Get married !! If you are the poorer half

[Lindasllama]

Have read so many different threads on here this evening and still women are putting themselves in such a precarious position..

if your earning power will diminish once pregnant.. if you are /will be reliant on your 'D' P for financial stability when child arrives . Why haven't you both signed that legal contract called marriage ?

I honestly believe this stuff should be taught in schools to empower women to make their own well informed choice before they screw their later lives looking after kids - ending up far poorer than their children's fathers .

If you are the higher earner. Own your own home , have independent income .. then this question does not apply. Only interested in the thoughts of those who will be screwed if DP fucks off and will leave you screwed .

Well, I was about to post in support but clearly the last sentence means I am not wanted here...so bye I guess.

Totally the advice I would to my daughter, which is all well and good, except I have informed my son what a failed marriage could cost him and I think he’s put off for life.

Are you advocating getting married for financial security? Getting married doesn't achieve this, you just get to pay for an expensive divorce and will still have a diminished earning potential.

Im divorced have my own house, car, job, brought my child up as a single parent, and lost earning potential. I have my son, now a handsome, successful adult, priceless.

And if you are the rich one don't get married!

I think the differences in legal status for cohabitation v marriage/CP should be required SRE topic.

OK, it might not perfectly and durably inform everyone, but it will make knowledge of the differences more widespread (even if that's only to the extent that there are important differences) and that would still be an advance on where we are now

In the divorces I know the woman has
Been the winner so I'd agree with the above

No marriage no rights

It isn't right but it's true.

Marriage does not offer the protection that people think it makes it more difficult to navigate the escape.

I always find it funny on mumsnet that there is an image that marriage gives you this amazing financial security.
It will give you a higher proportion of the equity in the shared home and access to spouses pension. However if you split having given up your career for a man then you are still in a precarious position even with a marriage certificate. There are so many threads here telling women who have been at home for 10 years that now the husband has left they need a job.
Spousal support is not a thing in this country except in some very high earning situations.

How so?

Strange post but I agree women should have financial independence.
I can't ever imagine leaving my financial security to a man .

My abusive ex tried to force me to marry him

Very glad I escaped before he put the full pressure on

Haven't read the full thread. I am the lower earner of the two but with the support of my family, hired help and a hands on DH, managed to keep my career going and earn a comfortable salary. If he buggers off I won't be able to support my current lifestyle alone. However if he pays all the school fees and other costs related to the kids, I can comfortably support myself.

DH however said if that were to happen, everything will be split 50:50. I don't think this is right as most of our assets are due to his earnings. I also know the person you are divorcing will not be the person you are married to

Strongly disagree! Teach your daughters to be financially independent and support social services so that women have access to family planning and reproductive healthcare. Fund anti poverty measures so that women who are or may become single mothers aren't forced to choose between staying with a man or abject poverty and teach financial literacy so that women with assets know how to protect them if they choose not to get married.

Yes x one million

This only applies if there are assets to divide. A SAHM or part time working woman on a low wage won’t benefit from marriage if the property is rented and the husband is on an average wage (or self employed as no pension). On MN every husband is on 6 figures and there are several properties and investments to split on divorce but this isn’t true for the vast majority of people. Plus you’ll still need to get a job after divorce and being out of the workforce for years or never having had more than odd jobs will make this harder, married or not. Plus divorce costs money itself! Better to look after your own financial independence and earning capacity.

Prior to getting a marriage license you should have to complete a course to ensure you fully understand the legal perimeters of what marriage actually is and how it can impact you in different scenarios!

It’s only relevant if there only assets to split and more to the point it’s only relevant if you have the money to Lawyer up and ensure that you receive your share of those assets.

one piece of advice that I did not know of is it if you can’t afford a lawyer, he has to pay for yours or it needs to come out of the family pot, But you should never sign a decree absolute until you physically have the cash and much as a judge might frowned upon one party emptying the joint account and order for it to be paid back, the actual reality of enforcing that is absolutely impossible. So get in first.

What if you earn 3x what your bf earns and own a home when he doesn't?

Ditto if you're not seeking marriage, so you know what the legal standing of cohabitation is (or should that be 'isn't'?)

My advice to my girls will be not to need to rely on a partner for financial security. There is no need in todays society. Giving up a career or having a year on ML is a choice and a luxury. Go out and study and earn your own money then you won't need to rely on marriage 🤔

Clue is in the title.

Then you are hardly the poorer half, as per thread title!!

This

There are plenty of married women on here with a tight as fuck husband who still doesn’t share his wealth.

Marriage is not a fool proof plan for financial protection.

Isn’t it obvious? It’s a lot easier to leave someone who is abusive if you’re not legally bound to them. Not easy, just easier.