Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to believe in life after death

251 replies

Jezebell · 22/07/2022 10:19

Part of me really wants to believe in this. Part of me is cynical. I’m still grieving but comforted a little by hearing anecdotes where people’s lost loved ones visit somehow, in any form… Can anyone give any personal stories where they feel this might have happened?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
glasshouse · 24/07/2022 18:31

I did my Masters dissertation on visitation dreams. Dreams where the person believed that their loved one appeared to them. The main characteristics were that the dreams were more intense than normal dreams. I interviewed loads of people about their experiences and the dreams were most prevalent in the weeks after the death with most stopping after six months or so. Virtually everyone I interviewed found great comfort from the dreams and said it was a continuation of their relationship. I'm not sure I've had a visitation dream but am convinced my son has.

MsFannySqueers · 24/07/2022 18:56

I can tell you of my experiences OP. Shortly after my father died I was on my hands and knees, head down weeding the garden. I became aware of someone watching me. I glanced up and I did see my father standing in the garden. It only lasted a very brief moment and then he was gone. I was busy at the time not thinking about him in that precise moment. He visited me before passing on to somewhere else I believe. The PP mentioning the timescale in the occurrence of visitation dreams is interesting. I have had several of these extremely vivid dreams in which I saw my late mother. She died last year and although she had a long life I do still miss her terribly. She loved any chance of a trip out in the car. I have sensed her next to me in the passenger seat at times. Recently I had been feeling like my grief at losing her had somehow re intensified. I then had a dream where my mother came to talk me she looked vibrant and younger. She told me in no uncertain terms that ‘what had happened had happened’ and ‘you just need to get on with it’. I like to think she was a bit fed up with me being so miserable!

Jezebell · 24/07/2022 19:47

@MsFannySqueers Wow, thank you . Did the vision of your father in the garden look real? By that , he looked fully formed , not ghost like?
I totally understand the grief ‘re-intensifying’ you have suffered , it’s been a year for me. But sometimes it still feels like yesterday, and like your mum, I’m sure my would not approve of my misery! I have dreams of her but they definitely feel just like normal dreams. Apart from one I had just a couple of weeks after she passed. But no words were spoken.

OP posts:
MsFannySqueers · 24/07/2022 20:09

Yes @Jezebell my father looked just as he did when he was alive but obviously when he was fit and well. He didn’t look ghost like at all. He was wearing the sort of clothes he liked to wear and a gold neck chain that he always had on. Grief is hard isn’t it? It’s not linear. No matter how much we tell ourselves that our loved ones wouldn’t want us to be miserable.Or even get told not be miserable in a dream by your late mother 😌! I hope we can make our peace with it in time.

TiddyTidTwo · 24/07/2022 20:31

Omfg @MrsTerryPratchett

You've just nutshelled it!!! ❤️

CulturePigeon · 25/07/2022 11:11

I don't believe in life after death in any real, verifiable sense. But people do live on after their death in the hearts and minds of people who knew and loved them. This is why I like to talk about my mother, aunt and other relatives and also friends who've died.

I can often hear the voices of these people in my head because I knew them so well. I can hear my mum giving her opinion on many things! I don't mean this in a supernatural way, just that her character is so strongly impressed on my that I can imagine/predict just how she would react in almost any situation.

I'd love to believe in the continuation of consciousness after death and I'm always willing to listen to people's experiences (call them ghosts, or whatever) with an open mind. I'd love to see the 'ghost' of one of my departed relations! But really I think we only have this one life, and we should make the best we can of it, do as much good as we can and trust that we'll be remembered frequently with affection after our death.

Bubblegum88x · 25/07/2022 14:46

A psychic once told me this, makes sense sometimes when you think of all the horrible things that happen.
Check out Jason manford post yesterday about a strange thing his kid said, there are lots of stories from his fans about visits and signs from relatives who have passed.

thisisme2468 · 25/07/2022 18:29

When I was pregnant with my daughter I saw a medium. She talked a lot about my Dad passing and little messages from him but the bit that stuck with me was she said

“what does 16 December mean to you”
I said “nothing”
she said “remember that” and we moved on. All recorded on my phone.

my daughter (2nd child) was due 10th December. My son (1st child) had come a week early. I never told her when my child was due, not even the month. I assumed my daughter would come early too.

lo and behold my daughter arrived on 16 December at 12:50 am. Even my labour was longer than with my first child.

justoneday · 25/07/2022 18:31

I haven’t read all the posts as my loss is still very raw but I will over the next few days. I wanted to tell you about my BS stories. They are all absolutely true but before any of these happened I would have called BS on someone telling this as their story.

