Friends didn't "tip"....bit tight?

[tvsavec]

Me and three friends went to a little family run Greek restaurant.
The bill came to around £80 for four of us.
At the end of the meal
Friend 1 put £2 on the table and I also put £2
Friend 3 said "is that for a tip"
We said yeah.....she shouts for the waiter and hands him the £4 and says thanks
They didn't bother to put a couple of pound in each

Aibu to think it's a bit tight?

It may sound discriminatory but it’s true. Certain cultural groups don’t tip in there culture and they don’t tip when they travel generally and when people are earning 4 pounds a hour that will affect how they behave towards those people when the bulk of their wages is coming from tips. I served who I got because I also saw it was not particularly pleasant but it was how it was and the waiters bolted when they heard specific accents at the door because they knew they would work those tables for no extra money to that 4 pounds an hour. So whatever you think about that this is how human nature is I’m afraid. When you are struggling to get by a table that will leave 0 versus one that will leave 10 to 15 pounds is very different and waiting staff get good at identifying who is who. So until serving staff get paid a fair hourly rate that’s not going to change. I don’t eat out when I can’t afford to tip 10 percent in the uk or 20 percent in the USA. I just get take out instead. Yes I judge people who don’t tip . It’s cheap. If you can afford to eat out you can afford to tip for service because it’s a cultural expectation in the uk and the USA the countries I eat out in. It’s fine don’t tip but expect people to judge you for sure and I expect people who don’t tip are perfectly fine with that.

I’d rather judge the shitty employers paying their staff £4 an hour (apparently) and then pointing the finger at paying customers for why they’re not earning more money.

tipping only serves to prop up this culture of low pay. I’d rather pay more for food, knowing the staff are on a higher basic wage, and not tip at all

I don't tip in shops so I don't tip anyone is very strange logic

How so ?
If you are saying that customers should subsidise / top up the wages of staff who work in NMW or NLW jobs, then why don't you believe that should be the case for everyone you encounter across the week who works in similarly low paid employment ?
If you are going to trot out the next catchphrase of it being "a personal service", then do you stuff a fiver into the pocket of the EY practitioner you pick your child up from at the end of every day ? As I would say that is far more personal / important the person gets it right, than the person who carries some plates from the kitchen to the table.
Or, if you don't have a child in Nursery, do you rush over to your parents' house to tuck a note into the pocket of the carer who comes and gets them up and washes them each day and helps them to the toilet then later puts them to bed? As it doesn't get more personal than that, but I never see anyone on these threads saying they do that every day.

I don't tip but if I enjoy a meal, I go back and take my friends and family there,
which is worth much more.

maybe to the company that owns the restaurant, but not your serving staff, they’d definitely prefer the tip!

And?

I go to restaurants to enjoy the food and drink, not to keep random waiters and waitresses happy

The easy way to solve this issue would be to make the employer pay more, so you’re not subject to people’s ‘cultural expectations’.
It’s the culture in the U.S because it’s literally the law that servers make below min wage.
It’s not in the U.K.
Maybe your restaurant was one full of tourists and everyone expected extra £££ but you were paid min wage same as everyone else on a similar job.

Also @chiweenie you donrealise that even the non tipping people pay your wages right. In the price of the food

What if you've only got a ten or twenty pound note? No way would I leave a £20
tip just from me!

then you give your server the note and ask for £x change, and tell them to take the rest as a tip, it’s hardly rocket science!

And?

I go to restaurants to enjoy the food and drink, not to keep random waiters and waitresses happy

And……..
the discussion is about tipping waiting staff. You said if a meal is good then you will go back with family or friends, which is “worth more”. Worth more to who?

it certainly isn’t worth more than tipping to the waiting staff! I’m pretty sure
think they’d rather you didn’t return, if you don’t tip.

I’m pretty sure think they’d rather you didn’t return, if you don’t tip

This is a myth, in the main. Most people on this thread who have worked in the industry have said a tip isn't expected, a nice bonus, but not expected.

I know my colleagues and friends working in hospitality definitely judge someone who is rude, dismissive and seems to look down on staff, however. They would rather these people didn't return!

