To be annoyed with teacher giving my child food gifts that they can't eat

[mrsfoof]

DC has a gluten intolerance. To clarify, it's 'just' an intolerance not coeliac disease, but if they eat even a little bit of it, they get bad stomach cramps and diarrhoea. DC is 10 and the school are aware of their dietary requirements and are great at providing GF school meals and always remember to provide GF ingredients when the DC does cooking in class etc.
Anyway, at Easter, all children were given an Easter egg by the teacher. All the class had the same type of egg but it contained gluten so DC couldn't eat theirs.
The same happened today - DCs were given various toys and sweets in a goody bag as an end of term gift, some of which contained gluten.
Now the gluten sweets aren't especially obviously 'gluten-y' (Smarties, Mars bars etc) so I expect it never crossed the teacher's mind to link them with the fact that they contain gluten. However, I'm a bit cross that the school are handing out foods with allergens in them to kids that can't eat them. DC knows that they are ones that they can't eat and was very gracious in just saying thank you to the teacher and giving them to their siblings to eat instead. They were a bit disappointed of course but it's not a big deal to them.
On the other hand wonder if I should mention it - what if DC was younger and ate them without checking? Should they have more robust procedures to ensure that allergens aren't given to kids who shouldn't be eating them?
And yes, I'm aware that it's highly likely that the teacher bought these with their own money and it would seem very ungrateful to 'complain'. Any letter I send would be about awareness, not complaining as such.
Or should I just keep quiet?

You really think this is comparable?
And you're a teacher?

This mistake/oversight by the teacher could lead to a DC being seriously ill next time. A polite email to the teacher is the right thing to do.

I think you feel strongly about the letter are are going to send one .

However personally I'd go with option B keep quiet.

The teacher has paid for the treats voluntary for the whole class and understandably each child has received the same. You are clearly aware of the potential situations and can look after and educate your own child about their dietary needs without policing others.

The school will advise their staff as they think appropriate. Anonymous letters will end in teachers refraining due to risk of complaints and children will miss out as a result.

YANBU. I am biased as I’m coeliac, but as a teacher I know all the dietary requirements of my class. I buy treats for them that suit these. It’s not hard! I also always keep the packaging so they can see for themselves it’s ok.

if a teacher is going to provide treats (which they aren’t obligated to do), they MUST be suitable for the children’s diet.

I'd suggest speaking with the teacher first.., even better if you can email them so you have a paper trail, just incase.

Chances are it was an honest mistake, it is surprising what's hidden in seemingly innocent foods, but it's definitely a mistake they need to learn from.

If you get a flippant dismissive response from the teacher, then it needs to be raised higher so they can be educated. Unfortunately there are in life & frequently seen on here people who presume we are just annoying hippy mothers making a fuss about nothing for attention & as we found, very occasionally these people are teachers

I would suggest sending in a few bags of safe treats though for the teachers drawer, that way there's always something safe there for your DD in such situations. That worked best for us, though some teachers were kind enough to provide berries for DD & others

As the mother of a child with serios.dairy allergy I hate that schools give out.food.to.children. my suggestion is to let this one go, but in future have a meeting with your child's teacher, you can provide her with a list of safe treats, or a box of safe.treats that she can use when she wants to gice.something to the children. This was my approach and it worked well throughout his school career.

Teacher tries to do something nice. Parent complains- there’s only one way this will end- upset teacher & no more treats for the kids because one parent got upset.

Kids gets sweets etc that they don't actually like, so don't eat them. Its not a big deal. Your DS understands and doesn't eat them

I'm really surprised by the people not getting this!

It's not about being ungrateful and you wanting an appropriate treat for your child - it's about making sure that staff know, to double check for allergens when giving out treats, as they could have things in they wouldn't realise.

Ds is allergic to nuts, along with things like peas, chickpeas, kiwi, mango... it's bonkers the amount of stuff that now has pea flour in (to make it gluten free ironically 😄), things that I would never have thought to check before.

I think you're right to give school a heads up. This could very easily have been a child who has a serious allergy being given food, and like you say, half the time they've come out of food gobbling their treats. It's not arsey and grabby to just remind staff that allergens sneak into things that you wouldn't even think contained them.

Might as well get used to it, your child will have a lifetime of being gifted things they can't eat and expecting to be grateful. I used to work somewhere where they frequently 'rewarded' staff with things like a beer after work, a pizza lunch, mince pies at Christmas, biscuits and chocolates at Easter. Never a single thing I could actually consume in the 2 years I worked there.

