Does it sound like my DS has ASD?

[Yellowfloral]

He was a really early with his speech, his speech and vocabulary is really advanced now (at 4) for his age.

His current obsession is with numbers, he’s very competent with numbers, adding and subtracting. He spends a lot of time counting. He wants to count everything.

He doesn’t appear to have problems socially as far as I’m aware, he’s always had plenty of friends and likes to play with other children. Even children he doesn’t know at the park for example. He’s certainly not what I would call shy.

His pre-school teacher has flagged up that he struggles to make eye contact with the adults. But I’ve never noticed that, unless he’s different in the classroom than at home/in other social situations.
They’ve also said he needs support in simple tasks in the classroom (tidying up etc)

Anyway, I don’t know what to think.
His academic ability is advanced for his age, there’s no particular issue socially or with his speech (in fact he doesn’t stop talking)

But the pre school seem to think there’s something going on.

He is quite sensory seeking, he likes to put things into his mouth and rub things on his face. He’s not keen on hand driers but he’s getting more accepting of them now.

He’s beginning to be less fussy with food and trying more things.

He’s not keen on riding his bike or scooter but he loves running, walking, climbing and soft play.

Rather than asking us, visit the various autism charity websites and have a look at their advice docs.

I don't mean that in a dismissive way (I have a diagnosed daughter myself and she can certainly make eye contact) but random Mumsnetters can't diagnose your son!

Try working with him on the stuff the pre school have mentioned and see what you think.

A useful book is 'Smart But Scattered'.

Try the CAST, ICT, and Q-CHAT screening questionnaires under the Autism section on this link. psychology-tools.com
They're not diagnostic, but they are recognised screening tools by reputable institutes, and could help you clarify some thoughts.

Also what was he like early development wise.

Look up the Triad of Impairments. This is what a Dr would look at to decide if your child should be assessed.

If pre school have flagged things, then I would press on with referring him so that you have answers/he gets support.

Early years staff are not experts, but they see enough children of the same age, at the same time, to notice when something is outside of the “norm”, so their opinions should be taken seriously.

His dad is really adamant he’s just bright. To add his dad his similar in interests and has a maths/science brain. His dad (my son’s grandpa) is similar, but he was a university professor and has managed in life with a family and travel etc.

OK, you could well have ASD in the two generations above then! My DH (very bright, Cambridge, gainfully employed etc) meets all the same criteria DD does but no-one had any idea about any of this in the 70s.

He didn't have the huge struggles with emotional regulation DD does though to was able to "fit in" more easily.

I suggest a 'this approach could make life easier for DS' might go down better with family members who will react strongly to mentions of "conditions".

Nothing to stop you reading up and adopting helpful approaches.

@BlackeyedSusan

Can you give examples please? In what you mean by early development.

I don't see anything particularly concerning there. I could have written most of that about my 4 year old and it's never occurred to me to think about ASD.

If I were you I'd keep an eye on it and see how things pan out.

sorry, it was a bit run through thread wihile getting teen off to school.

Early development:
did he lift his arms to be lifted up,
did he wave goodbye to people when little (neither of mine did, both autistic. it was on the form for the youngest when they were getting assessed and I remember thinking my oldest never did it either, which came in useful when she was assessed a decade later!)
unusual facination with light I think was mentioned

routine stuff: playing with toys in an unusual way. (mine liked wheels on toys, and the pushchair. likeed waving a coat hanger back and forth, lining up toys, is another. has to do stuff in a certain order. eg cup filled to the same point, certain colour of cup/spoon/plate.

observe behaviour in different environments: mine had a meltdown in primark under the flickerin fluorescent light, but calmed down once outside. same with noise. behaviour deteriorated in noisy environment, calmed down with quiet.

as a baby, terrified of carrier bag noises.

This. Autism isn't diagnosed using 'traits'.

dd was similar, turns out she is autistic.

the thing is though you need enough evidence of difference, or difficulty to get an assessment at all. if we had taken dd at the same age as ds it would have been dismissed. I probably was in denial for a couple of years too, as she was supposed to be the NT one and was different presentation to the more usual boy presentation. (the echolalia was spectacular. )

My DS met all of those milestones and didn't have any unusual play methods, excluding lying down to play with his trains to watch the wheels etc, but I have seen many pre school age boys do that so I don't think that counts. He lifted his arms to be picked up at 7 months, was waving, clapping and pointing all before 13 months. No meltdowns.

He is on the ASD / ADHD pathway now, age 6.5. I wish I'd listened to his pre-school as he would have a diagnosis by now if I had, not be at the bottom of a 2+ year waiting list.

current triad: communication and social
sensory
routine based stuff.

I suggest looking at some descriptions of how autsim presents in young children. You might miss stuff as it is your normal. You might notice more when he goes to school.

One of mine was a nightmare in the supermarket but I did not really notice as that was my normal.

one like walking up and down next to the fence in the school yard. I did notice that one.

@BlackeyedSusan

To be honest I can’t remember about the lifting arms up, I’m pretty sure he did. And I’m pretty certain he would wave goodbye.

He did have a fascination with lights as a baby/toddler though.

He occasionally lined stuff up and still does now sometimes. But not always. He can do imaginative play now.

He didn’t crawl, but he pulled himself up into walking very quickly.

So I really don’t know.

@Summersummersun
They all present so differently don't they? One of mine was really obvious, one wasn't. I wish I had persued the autism that was suggested in preschool as well. It was dismissed as she was hypermobile as well.

Can I ask what does a diagnosis achieve?

He’s confident, sociable, able and happy.

I’m not being flippant, just trying to work out.

legal protection.

if it is a good school they will give accomodations just for how he behaves without a diagniosis. these schools are rare as hens teeth. (but depends on kids behaviour as the same school can give help for one but not another if they have fixed ideas about autism, or parents, or one kid is quietly autistic and not an overt problem to them)

with a diagnosis they are much more likely to give support. It may be one size fits all autism support but better than no accomodations and more detentions than there are days to do them.

some schools are really shit. if you get in a shit school. move your kid. it will not change unless the head changes. even then it might not change. (i could not move mine as the other parent would not agree. )

It's an absolute minefield @BlackeyedSusan. My DS may end up having ADHD, or dyspraxia rather than ASD, but he is certainly not neurotypical, I'm sure of it. And he definitely has some social communication/interaction issues, he doesn't do too well with certain authority figures, in school for example.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it! At the time I was very much of the view that preschool staff aren't experts (and they're not) but I think to raise issues with parents, it means they see "something", and it's so much easier to see differences when observing a large group of peers. That's the main time I notice my DS' differences (subtle, no one else probably does) now; when he's at parties or clubs etc.

He might be now
My son was but the shit really hit the fan when he started high school and the differences became far more apparent.
It was mentioned to me in year 2 but I didn't pursue it and he only got his diagnosis at 14 after dropping out of school altogether and being under CAMHS for making threats to his own life.
I kick myself for not getting the support in place earlier.

He was also similar to your son. He was a maths whizz. Taught himself to read before starting nursery and could count up to 100 in Spanish, French and German at 4.

@ofwarren

That sounds difficult.

What sort of differences showed up at secondary?