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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I reported an aggressive Jehovahs Witness to the police….. AIBU?

173 replies

MistressoftheDarkSide · 22/07/2022 09:04

Long story short, my DP died in January after a three week illness - turns out his brain bleeds were caused by almost symptomless oesophageal cancer that had metastised to his lungs, liver and brain.

I’m still reeling but have no choice than to continue the retail business we started together to make ends meet - he had his own niche career and was well known locally- I have had a lot of support and although I feel as if life is utterly pointless I have family and friends who have also suffered so I try not to pile on the agony and pretend I’m more ok than I am (I’d love grief counselling but working full time makes it tricky).

My business is an alternative Gothic / witchy shop with lifestyle accessories because that was our lifestyle together.

Recently a young female Jehovah’s Witness - 25 - who was on our friends list on FB but who I don’t believe we ever met personally has kicked off because she claims we are Satanists. she doesn’t want to see Goth stuff on her feed and it’s wrong to promote our “Satanic beliefs” on the internet.

Actually we’re not Satanists (can’t believe I’m having to say that) and the social media I do is to promote our stock…..

She put up a comment on a business post that included the gem that God took my DP to punish him for his unGodly life, then it vanished before I could respond. So I didn’t do anything except have a vague moan, not naming her, on my personal feed.

She then started messaging me more of the same , told me I was possessed by the devil when I reacted very angrily (yeah, did get a bit feisty) and stupidly I engaged enough for her to tell me I’m going to hell, and I should hold my loved ones closer as their days would be numbered as God will punish me for my lifestyle and also that I will lose my business and everything cos…, God.

I’m a pretty tolerant person, but I saw red when she started this and did call her out publicly - my admittedly profane post was removed and I got a 24 hour ban.

I reported her to the police who may or may not make contact, but Victim support have been in touch, but what I really want is someone to have a word with her because:

if I was a different person I might have done something stupid - I’m angry and know everything she is spouting is offensive bollocks, but what if she targeted someone less robust? She claims (at the ripe old age of 25) to have saved 25 people from demonic possession….. is she targeting vulnerable people?

She sounds unhinged and may benefit from some intervention.

I know on one level I should not have engaged (over twice her age) but I don’t always have the capacity to think rationally especially around the subject of my DPs death, and implied “threats” to my future and the well-being of my family absolutely pushed my buttons.

The police have not yet made contact though I have given them my movements for three days as requested or they might phone?

AIBU?

Or am I just as bad as her?

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 22/07/2022 09:55
Flowers YANBU. The unsympathetic PP upthread seems to have missed the fact that one of your reasons for contacting the police is because this person needs help. But the notion that the OP is 'as bad' as her harasser is just awful.
Pooet · 22/07/2022 09:56

I would prefer to be a Satanist than a Jehovah. Satanists would likely be more charitable and tolerant. So sorry for your loss, Oesphogeal CA is something I know about and it's so bewildering aggressive x

ErrolTheDragon · 22/07/2022 09:57

I don't see the point in 'reporting' her to JW as surely they will just be all 'nice one girl' to her?
I don't think they like their members bringing their organisation into disrepute, and afaik they will stop their doorsteppers if someone complains.

Pollydonia · 22/07/2022 09:58

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ODFOD 🙄

MistressoftheDarkSide · 22/07/2022 09:59

I hold my hands up to the fact I didn’t block her immediately however I am still not able to think rationally all the time so my bad …

As previously mentioned my concerns include the fact that she is possibly targeting the vulnerable and it could end badly.

Oh well, what is done is done….

Storm in a teacup in the grand scheme of things I guess, but thank you all so much for your support and input - very appreciated and comforting ❤️

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 22/07/2022 10:00

I'm sorry for your loss Flowers

Please block her on all social medias. I would have thought that this is advice that the police would have given you as well.

Herbaceousborder · 22/07/2022 10:01

You don't need any of this nonsense and there's always someone on social media who'll have bizarre views. Don't give them head space and just block them immediately. You don't need to be thinking about this let alone agonising over it. It's doubtful the police will do much about it.

PuckeredArseFace · 22/07/2022 10:02

So sorry for your loss
Strange that she didn't verbally attack your business when your husband was around
You've reacted to her behaviour, don't beat yourself up about it

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/07/2022 10:03

So sorry for your loss.

no, you are not as bad as her.

JW’s hounded my grandmother in her final years. They target and pray on the vulnerable and split families up. A dangerous cult that ought to be outlawed, imo.

