To want to believe in life after death

[Jezebell]

Part of me really wants to believe in this. Part of me is cynical. I’m still grieving but comforted a little by hearing anecdotes where people’s lost loved ones visit somehow, in any form… Can anyone give any personal stories where they feel this might have happened?

Nothing to indicate I'm getting signals from the other side, I'm afraid.

I do remember going in for a hospital procedure as a much younger adult which involved a GA. I was a bit anxious about it as I hadn't had a GA since I was a child. Came round from the anaesthesia and there was a nice nurse by my bedside who was there to check on me as I came to.

Out of the blue, she said, "Are you XX's sister?" My sibling passed away many years ago when I was a child. Turns out she had been in their primary class at school. We had a nice chat reminiscing and talking about what she was up to these days. Definitely not supernatural but it felt like, they were almost back with me for a moment.

I like to think of an afterlife as how you are remembered by others..have you seen the film Coco? I don't believe in anything remotely supernatural so it's not quite what I believe but the gist is that you still 'live' so long as you are remembered. Someone I know made a point of using phrases and nursery rhymes with his kids that his deceased grandparents had used, which I thought was nice.

I quite like the concept that everyone has two deaths, the first is when their body dies, the second is the last time anyone speaks of them.

I like to think we live on in the hearts and minds of others. So if we are nice people while alive, we will be fondly remembered on death and thus, our memory survives.

YANBU. I am sure there has to be more, and I have had 'paranormal' experiences/sensed and heard and felt the presence of loved ones who have passed on. 😘

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps Thanks. Did your experiences happen not long after the passings, or years after ? Just wondering if there is a time limit on this kind of phenomena?

Shortly after... I believe that our loved ones don't always leave right away. Sometimes a number of weeks, sometimes a year or more, sometimes longer... but mine were only a short time after... I definitely sensed/felt several very close loved ones when they had passed, but only for a few weeks after... (Maybe up to 6 or 7 weeks.)

Head says no, heart says yes. After Iost my mum I was desperate to believe, I really needed it. So I deliberately sought out stories to affirm it. Even went to spiritualist churches. If you want it badly enough you can find your 'proof'. As time went on and I healed, I found I didn't need it anymore, but choosing to believe at the time helped me.

Try the programme ‘ghost inside my child’ - available on Amazon prime I think but maybe YouTube too. Also the podcast ‘Two girls one ghost’. Some of the podcast is more scary stories but some are quite heartwarming. And it’s all reassuring with regard to the life after death concept.

My pregnant Mum was crying in bed with my Dad holding her as they had just been told that my sisters risk of Down’s syndrome was high (turned out she didn’t have it when she was born). And the duvet cover crept up and tucked them both in and she felt a kiss on her cheek. She thinks it was her Dad.

My great Aunt passed away from diabetes and my sister was around 2. She was giggling and wriggling like mad under the coffee table and we were all laughing at her asking what was so funny and she said ‘The lady’s ticking me’. We asked what lady. ‘The lady from the hospital’. We’d been to visit my Great Aunt in hospital about 2 weeks prior before she passed away. Later the same night (I was 9) I saw the shape of a figure behind my sheer curtain. I got out of bed to check the window thinking a breeze had billowed up the curtain. It was closed and so was my door. I then stared at the shape and started to freak out and the curtain just dropped back into position.

Someone once told me a story where their grandad passed away and at the exact moment his wife’s doorbell rang. Over the years the doorbell had run out of battery and was no longer in use. It had been checked by the person who told me the story - technical/mechanical/ engineering background. The doorbell should not have been able to work at all. But every year on significant dates like the grandad a birthday/anniversary of death, the doorbell went off.

When one of my Uncles passed away my Grandma (his mother) had woken in the night and said she felt/saw a presence in her room and knew one of her sons had died. She assumed it was one particular son with mental health problems but it was actually a different one.

One of my hairdressers told me they saw their deceased brother at the side of their bed.

I’ve heard so many stories like this. I think they’re too common to be discredited. I hope they give you comfort in your grief. I’m so sorry for your loss xxx

When my late partner died (I was there), I had a very strong sense of him 'moving on' or travelling somewhere, rather than him ending.

That’s a terrible idea. Poor old Auntie Jean might be forgotten quickly, while Hitler, Stalin and Mao will be remembered much longer

Remember that energy cannot be destroyed (according to the laws of physics). So when we die, the energy that comprises us will still exist somewhere in the universe...
Whether we will be conscious of it or not, who knows.

But if there is an "afterlife" with ghosts and all that, why don't our loved ones come back to visit us? There are various explanations…

1. When we die we lose our humanity and attachments, so we have no affection for or empathy with earthly things any more, including people.

2. There is no concept of time in the afterlife so there is no urgency for spirits to do anything. They know we'll be there with them in the blink of an eye.

1. It's so great, they don't want to spoil the surprise for us (just like we don't tell our children what presents they are getting for Christmas).