My mum passed away very suddenly 5 weeks ago today, we lived together so we were naturally very close.

The first sign I had was when the undertaker came, I took him to her bedroom and there was an orange butterfly on the end of her bed.

I was telling a friend about this and she works with terminally ill patients and said she sees this sort of thing all the time. She then said white feathers often appear from nowhere. I then pointed to a white feather floating past and said “Like this one?”

Two days later I was walking the dogs and I decided to go through a field so I could let them off. I made a detour to do this. Unfortunately as I arrived at the field, just in front was a lady and her dog that don’t like my dogs bounding up to her so I had to keep them on the lead. One dog stopped and watched something, I turned around and there was a deer running across the field and leapt over the wall. I have never seen a deer here before and don’t know where it came from. I since read that a deer is a message that they are free from pain (mum suffered from a bad back) when the deer had gone an orange butterfly flew past.

I needed to find her spare car key. I went upstairs and asked her. Then opened her little tin full of medication and there it was.

One day I was talking to a friend and broke down saying that I missed her. An orange butterfly flew past.

Since I was 13, we played a daft game of “dustbinmen”. In France they empty the bins daily and we used to want to be the ones that called dustbinmen first. The day of her funeral, we pulled up and the dustbinmen were at the crematorium. She was in the heats so would have seen it first.

That’s all I can think of now but there have been lots of little things to show me that she’s still here looking after me.

amusedbush · 25/07/2022 18:59

I don't believe in anything supernatural but last week I went to visit my granny for the first time since my grandad died. I saw a robin on the way to the train station (never seen one in the middle of summer before!) and people say "when robins appear, a loved one is near".

I don't genuinely believe it means anything but it was nice to imagine that my grandad was saying hello in that moment - it slightly softened the blow of seeing his empty armchair in the living room Sad

Riapia · 25/07/2022 19:14

So when I die will I get to be with all my family, forever?
An eternal Christmas Day?

Sounds like hell to me.

CherryRipe1 · 25/07/2022 19:17

Two freinds have seen smoke rise up from their deceased parents when they died. When my dad passed a potted plant that had never flowered in 15 years flowered then died. It was a most beautiful orange exotic bloom.

gatehouseoffleet · 25/07/2022 19:20

I don't know if I do want to believe in life after death. Well, not in heaven, anyway.

For one thing - how crowded is it going to be up there?

What happens if you see people you don't like? Like an ex-husband? Or Hitler? Or the person who murdered you turns up?

And what about aborted babies?

Oh no, I think the whole concept is ghastly.

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 25/07/2022 20:00

Yes, my father visits us (both me and my husband who he was close to as he became more sick) regularly. It’s always a red admiral butterfly, even in the depths of winter they appear! Several people know that I believe this and have been freaked out when they experience the phenomenon with me. He did a tour of our new house last week (literally flew in and went round each room 😂. My husband and I had been waiting for him since we moved (he used to be a builder so was bound to come want to look). I had just one really vivid dream where I just knew he is there! The feeling was indescribable. Then he got us a win on the races the other day, that was really funny!

I also had an ‘incident’ the other week where I was in the garage (use it as a gym) and I swore someone walked in behind me as I was bent down getting some equipment ready and I stood up and turned round to speak to them, but there was nobody there, but a feather on the floor when I turned back around. I don’t know who that was yet, but my grandmother passed recently, she was like my mum and I miss her terribly too. I don’t get visitation from her like I thought I would TBH, which makes me a little sad, I think she comes as a ladybird, but I can’t be sure yet that she isn’t the feathers or maybe it’s still a bit too early days for her just yet….. we will see!