Mischance · 22/07/2022 10:08

Block her.

mycatisannoying · 22/07/2022 10:09

What a fucking loon. Can you imagine being so filled with hate?
So sorry for your loss OP, and hope you're ok in the face of this nonsense Flowers

Hoppinggreen · 22/07/2022 10:11

I am very sorry for your loss and your Business sounds great!
This person is obviously mentally ill and has been targeted by a cult, they prefer vulnerable people
Nothing that has happened to you is your fault and you are most certainly not as "bad as her"
I think contacting the Police was the right thing to do and I hope she leaves you alone now.
If I was local and saw her rantings on FB or wherever it would actually make me MORE likely to visit your shop

starrynight21 · 22/07/2022 10:12

Look up your local JW Kingdom Hall JW and report her directly to them. They don't want bad publicity any more than any other organisation . I've had experience with JW person getting too pushy and the local organisers were very helpful , and got the person to stop.

MintJulia · 22/07/2022 10:16

YANBU. If she has an issue with your posts, her correct course of action is to leave the group, and block you personally if she feels the need.

Her actions are nasty, personal and amount to harassment. At the very least, her bigotry and unhinged actions towards someone she doesn't know, need flagging to the police, so when she does it to someone else, she can be prosecuted for harassment.

I'm sorry for your loss.

cookiecreammpie · 22/07/2022 10:16

You did the right thing. Even if there's legit reasons that may excuse her behaviour beyond her just being horrible, you only reported her to the police, which was the appropriate thing to do. You haven't harmed her or threatened her in any way. And I am very sorry for your loss.

crwnhgow · 22/07/2022 10:16

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No, OP is not as bad as scum who tells her her DP deservered to die and her loved ones days are numbered.

Unfortunately the police will probably do nothing, despite the fact this should really count as a threat.

ginghamstarfish · 22/07/2022 10:17

I have known some JWs for many years and can tell you this is not normal, and I'm sure that hounding anyone on social media would be very frowned upon. She just seems a bit unbalanced, and yes you should contact your local kingdom hall, and they will take it from there. They will be unhappy that she is behaving in this way and bringing them into disrepute. They are decent and nice people in my experience, yes it can be annoying to have them at your door, but they truly believe it is their duty to tell others about the word of God, make of that what you will.

SpookyButTrue · 22/07/2022 10:18

The irony of her doing this to you! The least Christian things she could say to you. I would go to the police with this too.

RJnomore1 · 22/07/2022 10:19

They do target the vulnerable and recently bereaved.

however what she has said is incredibly far from JW doctrine - they do not believe in hell nor do they believe that sickness and death are a result of an individuals actions in this life. Report to the nearest congregation you can find, they will talk to the one she is a member of if it’s not the same one.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 22/07/2022 10:26

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Mistress, and agree that you're doing the right thing in simply blocking her - there's little to be done with cultists except ignoring them, and I doubt a complaint to Kingdom Hall would be effective, since after all they're infested with the same beliefs

Speaking of cults though, it's disturbing to see Satanists described as "the good guys". Read a little further and you'll discover that the window dressing is a hook to draw in the hugely naive and is actually a cover for something very different

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 22/07/2022 10:29

sorry for your loss, you are not unreasonable to call the policed she sounds like a nutter.

loislovesstewie · 22/07/2022 10:31

I'm sorry for your loss; my DH also died in January, suddenly but peacefully as they say, I understand that you feel very vulnerable and quite frankly I don't blame you one bit for your response. I would write to the elders and tell them exactly what this obnoxious person has said. Make it plain that you will hold THEM responsible if the comments continue; she needs to be told that her behaviour does her 'faith' no favours and SHE should repent. Block her and have no more to do with her.

Mulhollandmagoo · 22/07/2022 10:32

She put up a comment on a business post that included the gem that God took my DP to punish him for his unGodly life

😦this is absolutely disgraceful! I'm so sorry! I second others saying find your local JW and report her.

MyneighbourisTotoro · 22/07/2022 10:34

I’m so very sorry for your loss, my husband has cancer and although can’t say I can relate to your pain right now I do understand how hard it is seeing your partner so unwell. I hope you do find some time for counselling or to find something to help you grieve and process what has happened.

I follow the same/similar lifestyle as yourself, I’ve been called a satanist (even though it has nothing to do with the devil anyway) and I’ve had some awful run ins with JW and I got very angry with one once and it did not end well as I ended up losing my temper with them but it’s because they tried to speak to my young children over me.

I would have reported her for harassment as well, moving on I would block her from everything and just do my best to carry on. You can’t blame yourself for your reaction, anyone would have reacted in the same way if confronted with such abhorrent words. I really am sorry again for what you’ve been through and how this woman has made you feel.

ThinkingaboutLangClegosaurus · 22/07/2022 10:34

justinhawkinsnavalfluff · 22/07/2022 09:11

Ex JW here. Firstly really sorry to hear about your loss. Please don't be too critical of yourself as you've had a difficult year. This girl is in a cult. She will be taught that your type of work channels the devil which is clearly claptrap. I'd block here on all social media and if necessary write to her local kingdom hall to ask them to address it. She will be scared of being hauled over the coals by the elders sadly because that's how their mind control works. Hope that helps

Good idea. Her behaviour really is vile ans should be stopped.

OP, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your friends are rallying round.

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