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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this give you the "ick" aibu?

126 replies

andlle · 19/07/2022 22:59

I've been on two good dates with a guy.
Yesterday was his day off and today
He sent me pics of him sunbathing in his garden.
Then said he was off to York (we are from Newcastle)
Within 45 minutes he sent me a pic of him in a pub in York ...only thing was in this picture he had a big coat on
I thought it's 30 degrees and your wearing that.
Then later in the day he sent videos of the pub etc ..and I noticed everyone was dressed in more warmer clothes (coats,hats etc )
He was obviously sending me videos /pics from months ago pretending to be there...
Then a few hours later he sent me a pic of his legs sunburnt in his back garden (but he was apparently wearing jeans in York )

This is odd isn't it?

OP posts:
BalloonsAndWhistles · 25/07/2022 06:06

This is odd and, given it’s only been two dates, I’d been looking elsewhere if I were you. It makes a funny weird story for the future though 😆

drawacircleroundit · 25/07/2022 06:38

This is really odd. Are you sure he wasn’t doing it as a joke, poking fun at the sort of bloke who would do that?
That’s how you could raise it with him. “So funny, those photos you sent me! When were they actually from? I had a friend at school who would do fake her feeds all the time…” etc etc

Redburnett · 25/07/2022 07:16

I think he is taking the piss and seeing just how much you will believe, in order to humiliate you later by pretending it was a joke. Block and move on.

Meatshake · 25/07/2022 07:27

Have a look at the metadata on the photo to see when the image was created?

www.alphr.com/view-metadata-photo/ there's a guide on this website for both iPhone and Android.

LaddieCthulu · 25/07/2022 07:32

If you don't call him on it he will think you're a mug. Not that this matters if you're going to stop speaking to him. But I would absolutely call it out.

dawngreen · 25/07/2022 07:36

Sounds like a dumb player to me.

Sswhinesthebest · 25/07/2022 07:48

Absolutely confront him then finish with him.

IamnotSethRogan · 25/07/2022 07:58

Was us definitely 30 degrees in York ? Where I was yesterday the weather was rainy and pretty cold and where my friend was it was 27 degrees and hot

IamnotSethRogan · 25/07/2022 08:01

Could of been coat and jean weather in York yesterday and he could have had the sun burn from before /after 🤷‍♀️

Would this give you the "ick" aibu?
Kiitos · 25/07/2022 08:17

IamnotSethRogan · 25/07/2022 07:58

Was us definitely 30 degrees in York ? Where I was yesterday the weather was rainy and pretty cold and where my friend was it was 27 degrees and hot

It was 40 on Tuesday. I was there!

crochetmonkey74 · 25/07/2022 08:21

I would also call him out on it too then walk away

madasawethen · 25/07/2022 08:37

He sounds like a boring drunk.
I'd have slapped that block and delete hard.

diddl · 25/07/2022 08:45

Is he young & trying to impress?

Even so he's failing!

Might have to make a comment about not realising it had been so cold but that's it.

Staynow · 25/07/2022 08:56

Smacks of very low self esteem - why else would he have to pretend he is going places that he's not? People with very low self esteem do not make good partners, I wouldn't take this any further. I wouldn't call him out as such, just ask why everyone is wearing coats and hats when it's really hot, then tell him you're not feeling it, wish him good luck and move on.

BreatheAndFocus · 25/07/2022 09:13

Yes, low self esteem, but that can be dangerous. I was mislead and felt sorry for someone who lied like this. I excused it because I thought he was socially anxious and lacked confidence. In reality, he was a narcissist.

I’d ask him about the photos and then dump him unless he has a really good explanation.

Galvanisethis · 25/07/2022 09:17

Staynow · 25/07/2022 08:56

Smacks of very low self esteem - why else would he have to pretend he is going places that he's not? People with very low self esteem do not make good partners, I wouldn't take this any further. I wouldn't call him out as such, just ask why everyone is wearing coats and hats when it's really hot, then tell him you're not feeling it, wish him good luck and move on.

I think this is what I'd do. Don't waste any more time.

amusedbush · 25/07/2022 09:20

IamnotSethRogan · 25/07/2022 08:01

Could of been coat and jean weather in York yesterday and he could have had the sun burn from before /after 🤷‍♀️

It wasn't yesterday, the OP posted on the 19th July.

BeggarsMeddle · 25/07/2022 09:21

@Snowraingain - brilliant!

I wondered what I'd do in OP's place. Think I might have been tempted to call his bluff and reply after a time (allowing for 'getting there'), "Surprise! I'm in York!! Whereabouts are you? Let's meet up!!" All hyper-excited.

RealBecca · 25/07/2022 09:23

I would just dump him with no explanation. Consider it a gift to the next girl he tries lying (badly) to as he will prob do the same to her.

Isaidnoalready · 25/07/2022 09:50

IamnotSethRogan · 25/07/2022 08:01

Could of been coat and jean weather in York yesterday and he could have had the sun burn from before /after 🤷‍♀️

Op was written on the 19th

DrEmilleShofhousen · 25/07/2022 10:23

A lie is a lie is a lie. Run a mile from any type of liar.

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 25/07/2022 10:24

I wouldn’t continue with someone who was so odd as to make stuff up like that. I would however have some fun beforehand. See how far he’s prepared to take the lie.

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 25/07/2022 10:36

He’s somewhat dim isn’t he?

FarFarFarAndAway · 25/07/2022 10:49

I've had a couple of guys turn quite nasty on online dating, including one who made a new account to insult me. For this reason, I wouldn't say anything once I'd sussed this person, I'd just say 'sorry, I'm not feeling it, thanks for the dates' and move on. Having 'fun' with people sounds like a great idea if the other person is harmless, but you really don't know that with online dating, and my instincts are always be polite but remove yourself. Some men are harmless, the odd one is not, just say no thanks and block.

oakleaffy · 25/07/2022 10:51

@andlle
A Lying Walter Mitty is the last thing you need... Move on .
Always listen to your inner voice..It's never wrong in my experience. :)

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