To be annoyed with teacher giving my child food gifts that they can't eat

[mrsfoof]

DC has a gluten intolerance. To clarify, it's 'just' an intolerance not coeliac disease, but if they eat even a little bit of it, they get bad stomach cramps and diarrhoea. DC is 10 and the school are aware of their dietary requirements and are great at providing GF school meals and always remember to provide GF ingredients when the DC does cooking in class etc.
Anyway, at Easter, all children were given an Easter egg by the teacher. All the class had the same type of egg but it contained gluten so DC couldn't eat theirs.
The same happened today - DCs were given various toys and sweets in a goody bag as an end of term gift, some of which contained gluten.
Now the gluten sweets aren't especially obviously 'gluten-y' (Smarties, Mars bars etc) so I expect it never crossed the teacher's mind to link them with the fact that they contain gluten. However, I'm a bit cross that the school are handing out foods with allergens in them to kids that can't eat them. DC knows that they are ones that they can't eat and was very gracious in just saying thank you to the teacher and giving them to their siblings to eat instead. They were a bit disappointed of course but it's not a big deal to them.
On the other hand wonder if I should mention it - what if DC was younger and ate them without checking? Should they have more robust procedures to ensure that allergens aren't given to kids who shouldn't be eating them?
And yes, I'm aware that it's highly likely that the teacher bought these with their own money and it would seem very ungrateful to 'complain'. Any letter I send would be about awareness, not complaining as such.
Or should I just keep quiet?

I actually don't think it's ok. My ds is allergic to nuts and school are so good about it. I've had numerous messages and conversations with his teacher throughout the year checking what he can and can't have (to clarify it isn't even a bad allergy which they are aware of, he just gets a skin rash if he eats certain nuts) They should be taking it seriously.

I think lots of people on here are in the fortunate position of never having to worry that their child may become very ill or even die if they eat the wrong thing. When you're living with that every day, you just sometimes do have to be THAT parent, you do have to be assertive (or what luckier people might see as rude) because the situation is so serious.

Yes, this.

My DD is coeliac. Gluten makes her very ill when she eats it - diarrhoea, horrendous stomach cramps, sickness sometimes, constipation for weeks. Not to mention the damage it does to her gut.

While OP’s child is intolerant rather than coeliac, gluten still makes him unwell and an intolerance can be just as harmful and dangerous as actual coeliacs

It is not entitled or selfish, or ungrateful or any of the other shit that’s been posted on here to want to make sure your child isn’t given inappropriate food in school. I used to keep a box in school for DD with GF stuff in for occasions like this, but she was still given stuff like cake bars, treats containing gluten, Pringles, etc. I had to be THAT parent.

Food intolerances are very different to allergies and don’t cause a dangerous reaction. You also need to eat a substantial amount, unlike allergies where traces can cause a reaction. They can also change over time. My son is intolerant to some foods but he can still eat small amounts of the things he is intolerant to. I haven’t informed his current school as he knows what to avoid and it isn’t actually dangerous if he eats something he shouldn’t.

Food intolerances are very different to allergies and don’t cause a dangerous reaction. You also need to eat a substantial amount, unlike allergies where traces can cause a reaction.

In my experience that's absolute bollocks. DDs intolerance to artificial sweeteners has put her in hospital with a bad colitis flare up on occasions. Ditto with lactose intolerance ... it only took a mouthful to make her extremely ill & sometimes for weeks

Both my children have gluten intolerance, one of whom would react like yours. The school are usually really good about providing alternatives during lessons/in school treats. But for some reason the end of year treats are often unsuitable - I would never complain and of course the kids are used to it but it's always a bit disappointing. We've had one teacher this year who has been amazing about it all year and has given non food gifts but the other has given a Freddo which is a 'may contain' which I'm sure is just an oversight but still.

And yes this - people get weirdly offended if you double check something. I can only imagine how much worse that is for a life threatening allergy. Sure my kids would 'only' have the runs, vomit, etc but of course I want to avoid that. I have got used to being 'that' parent but I wish people wouldn't react like it's a personal insult.

My DC is very sensitive to gluten so whilst it's not a life-threatening allergy (and I acknowledge this is on a different scale completely), eating even a tiny bit gives them horrendous stomach cramps and diarrhoea. So yes, they avoid it completely and the school are aware that they have to have a GF diet etc (as advised by their consultant due to them being underweight and malnourished when they were eating gluten, not just us being precious).

There are thousands of kids with intolerances and allergies. Your child isn't getting sick because she knows what she can and can't eat.

One of my kids is allergic to raw fruit. It was often given out in primary as a treat and he couldn't eat it. It wouldn't have occurred to me to write a letter - much less an anonymous one - complaining that they teacher had brought in a box of cherries and he couldn't have any.

Really, don't be that parent.

But would the teacher have handed your child a portion of cherries knowing that they couldn't eat them due to their allergy? I'd have no problem whatsoever with my child missing out by getting nothing at all, but being given something that they would make them ill if they ate it seems a bit different.