The last one is my own theory and I kind of like it. I just wish I could believe it...

@HopefulBump This is great, thank you! 3 points : Firstly, is the Amazon programme the one about reincarnation? I have watched some of that. Fascinating but I am also perplexed how reincarnation can fit alongside ‘visitations’… Perhaps only part of the soul reincarnates, or perhaps there is a period between passing and reincarnating…
Secondly , the doorbell story is interesting because I had a slightly similar instance where my mum’s alarm clock went off once . Batteries were still working but we couldn’t work out how it went off without the button being set. And also, it didn’t go off on a ‘significant’ date . So I don’t know what to think about that one.
Thirdly, thanks for the podcast recommendation! I have been enjoying Danny Robbins Uncanny so need something similar!

@Sapphire387. That’s lovely.

Thanks. I don’t like number one! But I do like number 2!

I'd LOVE to believe in an afterlife, but I'm just too much of a cynic. I think our brains fool us into seeing signs that aren't there.
But just because you don't really believe it, I see no harm in taking on a little sign that makes you stop and think of your loved one for a moment. In the case of when I lost my dad, shortly after I found out how he passed, I was driving home, just feeling awful, when I saw a rainbow. Now, whenever I see a rainbow, I take a moment to say hello to dad, and to think of him fondly of a moment.

Mostly though, like Keanu Reeves very elegantly said, "those who love us will miss us."

I’m heart and head too. The day after my mum died two magpies came and sat in the tree outside our kitchen window. It had never happened before and hasn’t since. It felt like she was telling me it was all right.

I think there is something. When I was a teen I lost my nana. I called round to her house most days and she would always tuck £1 in my pocket for the bus. A couple of days after she died I was walking to the bus stop and checking my pockets for change for the bus. I realised I didn’t have any and would have to go to the cash point and the shop for change. As I’m walking I see the bus coming and realise I’m not going to have time, I put my hands back into my pocket and suddenly there was a £1. I am absolutely convinced it was nana.
Also when I was younger we had a lovely priest at our local church. At his funeral service, a kestrel suddenly appeared and flew all around the rafters until someone opened the doors and let it out.

I’m with you mostly. Your rainbow appearance is lovely. I too saw one looking out my mum’s bedroom window the day after she died. But I am skeptical of the whole finding feathers / coins / butterflies thing … Though maybe I’m just envious as it hasn’t happened to me!

I find it very reassuring that one day I will no longer exist. No more worries or pain, no regrets, I'll just be nothing. Living forever sounds awful! The boredom, a never ending lockdown! And if I had to wait h over loved ones seeing them make mistakes or be in pain and not be able to offer advice or a hug, sounds like torture. And what are ghosts made from anyway!

No sounds terrible, thankfully there isn't a shred of evidence for it. Imagine your grandmother seeing every sordid thing you've done with your partner or alone! Shudder!

I was at my cousin's house with my mum. My cousin's mum (my aunt/my mum's sister) was there too. My Uncle (cousin's dad/Aunt's husband) had died....maybe 2/3 weeks prior. We were all sat round the kitchen table, chatting and looking at photo's when my cousin's landline rang.

She picked it up to answer it and we could all hear this really loud hissing/crackling noise come out of the receiver...my cousin nearly dropped the phone, as the noise was really loud, couldn't hear a voice so put the phone down.

She immediately did a 1471 and the number quoted was her mum's landline number. We all freaked because my aunt lived alone now that her husband had died so who the hell had got in to the property to make the phone call to my cousin?!!? We all belted round to Auntie's house but there was no-one there, it hadn't been broken into...all quiet. We all decided that it was my Uncle, trying to get through to them.

Totally true story.

My husband and his sister saw their late grandma. Their family is bit "weird", they have some supernatural skills (my husband sees aura, he hates Halloween because he's really struggling on this day etc.). I never believed this sort of stuff until he started telling me these things. He's genuine man, has very casual job (in IT, he's not magician or priest) and is very down to earth in every day life. I have no reason not to believe him. I don't know if it's blessing or curse that we don't disappear completely after we die in human form 😑

I quite like this idea too, I suppose an extension of that is when they are too long gone to be directly remembered by anyone.

Someone I know said this. This is actually what is called hell. Whatever bad things we did in our world got us sent here. After we have served our time we go back. I sort of get his thinking.

My OH died 2.5 years ago. I believe that his body is gone, but that everything that he did (good and bad) that impinged on those around him, alters those people in their attitudes and actions; then their actions alter those around them, so the, in some sense he carries on and always will.

The fact that people sense a person who has died around them for a while after their death is, I believe, simply caused by their brain having been programmed for so long to expect that person to be there that it takes a while to reprogramme. A bit like looking at the sun and being able to see its opposite colour for a little while when you look away.

I have no belief in the supernatural; and my OH was a scientist to his fingertips and no such beliefs either. My DD talked about the Law of Conservation of Matter at his funeral.