People on benefits - how do you cope?

[TheGreatBobinsky]

I'm making plans to leave my relationship with my 2 children, I've used an online calculator to find out what I'd be entitled too and provided I could still work some hours at work I'd be getting around £2,400 a month total (including my earnings). Rent in my area is £1,300 on average for a 2 bed flat, I've added up council tax, water, gas, electric, Internet, subscriptions for Netflix/Disney (we don't watch normal TV so no TV licence) and food and it looks like I'd have around £400 spare a month for clothes, school uniform, emergencies, childcare, travel etc. But am I missing something obvious here? (I can't drive so that's not an issue?). I have no idea how I'm going to manage, embarrassing as it is I haven't been the one to deal with the majority of the bills etc. So I'm a bit clueless about certain bills. What about furniture and kitchen things, and everything we will need in a new home? That's if I even get accepted into a flat, I know a hell of a lot of landlords just point blank refuse to rent to someone on benefits. I'm terrified, and feel sick, but if I stay here it won't be good for any of us as things are escalating rapidly and he's very good at manipulating me, I feel like I'm going crazy I have to leave but how does anyone cope?

I haven't dismissed the suggestions, I have explained why certain things are not feasible in my situation and I have argued against the idea that I'm simply looking for a handout and that I'm wanting a life of luxury. As it is I can't reach out to these places right now because I'm not alone and he will listen in and ask questions. I will have to wait until they are a) open and b) I'm not going to be overheard. My mum was supposed to be taking me there this week but has changed her mind now.

There are always exceptions to the rule, but in general, wages go up and benefits go down.

Sorry but this is completely untrue. Benefits have gone up by over 3% this year and will most likely go up with inflation (10%+) from next year. In the meantime, most people in work have seen their wages reduced because they are paying more NI. It doesn't pay to work and this is why there are so many job vacancies and people don't want to work.

Most families (especially those with children) are much better off (and more secure) on benefits and have the luxury of more free time (part time work gets topped up by benefits). It's a real crisis and the welfare bill is huge and getting ever larger. More and more people are packing in work or going part time and I can't blame them.

And I have used the resources that have been shared where I can (without being heard) and it's told me the same thing I posted on here already that people are telling me is wrong and that its too much. I don't see how it is too much when I'm looking at how much living costs and it's not adding up. Yes it looks like a hell of a lot on paper, but the vast majority of that is for rent. £1,300 doesn't get you a nice, beautiful flat around here - it gets you a mould ridden, tiny 2 bed in a tower block that constantly stinks of weed and police sirens are commonly heard because there's been another stabbing outside. That's what £1,300 gets you. If I could up sticks and move without worrying about my job, my family, childcare etc. Then I would love too but I can't.

In sorry I'm just desperate for help and there just isn't any. I can't ring women's aid when he's here. I can't ring CAB when he's here and my mum now won't take me. I have used the available resources online and now I'm being told they're wrong so I can't trust them, I don't know where to turn. I never thought I'd be in a situation where I had to get out.

I think you need to think about what you can do to realistically increase what money you have coming in,without it being too hard.I do survey sites and make an easy £20 a week just from them.There are loads of sites,ideas etc over on the £10 a day thread,also a long running streetbees (surveys again)thread on credit crunch/money matters.There are so many ways to increase your weekly income without it being too hard or time consuming.

Christ the benefit system is mad if your calculations are right. I work full time for £49k and bring home £2700 after taxes, student loans etc so you’ll be almost the same as me!

Ok, I agree that everything's messed up but I've already explained so many times I will be barely be getting by on that. I genuinley don't know what to say to comments like these, would you rather me and children were on the streets or that we stayed where we are in this situation? Honestly I feel like giving up. Not all of that benefit will be paid into my bank account, it's deductions and child care and some of it is child benefit which A LOT of people get. If I lived in a cheaper area it wouldn't be anywhere near that amount it's not my fault that private rents are astronomical.

I'm not lazy, I'm not a scrounger, I'm not expecting to stay on benefits for the rest of my life, I'm not doing part time because I'm too lazy to do full time, I'm doing the best I can and some of the comments on this thread have been really harsh. It seems like a lot of people would rather women like me got no help.

I'm mid 20s, never worked and claim PIP for asd. It's difficult, I get just under £90 per week. I live at home and don't have to pay rent otherwise I think I'd be screwed. All my clothes have holes in, I currently haven't left the house for 3 weeks because fuel prices are something I can't afford anymore. I had to start a very high dose of antidepressant because I've become seriously mentally ill because of the worries about how I'm going to survive in the future. Tried applying for UC but got told that because I have no living expenses I'm not entitled to it but I couldn't cope with having to go to the job centre weekly, I can barely leave my bedroom to go to the kitchen to eat let alone having to travel 45 minutes every week to talk to someone face to face, it's my biggest fear right now..

