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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I reported an aggressive Jehovahs Witness to the police….. AIBU?

173 replies

MistressoftheDarkSide · 22/07/2022 09:04

Long story short, my DP died in January after a three week illness - turns out his brain bleeds were caused by almost symptomless oesophageal cancer that had metastised to his lungs, liver and brain.

I’m still reeling but have no choice than to continue the retail business we started together to make ends meet - he had his own niche career and was well known locally- I have had a lot of support and although I feel as if life is utterly pointless I have family and friends who have also suffered so I try not to pile on the agony and pretend I’m more ok than I am (I’d love grief counselling but working full time makes it tricky).

My business is an alternative Gothic / witchy shop with lifestyle accessories because that was our lifestyle together.

Recently a young female Jehovah’s Witness - 25 - who was on our friends list on FB but who I don’t believe we ever met personally has kicked off because she claims we are Satanists. she doesn’t want to see Goth stuff on her feed and it’s wrong to promote our “Satanic beliefs” on the internet.

Actually we’re not Satanists (can’t believe I’m having to say that) and the social media I do is to promote our stock…..

She put up a comment on a business post that included the gem that God took my DP to punish him for his unGodly life, then it vanished before I could respond. So I didn’t do anything except have a vague moan, not naming her, on my personal feed.

She then started messaging me more of the same , told me I was possessed by the devil when I reacted very angrily (yeah, did get a bit feisty) and stupidly I engaged enough for her to tell me I’m going to hell, and I should hold my loved ones closer as their days would be numbered as God will punish me for my lifestyle and also that I will lose my business and everything cos…, God.

I’m a pretty tolerant person, but I saw red when she started this and did call her out publicly - my admittedly profane post was removed and I got a 24 hour ban.

I reported her to the police who may or may not make contact, but Victim support have been in touch, but what I really want is someone to have a word with her because:

if I was a different person I might have done something stupid - I’m angry and know everything she is spouting is offensive bollocks, but what if she targeted someone less robust? She claims (at the ripe old age of 25) to have saved 25 people from demonic possession….. is she targeting vulnerable people?

She sounds unhinged and may benefit from some intervention.

I know on one level I should not have engaged (over twice her age) but I don’t always have the capacity to think rationally especially around the subject of my DPs death, and implied “threats” to my future and the well-being of my family absolutely pushed my buttons.

The police have not yet made contact though I have given them my movements for three days as requested or they might phone?

AIBU?

Or am I just as bad as her?

OP posts:
Fluffygreenslippers · 22/07/2022 09:06

satanists don’t even worship satan. No, you’re not as bad as her, not even close. I’d do a lot worse and it would involve a bucket of pigs blood from the butchers.

JudgeRindersMinder · 22/07/2022 09:07

Firstly I’m so very sorry for your loss-that must have been such a shock on top of the heartbreak.
There won’t be much the police can/will do beyond “having a word”, but the advice would be to remove and block her from your SM-it really doesn’t sound like she’ll be a loss to either your private or business SM-no one, least of all someone who’s suffered a loss like you have, needs that kind of person around

RanchoPancho · 22/07/2022 09:10

There's nothing you can do but delete her, block her and not engage. She's an absolute cunt and I'm sure one day will be really mortified by what she's done but nobody else can sort her out.

I am so sorry for your loss and everything you've been through.

SandieCollins · 22/07/2022 09:11

Im sorry to hear about your husband, that sounds incredibly traumatic for you.

Regarding JW, my experience of working in mental health is that my patients were often hounded by JW, I suspect because of their vulnerability, some found it useful and stuck with it, quite a few engaged with it but afterwards we’re very angry with how they felt they’d been exploited and a lot just told them to F off.

Not sure that will help you at all but just wanted to say I hear you and I think you might be right about targeting vulnerable people.

justinhawkinsnavalfluff · 22/07/2022 09:11

Ex JW here. Firstly really sorry to hear about your loss. Please don't be too critical of yourself as you've had a difficult year. This girl is in a cult. She will be taught that your type of work channels the devil which is clearly claptrap. I'd block here on all social media and if necessary write to her local kingdom hall to ask them to address it. She will be scared of being hauled over the coals by the elders sadly because that's how their mind control works. Hope that helps

Soubriquet · 22/07/2022 09:12

I’m so sorry for your loss. Honestly, being a satanist is nothing compared to what some religions preach.

If I had to have a religion it would be Satanist.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 22/07/2022 09:12

Thank you both x

She has unfriended me - I really don’t understand why she didn’t just unfollow from the start - I haven’t blocked her on messenger yet - I think I’ve managed to shut her up for now but if she keeps going it’s more evidence of her instability although I’m not going to engage further having given my head a wobble.

Christ on a bike, I truly believe we have moved into the Upside down at the moment….

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 22/07/2022 09:14

this is what satanists preach if anyone is wondering

Pollydonia · 22/07/2022 09:14

I am incredibly sorry that this is happening to you, she sounds absolutely batshit crazy.
I am a Catholic and I love Gothy stuff, steampunk , dragons ect.
Please dont let this moron have any more of your headspace 💐

milkyaqua · 22/07/2022 09:18

I, too, am not a Satanist!

