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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this give you the "ick" aibu?

126 replies

andlle · 19/07/2022 22:59

I've been on two good dates with a guy.
Yesterday was his day off and today
He sent me pics of him sunbathing in his garden.
Then said he was off to York (we are from Newcastle)
Within 45 minutes he sent me a pic of him in a pub in York ...only thing was in this picture he had a big coat on
I thought it's 30 degrees and your wearing that.
Then later in the day he sent videos of the pub etc ..and I noticed everyone was dressed in more warmer clothes (coats,hats etc )
He was obviously sending me videos /pics from months ago pretending to be there...
Then a few hours later he sent me a pic of his legs sunburnt in his back garden (but he was apparently wearing jeans in York )

This is odd isn't it?

OP posts:
VeniVidiWeeWee · 20/07/2022 01:29

Anyone who uses the word "ick" is unreasonable.

Vikinga · 20/07/2022 01:40

He's lying. And what a stupid way to lie. It is quite insulting that he thinks you're going to believe that.

Annoyedwithmyself · 20/07/2022 01:49

Just shows he's not much of a thinker OP. And not very honest. Even if he was in the same pub and thought 'I took a great pic last time, I'll send her that to impress her ' then he didn't think it through. You can do better.

Holly763 · 20/07/2022 01:50

I rekon he's done this to try and impress you to seem interesting and "busy" to win you over. He wouldn't of done this if he didn't like you BUT it's still really off putting and I'd call him out and tell him straight this behaviour is unattractive. Either way it's a red flag.

IDreamOfTheMoors · 20/07/2022 01:52

@andlle

Maybe it was Big Coat Day at the pub. You know how those guys love a good laugh.

And maybe he’s freaking out because he’s met a darling, sweet and intelligent woman and has taken a liking to her and is struggling with how to make a good impression. Stranger things have happened, amirite?

I struggle too, sometimes. And it’s not like I’ve never told a stupid lie about myself.

If you like him, ask him. Please don’t let a bunch of strangers — no matter how well-intentioned they are — make up your mind for you, okay? Just ask him.

Kerrrmieee · 20/07/2022 01:56

That's not an ick - that's a major red flag.

I would have to call him out on it before I told him I wouldn't be seeing him again. Maybe he'll learn not to treat women like idiots.

PinkyFlamingo · 20/07/2022 02:25

What's so hard about saying something? 🤔

xyzabchij · 20/07/2022 02:29

So weird.

But also sending constant pics is a bit odd too!!

cds5163 · 20/07/2022 02:31

Red flag. Who knows what other egregious lies he'd make up. He seems like a loser and you can certainly do better.

DockOTheBay · 20/07/2022 02:39

homarr · 19/07/2022 23:29

Text him "why the hell are you wearing a coat in 30 degree heat 😂😂". Try and make it sound jokey and see what he comes back with. Let us know please!

I was going to suggest this too. Once you've got a crazy explanation then dump him

SheSaidHummingbird · 20/07/2022 03:21

More to the point, why is he sending you all these photos of himself? That would turn me off. Why does he need constant attention?

But, trust your instinct.

StoneofDestiny · 20/07/2022 03:50

Run for the hills........

kateandme · 20/07/2022 04:31

Makes me feel really sorry for him.that he has thus little confidence.
But if it was done to me I wuldnt like it.

SpaceGoatFarm · 20/07/2022 05:38

Oh my lord juet get rid of him for being a geordies who drinks in york, they're the bane of my existence.

girlmom21 · 20/07/2022 06:15

He's a liar, and a bad one. Get rid.

FabFitFifties · 20/07/2022 06:24

I'd actually be reluctant to give him any clues, as to how not to be found out in future. I'd just say " you are not in York" and block.

Grimoven · 20/07/2022 06:43

This is hilarious! I'd just feed it for my own entertainment.
Does he send photos of himself holding a massive carp or a sedated tiger by any chance?🤣

ApolloandDaphne · 20/07/2022 06:49

I would just casually ask 'were you not warm in the pub dressed like that?' and see what he says. I would not continue to see someone who can casually lie so easily.

georgarina · 20/07/2022 06:51

I couldn't not say anything tbh.

'Nice outfits for 40 degrees 😂' and see what he says.

vroom321 · 20/07/2022 06:57

He's clearly not used to lying as he would have made a better job.

Maybe he's lonely / doesn't go out much and he wants you to think he has friends and is fun.

vroom321 · 20/07/2022 06:58

I'd have to mention it though

KangarooKenny · 20/07/2022 06:58

Run away from this one, he’s a liar.

Missisipihallelujah · 20/07/2022 07:01

I would be put off by his lack of intelligence, in not anticipating your seeing through his stunt! Also, cant understand why he needs to send you photos in the first place?

TheLoftHatch · 20/07/2022 07:04

Yes...it's not too late to see how he responds. Just say, 'so tell me, were you really in York yesterday?' And when he says yes and why, ask about the coat.

From my point of view, he might just be really immature and trying to 'impress' you with tales of mates in the pub etc. Bit of an idiot but not necessarily a pathological liar. However, if he maintains the lie or gets angry/gaslights you etc, then that's everything you need to know right there.

Marvellousmadness · 20/07/2022 07:09

I dont think you understand what the "ick" means.

But what this guy does is lying. So stop hanging out with this pathetic man.

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