gifts for me and DP).

There us also a 10 a day thread on here that o follow to get a bit more. Surveys, match betting and little bits to take the pressure off.

OP, do you know that you will have the kids full time? If you split 50/50 you might not get child maintenance, but you could probably work twice as much as you currently are. It could work out better financially for you if your ex isn’t a high earner.

They don't. That's the problem. People are quick to bash people on them I find but when you know someone on them literally on the bread line it's heart breaking.

Literally they will choose heating or eating. It's not right in todays world. It's sickening.

OP, you're going to be fine. One thing I would suggest is you use the calculations on universal credit essentials rather than the standard benefits calculator websites. It is so much more accurate.

Agree, it's sometimes difficult to claim child maintenance but honestly, put a claim in as soon as he leaves and make sure you pursue it. Why should you alone be responsible for ensuring your children are fed, watered and housed!?

Best wishes.

I've got 2 friends who are single parents on UC and they both seem to have a lot more disposable income than we do as a couple!!
Both get free holiday kids food vouchers
Universal free meals up to leaving school
Help with uniform
Rent paid
No council tax

I'm not saying they don't need help but they seem to get quite a bit

It makes more sense for them to be with me for the majority of the time, his job starts at 4am with varying finishing hours, 6 days a week. He also has less patience with them - particularly the younger child. He wouldn't be willing to change his hours.

Your calculation looks quite right for me. Please don't think that people on UC receiving thousands... Yes, usually you have few pounds left after everything is paid. If you heard stories that people on UC going holidays, etc - 100% they are doing some extra jobs for cash or doing something illegal (renting their house, etc).
We are on UC - husband doing ~50hrs week, I'm doing 20hrs. We are in London and it's veeeery expensive. We don't have any family here, so the only childcare we have is nursery and I'm struggling because we both need to do various shifts.
I am on yellow sticker food, all available freebie websites (don't need to buy makeup, razors, etc-just using what is available for free), doing everything at home (hairs, nails, eyebrows), cooking a lot by myself.
It's really hard, especially when you have kids...

My full time pay after 21 years working as a nurse in the NHS is £39000 a year ( approx £2200 a month) I'm a single parent, two children, no maintenance payment, zero benefit top ups. I manage.

It's all about rent to be honest. Sometimes people have no clue how much it costs in London.
You won't find 1 bedroom flat less than £1000/month and it will be zone 3/4,so additional £150 for Oyster card if you work in the centre.
So even if you get £2000(which looks a lot), it's very very small amount in London.

Why are you not working full time, especially when yiur youngest will be getting 30 free hours shortly - of course benefits should not give you more than 400 a month for spare money

This

Why can't you boot the abuser out?

I fled with a 7 week old
Had just laid thousands for a new rental apartment

Why are we the ones who always have to leave and then financially struggle so badly ?!!

I think when the youngest starts free hours, you'd be better to see what you can squeeze into those hours. Our primary school is conveniently across from a sheltered housing scheme and I know a few mums who do helping hand type jobs. Cleaning, laundry, ironing dogwalking, putting shopping away, getting bits from chemist/ butcher/ baker. Going rate is is £10-12 an hour. Obviously won't be the same where you live but there might be opportunities that minimise your childcare bill/ commuting costs.

My DD currently does not attend nursery so I do not currently work full time, I haven't left yet I'm just getting things put in motion to leave. I don't currently work full time because I don't have childcare to work full time, my work also can't just magic up more hours for me to work full time, nursery hours are also different to my work hours. Not many nurseries are open till 11pm when I finish. I haven't been working full time so far because the person I'm currently in a relationship with barely allows me to work the hours I do now and wants me to quit my job full stop. Even if I was working full time I would still need benefit tops up.

I have already stated that I will upping my hours/finding another job when it is feasible for me to do so, it currently is not. My work can't just give me more hours, I don't think right now is the right time to be finding a new job on top of trying to leave an abusive relationship. I've also stated that £400 was incorrect. I was wrong.

She also won't be getting 30 hours she will be getting 15 because my hours change depending on the business needs and I can't risk having to pay back money that I don't have.

Tax credits aren't open to new claims any more. Its all UC.

Some of these aren't universal though. I still have to pay CT and don't get school uniform grants. (Not complaining btw before anyone starts).

Please stop blaming for not doing full time.
Not every single job has morning or 8-5shifts. And not every single person can change a job (maybe waiting for promotion, opportunity, living rural,waiting for training, etc).
Also contracts are very tricky now (working hours/patterns) - companies are struggling with staff,so they want to be sure they can "push" you in legal way to cover someone.

You find a way. I am on UC (LCWRA) and that is my only income. I have no housing cost though (house is owned and no mortgage), and I am a single adult.
Batch cooking, yellow ticket items. Not being fussy about furniture matching, so use Freecycle etc.
I used to work, and I took home £200 more than what I am on now so I guess I am used to having very little.

This is why the system is fucked. I have a degree and don't get that while having to pay for childcare while I'm at work. No wonder people go onto benefits....I often wonder who the daft ones are.
not having a go at the OP as obv she's just claiming what she's entitled to but it's a shocking system!

benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/

It's very accurate.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

This information about budgeting might also help.

I find meal planning helpful. It reduces food waste and overspending o shopping. I get my shopping at Aldi. I sometimes us to good to go or ollio apps if it's a tight month. My kids have what they need. I really am on the back burner. I don't spend money on myself unless it's totally necessary.

Be wary of the online calculators. I did those and was pleasantly surprised by how much i'd be entitled to. 2 weeks later after an appointment with the job centre about my claim they told me i could have £12 per month. I was earning £18k and had one child.

So the calculators were incorrect for me. Maybe not everyone but just letting you know my experience.

OP will be struggling - are you paying £1300 in rent ? @Mrsmch123

OP good on you for planning and getting out. I did the same 8 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. You will all be fine, and you can work more as they get older.

i suppose ultimately, my feeling was, yes I’m working for the same take home pay as Mrs X down the road, but her take home ‘pay’ is wholly related to her children.

when my children are flown, I’ll still have a reasonably well paid job and a pension. Mrs X up the road probably won’t.

but it’s such a bad system.

OP it sounds like you’re pretty determined not to stay on benefits forever. I think you’ll be fine. Your main focus now needs to be getting out and getting straight, doesn’t it.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/sorting-out-money/dividing-up-money-and-belongings-when-you-separate

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people/child-maintenance1/

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people