So sorry for your loss and for this to have been added on to it.

I had to speak to an elder to get the constantly visiting JW to leave me be. She sounds mentally very unwell and aggressive, regardless of how indoctrinated she has been, and should be stopped by all means. I would suggest contacting the JWs. No-one deserves to be persecuted and hounded as you've been.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 22/07/2022 09:20

Thank you all for sharing, especially the ex JWs - much appreciated x

Yes I’m going to “leave it alone” moving forward - it is the targeting of the vulnerable I find most despicable, and concerning.

I understand she’s been brainwashed to a degree, and have a smidgeon if compassion for her in that regard….

How do I find out where she may worship? I think I know roughly where she lives, do I just email every Kingdom Hall in the locale?

(Just had a vision of googling JW complaints department….)

She’s typed absolute screeds of stuff to me…. In the end I told her to stop her childish nonsense before she gave herself repetitive strain injury….. 🙄

OP posts:
RanchoPancho · 22/07/2022 09:20

Just block her. If she does message again and gives you "evidence" then it's unlikely you'll be able to do much with it and you'll have given her headspace for nothing.

I've had two unexpected bereavements in my life and I know how awful it is and all the bad feelings kind of swirl around your head until they attach themselves to specific people and situations, which then get much bigger in your mind than they would otherwise. This time last year you wouldn't be thinking about her nonsense at all, or you'd have made a joke about her with your lovely DP and that would be the end. Although you'll never forget your DP and have had an enormously stressful time, the anger will pass. She's a little person, don't get upset about the small things.

stealtheatingtunnocks · 22/07/2022 09:22

I am sorry for your loss, and hoping I can find your shop because it sounds marvellous.

thenewduchessoflapland · 22/07/2022 09:24

justinhawkinsnavalfluff · 22/07/2022 09:11

Ex JW here. Firstly really sorry to hear about your loss. Please don't be too critical of yourself as you've had a difficult year. This girl is in a cult. She will be taught that your type of work channels the devil which is clearly claptrap. I'd block here on all social media and if necessary write to her local kingdom hall to ask them to address it. She will be scared of being hauled over the coals by the elders sadly because that's how their mind control works. Hope that helps

The above are the reasons why I don't engage with JW along with the fact they cut off those who chose to no longer pursue their beliefs from their JW friends and family;that's not normal and definitely cult like behaviour also you have to ask questions when they send people door to door to try to recruit people to their cult as well.

Staffy1 · 22/07/2022 09:40

Soubriquet · 22/07/2022 09:14

this is what satanists preach if anyone is wondering

That doesn’t really explain what they preach or believe. All I’m getting from it is they seem to do good deeds while dressed in black.

justinhawkinsnavalfluff · 22/07/2022 09:42

Love the comment about repetitive strain injury! 🤣 I'd just try the most local Kingdom halls in your area. They should be able to locate her. We had to complain to our local one because someone kept writing preachy letter to my FIL who passed away and it really upset my MIL. It did get it sorted. I agree with your view that she needs some compassion as she's been indoctrinated but equally so do you. It's just common human decency to show some kindness when you are having a difficult time. Even if those are the thoughts in her head she should keep her warped nonsense to herself!!

CallOnMe · 22/07/2022 09:43

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pointythings · 22/07/2022 09:46

@Staffy1 here you go

These people are the good guys.

SexyLittleNosferatu · 22/07/2022 09:47

Very sorry for your loss.

I don't think you are remotely unreasonable (who the hell are the people who voted YABU???!!!). She sounds like an utterly vile individual hiding behind her "religion" to be an abusive bitch.

SexyLittleNosferatu · 22/07/2022 09:48

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You are telling a woman who has recently lost her husband and been subjected to messages telling her that her husband lost his life as "punishment" from some god that she is just as bad? You should be ashamed of yourself.

DFOD · 22/07/2022 09:49

What she is doing is likely illegal under malicious communications.

Also if you ask her to stop communicating and she continues two more times I understand that this is deemed harassment?

She sounds mentally unwell and obsessive maybe you should contact her organisation - for yourself but also as a safeguarding for her and others she may be harassing. Her organisation have a duty of care to her as well.

godmum56 · 22/07/2022 09:50

I am sorry for your loss (am widowed myself) and I know you have been caught at a vulnerable time but honestly social media is full of the unstable and the unhinged, JW don't have a monopoly. I get why in a weak moment you reacted but honestly what do you think the police or JW are going to do?
Stop giving this person head space, block her and refocus.

WudYouSayItInRealLife · 22/07/2022 09:53

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I don't understand why you didn't immediately report and block her too.

She sounds deranged.

OlympicProcrastinator · 22/07/2022 09:54

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Message deleted as it quotes a deleted post.

PrivateHall · 22/07/2022 09:54

OP I personally think you should block her, she could message you more poison at anytime. You don't need that in your life. Block her and try and move on from the whole disgusting thing. I don't see the point in 'reporting' her to JW as surely they will just be all 'nice one girl' to her? This is how they have taught her to behave sadly.