I'm not having a go at you! I've been in your shoes. I do totally understand what you're saying. What you can do is an online enquiry with both Women's Aid and CAB and they will ring you when it's convenient and safe for you. You need a full benefits check with a professional who will go through everything with a fine toothed comb. Also CAB may be able to offer legal advice from their own solicitors. It may also be worth checking if your current home insurance includes legal protection as they will have helplines available. You're not scrounging and you are exactly what the benefit safety net is for. Don't give up, you CAN do this!

@HogwartsForever11 are you the only earner in your household? I am, and take home what op does and I only have one child and I own my home outright so no rent or mortgage - and things are still tight

Also listen to @TheFormidableMrsC - I'm a huge admirer of hers and she has been where you have and knows the law

Get a better job? Work more hours? Move to a cheaper area? That's more money than a lot of people earn.

@SmellyWellyWoo with what qualifications? I'm planning on doing an online course but seeing as that will take years that I don't have, a better job isn't really in my sights at the moment, particularly not one that will work around childcare needs that I have right now. I've already explained why I can't move to a cheaper area. Is your advice to someone leaving an abusive relationship really to just find a better job on top of everything else they're having to sort out? I've explained why I can't do more hours and even if I was doing more hours - I'd still be needing universal credit top ups to survive!

Do expensive areas not need the lower earners then? Should we just not exist in more expensive areas - so no restaurants, no carers, no cleaners, no shop workers, no delivery drivers etc. If I move then I have to quit my job and find a new one where ever I move too, only I wouldn't be able to go to that job because I wouldn't have childcare so I would be even worse off?

I don't know what you want people to say? That you should get far more money in benefits than a lot of people earn?

If you’re correct, that’s more per month than I bring home as a professional working 40 hrs a week. On those grounds, I think you’re pretty damn lucky! £400 spare is plenty, and if needs be you can cut out the subscriptions and other little ‘unnecessary’ items.

The only advice people can give you is to look at reducing your rent. A smaller place? Less bedrooms (even if it means you sleeping on a sofa) It's not good I agree, but you are starting from scratch and need to work your way up to having all the home comforts.

Good luck with what you are doing!

I think you should be ok. You can reduce your mobile bill. I pay £10pm for mine. You can see if you would be entitled to the Warm house discount from your utility company. There is also the Cost of Living payment of £325 in the autumn.

I get most of my DD's school uniform from school's 2nd hand shop. Other clothes from charity shops, supermarkets or Primark. I get one shop a month from Sainsbury's and the rest from Aldi or Lidl. If food is tight I just make my DC dinner and eat their leftovers. There is also the food bank.

This Summer most day outs will be the beach/park/woods with a picnic. Get a multi pack of ice lollies rather than buy them individually.

Oh and for the winter if you can invest in a heated throw, you can use that and don't turn on the heating.

I think I'm going to add here that it is ok for people who have not been in this situation to say you can "just" do this or that. It isn't always that simple. It is quite frankly overwhelming and terrifying, particularly if you are escaping abuse. I can understand OP's fears and worries. OP, make those appointments when it's safe to do so. The whole thing is whirling in your head right now and it would help for a fresh pair of eyes to sit and go through it all with you.

I agree some people work full time for the same amount, probably don't qualify for much if any help and have to manage
We've cut back on subscriptions, got rid of Netflix and sky and gone to pay monthly deals when our phone contracts end

Use too good to go app

And basically we have to budget like most people will be doing

@HogwartsForever11

I posted before I'd seen this

I agree the whole system is wrong people should be encouraged to work more and claim less!!

It's outrageous

Yeah, I cancelled Netflix and Disney, paused audible…didn’t really think much of it other than it’s part of saving money in times of high living costs!

you'll be fine lovely, just get yourself out of there and if you need to eat beans on toast every day to get by then that's what you'll do. if you're on Facebook join the universal credit essentials page and they can work out an accurate calculation for you. rent is shocking in some places, you might be near me as here a 3 bed house is 2k a month!! pm me if you want to chat. I left 2 years ago and its the best decision I ever made!

The problem is when people are commenting as though I'll be living the life of Riley when I very clearly won't be (nor do I expect too). It's comments like 'just work more' and 'just get a new/better job' when I don't have childcare and it's not as easy as just finding a new job to suit hours and just moving to a new area when you need family for childcare. I don't want to stay on benefits forever, I want to gain qualifications and get a full time job eventually but that's not going to happen while I'm in this situation and in the mean time I need to survive and I want my children to have a basic standard of life.

As a single parent claiming getting as much money as someone working full time you will be eligable for 80% off your childcare which someone on the same income not via benefits has to pay out their own pockets!

I have 2 friends in this situation both are better off than me and my partner working.

It just grates on people who work hard that people on benefits are as well off of not better it's not fair

But 80% of childcare is not going to benefit me because I work evenings, I don't work a 9-5 job, I rely on family which means I will only be able to work 16 hours for a while. I wont be financially better off than two people in a relationship, I will be much, much worse off financially than I am currently (and we certainly are not well off right now). I don't know how anyone can be getting by and not struggling on the benefits unless they don't change depending on area.