My Grandad is an embarrassment to go out with. Makes condescending comments to the poor staff, who have to bite their tongues and pretend they're grateful for his tip.

This is a great point, no one wants a tip as kind of “payment” for poor behaviour from customers

It wasn’t me who made that comment

I did say I think tipping is propping g up employers who underpay their staff so I don’t tend to do it u less I’ve had exceptional service.

And I know we live in an age of having to consider the feelings and happiness of everyone who passes us on the street over our own, but I don’t really give the waiting staff, and what they think of me, a second thought

I waitressed throughout Uni, I don’t remember so much contention around tipping, but I agree with a PP and it’s worth much more to staff if you’re pleasant and courteous. That’s worth more than a tip - at least it was to me when I worked in the industry

Why didn't you make sure the restaurant dish washers, cleaners, chef's assistants, etc got a tip? Bit tight, or you don't think it's your responsibility to top up everybody's wages?

Ok so in the place I worked the chefs earned more than double what the servers earned. The bar staff- we all tipped them 10% of what we made each shift to top them up. If the shift was quiet I requested to go home because frankly I was not willing to work for 4 quid an hour- I depended on those tips to pay my rent and bills and college tuition at the time.

Look I think people who don't tip 10% are unreasonable and cheap to boot and I will leave a tip on their behalf if I see they haven't because it is so utterly cringey to eat a meal and not leave 105 because the cultural norm is to tip waiting staff if they wait on you in the UK and US- not if it is a buffet that is different but is just a cultural norm so if you have not learned that norm then either you have not gone out much or you are a bit cheap and tight - so just own up to that.

Very off-putting in a person as it speaks about the generosity of their spirit full stop- so that is why people are getting offended because they are being called out on it here. Then they say it is their principles....yeah right. You just won't pony up unless you have to and you are about 10 % of the population.

To be fair to your friends the norm is Greece may be 5%( I am not sure so they may have innocently thought you guys covered it so I would hold back judgment on that situation unlike in the UK where everyone know if you go out for dinner you leave as close to 10 % of the total of the bill and if in the USA more like 18-20%)

Ok so in the place I worked the chefs earned more than double what the servers earned.

So they should. It’s a skilled job.

If the shift was quiet I requested to go home because frankly I was not willing to work for 4 quid an hour- I depended on those tips to pay my rent and bills and college tuition at the time.

when did you work for £4 an hour?

Look I think people who don't tip 10% are unreasonable and cheap to boot and I will leave a tip on their behalf if I see they haven't because it is so utterly cringey to eat a meal and not leave 105 because the cultural norm is to tip waiting staff if they wait on you in the UK and US

You’re obviously from the US but I can assure you it’s NOT the cultural norm to tip 20% in the UK. Never has been. There’s no well-known rule that 10% is the minimum, like in America. and there’s no expectation either. I like the US, we pay the NWM to food service staff here.

not if it is a buffet that is different

Why is it different?

but is just a cultural norm so if you have not learned that norm then either you have not gone out much or you are a bit cheap and tight - so just own up to that.

Ive been eating out for 30 years, I’ve worked in restaurants and my parent ran restaurants before they retired. I promise you that I haven’t missed this so-called cultural norm. Not everywhere is like America.

Very off-putting in a person as it speaks about the generosity of their spirit full stop- so that is why people are getting offended because they are being called out on it here.

Ugh no one gives a monkey’s uncle about being ‘called out’. And that’s not what you’re doing BTW - you’re imposing a US cultural norm on the UK, I don’t know why but you think it’s the same. It’s not.

That’a a big problem I have with Americans - they can’t get their head around the fact that not everyone is the same as them.
.

in the UK where everyone know if you go out for dinner you leave as close to 10 % of the total of the bill

Never ever heard this. Why do you think this is the case?

Uglybonnet: "why did you work for £4 .an hour?"

Standard hourly rate for the job back then.