And I anticipate the "well kids should know not to eat things without checking" argument. But a younger child given something by their teacher, who is well aware of their allergies, is going to trust that what they have been given is safe.

Stop moaning, the teacher did something nice! Now you are trying to spoil it. And spoil it for all the other kids, stop been a dick!

Exactly this. Most teachers are on their knees and she’s probably been to hell and back with that class this year. She’s probably spent hundreds of pounds throughout the year on the classroom and treats for the kids, to try to give the appearance that it’s actually an okay place to go to school, like we all do at my school. She’s probably got no money left now to spend on her own child over the summer but has decided to treat the class with the last of what she has. She’ll have put up with parent scry tiny of every move she’s made all year and constant criticism from SLT even after working double the contracted hours to prepare for observed lessons. She’s maybe even been physically assaulted at work from a child in the class multiple times with nothing having been done about it and no support to help her. Yet despite all this she’s decided to treat the kids. Probably after having to check the consent forms for the trip, who’s allowed in a picture and who’s walking home or getting picked up, she’s maybe forgot to double check the dietary requirements list but she clearly has the class’ best interests at heart.

Send an email saying what a great teacher she is and maybe she won’t quit like the rest of us!

As a teacher this actually really annoys me. We have the information about dietary requirements alongside all the other important medical information we need to know. It isn’t hard to double check and get it right. Would you be expected to brush it under the carpet if non halal sweets were given to a child who can’t eat them? What about something with dairy to someone who is lactose intolerant? I presume this is in primary? Kids with dietary restrictions often feel left out and I’d be so upset if I gave a gift that reinforced that feeling.
Schools should have very good awareness of what children can and cannot eat. If you are buying kids a food gift then you double check.

That's dreadful that your workplace didn't cater for you. DH has coeliac disease and his workplace is brilliant - there's always a GF biscuit or cake for him at any meeting.

Yes, DC is used to there not being much for them to eat at family / Christmas parties etc. Sadly, they haven't even been invited to a single birthday party, or dinner / sleepover at a friend's house this year. Presumably because of the dietary requirements as all the reports from school say they're popular and DC had 12 kids to their party and we've had DC here for dinner etc.

Hardly any Haribo is vegan. Dairy-free does not necessarily mean vegan.

YABU. Allergies are unfortunate, but unless it is a life threatening nut allergy, you don't get to dictate. The world does not revolve around your child.

Dairy-free does not necessarily mean vegan.

And vegan does not mean dairy free from an allergy perspective.

But the child with the dietary requirement is already missing out?

Maybe just remind them gently? It's what we have to do if I know there will be sweets or treats given out at Christmas/Easter/end of year. Also, I keep a small stock of treats in, just in case. If something is given out in their bags that DD can't have, I say "oh well, we have X at home instead, that'll be nice!" The bake sales at school I do find the worst when people line up to buy cake and DD wants a look but last time managed to get away with the above tactic fine.

FWIW, DD's class were given a chocolate cake bar which was provided by a parent for a kids birthday. I had to check because of DD's allergens but saw what looked like the word 'rum' on it, although the packaging was in a different language. Opened it slightly and it wreaked of rum. Due to being pregnant, I didn't want to take the risk of eating it. DH got home and ate it, he said it mainly tasted of rum and it had that kind of kick back like chocolate cherry liqueurs.

It was too late to tell the school about it but I just hoped all parents checked it first!

@LittleCrow - ha! I bet that class were fun that day

Wow some of the replies on here are really spiteful.

It's part of the teachers job to know about the medical needs of the children in their care. To be handing out treats to them which they can't have is
A) cruel
B) potentially dangerous, esp if they are doing this to other children with life threatening allergies

I would raise this with the school.

YANBU at all - I'm a teacher and would always double check dietary requirements before giving sweets to my class, although I'm vegan so I find it's natural for me to double check ingredients because things you can't eat can end up in the most unexpected foods.

I think a quick message to the school just about allergy/intolerance awareness would be fine. Your DD was given something that they can't eat by an adult, that shouldn't happen.

I would say at primary level, the teachers have a responsibility not to give a child food they are intolerant to. At secondary, I would possibly be less concerned as unless there a are additional needs the child should have some responsibility themselves for what they eat.
I would probably speak to the teacher directly in the first place rather than putting in a formal complaint

It's a present. Don't send an email complaining that your child can't eat the present.

YABVVVU - mentioning it would make you look like THAT parent.