Yes, because I never told the school.

Sorry Yes, they would have given them to them but no, they didn't know they were allergic to them.

Which is exactly what's happened to your daughter (except she has an intolerance rather than an allergy). The teacher didn't knowingly pick treats your daughter couldn't eat. They're chocolates. She didn't realise they contain gluten.

The teacher didn't knowingly pick treats your daughter couldn't eat. They're chocolates. She didn't realise they contain gluten.

Smarties are clearly labelled as containing gluten though. If you're buying for children with allergies/intolerances you do need to check labels. I know it was an oversight, but it still shouldn't have happened in a school.

Better still, check with the parent.

I would say it to the teacher, not in a cross way, but kindly and in an effort to be helpful.

If it happens again next year or the year after, maybe to a younger child who has a bad reaction and ends up in hospital...how terrible will she feel then?

Like a pp, I was going to suggest having a word with their new teacher in September. Just say you had a few occasions last year were DC was unexpectedly given treats containing gluten. Emphasise that it was very kind of the teacher and that gluten can be hidden in chocolate where you wouldn't expect it to be, therefore you would prefer that your DC is not given any food items at all. Ask the teacher to let you know in advance if possible so that you can send in alternatives for the teacher to give out if this will be happening again.

An anon complaint will do nothing as this teacher will still clearly not know it relates to them as they didn't think those sweets contained gluten. Either you need to verbally address it directly with that teacher in the kindest way you can muster; or you let it go. I completely understand your annoyance here but I also understand the teachers' perspective. I think you worrying about DC with a severe allergy is a red herring though as I doubt anything would be given to those DC without the parents express permission. Your DC sounds absolutely lovely and I am sure you were proud of their response to the teacher.

It is irrelevant though whether it is an intolerance or allergy - it should all be treated the same. This poor DC clearly gets very unwell with gluten - just because it isn't life threatening, that doesn't mean it is unimportant. I don't really get why you chose to not tell the school of our child's allergy but that has no relevance here as OP has informed the school.

It is irrelevant though whether it is an intolerance or allergy - it should all be treated the same. This poor DC clearly gets very unwell with gluten - just because it isn't life threatening, that doesn't mean it is unimportant

Exactly!

I have an issue with certain seafood. It won’t kill me, but it makes me very unwell. It’s irrelevant as to whether it’s an allergy or not, it’s no comfort to me when I’m puking my guts up.

Gluten makes OP’s child very unwell and they can’t eat it. On this occasion it’s an intolerance, but it is important that labels are checked when handing out food treats.

I’ve had to have lots of chats when my DD was at primary school, I always thanked them, and gently reminded them that DD was coeliac, and ask for them to only give DD treats out of the box of suitable stuff that I had provided. You don’t have to be a dick about it, but it is important

I can’t believe people are saying it’s hard for teachers to know about or cater to allergies.

I bought two packs of bourbons to go around my class and then one of those Nomo bars which is vegan and gluten free. The chocolate bar was 60p and I broke it in half so it was fairly equitable with the biscuits.

It. Is. Not. Hard. And it’s also fairly insulting to think teachers are incapable of checking dietary requirements. Genuinely, this is absolutely basic level stuff - you NEED to know what the children in your class are allergic to, it’s absolutely mental to suggest otherwise.

We don’t need to give gifts at all, and some teachers may choose to avoid giving food which fine but if you’re going to, only do so if you can be 100% sure the children in your class can eat it. Again - absolutely basic stuff.

Crikey. I can't imagine why teachers are leaving the profession in droves.

@alloalloallo ask for them to only give DD treats out of the box of suitable stuff that I had provided

Which is fine but the OP didn't do that.

Should I tell the teacher that they can never give fruit out to the class because my child can't eat it? Of course not.

Yes, because it’s so difficult for us to check the packaging or Google “smarties gluten free”. This is really what tips us over the edge.

Agree with mrsfoof

"I think any email sent would be done anonymously and not naming the teacher as I'd hate for the teacher to feel bad about this."

But please do send it.

The fact the teacher used their own money is immaterial. If you give something to children to eat you need to know it is safe to do so. It's very easy these days to buy clearly labeled gluten free etc products.

I help at youth group and always ask if buying items of food or drink.

It's a safety first issue but also important that your child feels included in something they, like the other kids, can enjoy.

As DC is 10, aware of what he can/can’t eat and doesn’t have a life threatening anaphylactic reaction to the gifts, I think it’s best to say nothing and just replace them with things he can eat.

Sooner or later he’ll need to decide what’s safe for him to consume anyway, and may not tell everyone about his celiac disease.

Wouldn't have even occured to me that smarties have gluten.
My kids have allergies. They graciously take what's offered. Check with me at home then we swap out what they cant have. It's just life with allergies.

You need to speak to the teacher, as she is probably just trying to do something nice for her students. However, she seems to be unaware of allergies which is a bit worrying.

The only sweets I give to my students (secondary) are Skittles and Starburst as they are suitable for halal and vegan diets as well as being gluten-free.