That was the hourly rate back in 2000-2002 when I studied in London and worked in a London restaurant 3 evenings a week that enabled me to study for a degree I had to pay for myself since I had been traveling so was classified as nonresident- that meant no access to loans, no tuition, I had to pay every penny myself and I did it through being a waitress.
The tips took it to 7-12 pounds an hour which meant I could work 20-25 hours a week and get by in London whilst studying with no access to loans and pay my tuition.
I very much counted on the tips and luckily in the 4 years I did it the average was that yes 90 % of people in the UK tipped 10%. Americans tipped 18-20% and very grateful I was to them too.
I am not sure what kind of restaurants you have worked in but only the naffest places I have worked in at 13 had customers who did not tip frankly.

I have worked in over 10 restaurants and the norm is for people to tip.
People who do not tip stand out and yes servers will judge them as being cheap and yes I think they are unreasonable and cheap too.
In the US yes it is 18-20% and they will really let you know what they think of you if you dare not tip there.

These are cultural norms- question them all you like but they have been around my entire life and having worked in many restaurants as a young person to support myself in getting educated, now as an educated person I makes sure I follow those norms and when money is tight I do not eat out in those places.

As I said thanks to the generous customers not quibbling over a few quid whose tips supported my wage back then so I could get educated. I would have had to abandon my degree without that 8-12 quid an hour I was able to make twenty years ago so thank you!

I am not from the US either but have spent a chunk of time over there- my experience as a waitress in the UK is significant enough to let you know non tippers are a minority group-I know because at the end of the night I would tally up my sales and add up my tips and I would consistently make 90% of whatever I had sold that shift. If I served 20 tables, two of those tables would be the ones scurrying out without a thanks and without a tip.10% el cheapo peeps every shift, we all got our ten per cent cheepopeepos and you had to suck em up every shift and play the game of spotting them as they came through the door. Very popular chain restaurant too, not a fancy place. Ten per cent. 90 percent of people got the tipping memo and follow it every time they eat out.

chiweenie You're talking complete nonsense and you were clearly not a waitress in the UK. Nothing like 90% tip and 10% is certainly not the conventional amount. Even less so in the early 2000s than now.

chiweenie What a ridiculous claim. Have you ever worked as a waitress anywhere? 🙄

I've been dining out in the UK for 40 years. Leaving a tip is not a 'cultural norm', 10% or otherwise. I've also worked as a waitress in London and in the home counties, and my parents ran an inn and restaurant.

Tipping wasn't standard anywhere. It's a nice gesture when it happens, but not the norm and never has been.

Tipping is stupid. I don't tip either.

I've was a waitress in a British seaside town and tipping even annoyed me as a waitress. All the tips generally get taken into a pot and divided between ALL staff at the end of the night. So you're not even just giving your server a 'thank you' for their service, you're literally just making it so the bosses can pay the staff less and then rely on the tips to make the job appealing.

You are under no obligation to tip, your friends put in what they could afford, who cares if it's tight?

I hate it when people don't tip. Really hate it, it's so tight which is a very unattractive quality. I find it embarrassing.

When the service is bog standard ok, it's your choice not to, but mostly it's not ok when the service has been reasonable.

Donkeys years ago, I used to waitress all through school and Uni. Cafes, restaurants, running pubs, Chinese and Indians, big Xmas do's. One of my first ever jobs, in a very good coffee shop, I worked so hard and people would regularly come in for toasted sandwiches or cream teas and the bill would be say £4.95 and they would wait and hassle me, tutting as I ran through with someone else's toasted sandwich, giving me the £5 note and waiting for the 5 pence coin change, out of my bum bag of notes and coins. I could never grasp it.

I am not from the US either but have spent a chunk of time over there- my experience as a waitress in the UK is significant enough to let you know non tippers are a minority group-I know because at the end of the night I would tally up my sales and add up my tips and I would consistently make 90% of whatever I had sold that shift.

What we’re you selling? Are you referring to the food you served?
Many people get commission for actually selling things (I don’t think serving food counts as a sales job…) that’s not topped up by the customer though. Employers do that. If that’s what you’re after you are in the wrong job.
If this thread has taught me anything it’s that a considerable amount of waiting staff are delusional and entitled. It’s put me right off tipping anything to be honest, certainly not for bog standard service, especially if I’m to be judged for not giving enough. I’ll keep the money for young children who are a lot less spoiled and entitled.