I have been urged to get tarot cards though and ‘tap in’ to that sense as I am told I have abilities that I shut down, but need to learn to trust!

Rosieposy89 · 25/07/2022 20:13

@CherryRipe1 that reminds me of my when my Nan died, a bunch of flowers my parents were given refused to die and were eventually planted in the garden

CherryRipe1 · 25/07/2022 20:33

@Rosieposy89 Oh that's lovely 🌹 I really enjoy these stories.

appleblanket · 25/07/2022 21:02

I still have incredibly vivid visitation dreams about my grandparents and great grandmother whom I was very close with as a child and they passed away decades ago! It's usually at times when I'm stressed or just need reassurance, sometimes in the dreams they know they've passed on and other times I'm transported back to when I was a child and was at family gatherings which I find really comforting but then when I wake up, I get really sad. It's a bit bittersweet isn't it? You want to see and talk to them but when they do, it makes the pain come back because you miss them so much.

Anyway I've had lots of feathers drop down from nowhere, two robins fly through the house within days of each other which happened a week after my grandfather had passed (never before or again since), felt the bottom of my bed decrease as though someone was sitting on it but there was no one there, felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, a tickle on the top of my head... They've been countless over the years! There might be perfectly logical explanations for all of this but I think you can believe what you want to believe and if it brings you comfort then who is to say it's not real.

One other thing. My great grandmother who was in hospital during her last days, was so weak but kept trying to turn her body over to look at the chair in the corner. She kept saying my great grandfather was sat in the chair waiting for her (he had passed away some 50 years prior). She didn't believe in an afterlife or anything like that but I'll never forget the surprised and longing look on her face during those last few days she was with us.

Sending love to you OP ❤️

appleblanket · 25/07/2022 21:07

Oh and I'm not sure if you've seen it but I really love the film Ghost Town with Ricky Gervais, always find it comforting.

Thefoxsays · 25/07/2022 22:30

I believe, totally. I lost my mum unexpectedly, I was in my siblings house just standing up to leave & out of nowhere my phone started playing up, flashing on and off and not letting me press any buttons so I was trying to restart it & my sibling got a phone call to say our mum had deteriorated and they were moving her to ICU. This happened a few times over the next few days before important updates and on the night we were called to go and say our goodbyes I woke up and was looking at my phone before it rang. I knew before it rang that she was going. I can't explain it because it's not logical but I just knew. After she passed away I had a really vivid dream of her & 2 other family members who had died and she was in a van with only 3 seats.. I remember knowing they were dead and she said to me "you can't come with us, but don't worry, we'll keep you right." Which was something she said a lot in her life when I didn't know what to do "Ach don't worry I'll keep you right" I need to believe she is still around somehow looking after me.

girlfriend44 · 25/07/2022 22:55

gatehouseoffleet · 25/07/2022 19:20

I don't know if I do want to believe in life after death. Well, not in heaven, anyway.

For one thing - how crowded is it going to be up there?

What happens if you see people you don't like? Like an ex-husband? Or Hitler? Or the person who murdered you turns up?

And what about aborted babies?

Oh no, I think the whole concept is ghastly.

Exactly, no one answers those questions. I've also mentioned our pets etc and the wasp we killed. It's all abit far fetched.

maltloafandbutter · 25/07/2022 23:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Vincitveritas · 25/07/2022 23:09

See Jim Woodford on YouTube, he touches on some of these points. Also Ian McCormack's near death experience. Both very compelling.

maltloafandbutter · 25/07/2022 23:12

I forgot to say that when I had this visitation,the room was filled with a loud vibrating noise for the whole time he was with me .

fiddie · 25/07/2022 23:13

I've seen and spoken with spirits since I was tiny, and my dad is the same.

Perfectly normal to us. Even my mum believes now when I passed on a message from my aunt and described her unusual dress. I had been living overseas and had nothing to do with the funeral arrangements at all, and obviously had no idea what she was dressed in once she passed. I saw it when she visited me.

I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen the things I have but I find it really comforting.

I don't tell people in real life and only speak about it to one or two people I've known a very long time.

freakydeaky · 25/07/2022 23:15

@maltloafandbutter so sorry for your loss, your love shines through in your post 💐