To not want to go to the tip today?

[TipTopTurvy]

Dh doesn't drive. Today is my day off.
Dh has just announced he wants me to take some old furniture to the tip.
I dont want to, having already done 3 loads of washing - he has hung out one, tidied the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom and...its hot? Its 28 degrees here so dont fancy sitting in line to haul the furniture into smelly tip containers. Plus it's far too heavy for me to lift the other side by myself. (I have no idea if he will come. I suspect not)
I said no, it's too hot. He responded with well instant this stuff gone, and it's not that hot yet, you said so yourself. (At 7am. It's now 28 degrees)
I said I would do it on saturday, my next day off. He said no and he wants it gone today.

I'd do it op if it's bothering him that much and it's local. Are you really going to have to sit in line at 10am? I'm.probably biased by the fact it would really bother me to have junk sitting about for a week that could be easily gotten rid of right now.

I just asked if he would come with...
No. It doesn't take two people.
I cant lift it at the other end?
Then ask for help?
I am asking you for help?
You never come when I went for the last x years.
Yes, but I cant actually lift the furniture?
I have done the tip runs for years and the moment I ask you, you need me to help? get over yourself. Fucking taking the piss.

--
Right. That's me told then.

Don't go. He shouldn't be telling you, he should be asking you. Sounds like an arrogant price tbh. I wouldn't dream of doing it in this heat and the fact that you doubt he'll even to to help speaks volumes. I couldn't accept that type of attitude from anyone least of all my husband.

I'd tell him where to go, frankly and there's absolutely NO chance of me doing this with that kind of response.

But I'm puzzled - how has he done runs on his own before if he doesn't drive?

so, he dosent drive, the furniture is too heavy for you to move on your own, its bloody hot and he probably wont help you? That would be a 'fuck off you cheeky twat' from me!

On the queue cam there is already a line.

Oh tell him to bugger off. It won’t hurt anyone to wait until Saturday! The last few times I’ve had to go to the tip I’ve been sat at least half an hour waiting to get in. Not a chance I’d be doing that in 28 degrees. And if you can’t lift the furniture yourself, what does he expect you to do? There’s no guarantee someone will be there to help you out! Either he comes with or he sucks it up and waits til the weekend. It’s furniture, not rotting bags of rubbish!

He used to drive. He lost his license for medical reasons recently.

And I have done tip runs in the last two weeks, so.

If he needs it to go today he’ll have to find an alternative won’t he?

why on Earth would he refuse to go to the tip with you? That’s what I don’t get, if he’s that keen ti get it out of the way?

He sounds an utter delight OP, what evil thing did you do in a past life to deserve this diamond of a man?

He sounds like an utter knob and like he just wants to sabotage your day off, on the hottest day of the year (I think).

Tell him you've said no, if he wants it gone, he needs to sort it out.

I really hate it when the first post is such bad advice.

The fact he's being so bloody rude he better start lugging them on his back, wanker.

He's refusing to go and help ?

Cheeky mare!! That would be a go boil your head from me. I'd tell him to go google rubbish removals and pay for it. Cheek. There's no way I'm sitting in a queue for a tip today.

No I wouldn’t go even if I could lift it myself. If he wants it gone today he can arrange an emergency collection but why does he get to dictate what you do on your day off? If I was feeling nice I would go but given the way he’s asked it would be a hard no. And I’d expect an apology before helping out with another tip run.

Well theres the stinger, tbh. As with everything, there is backstory.
He was recently arrested, nfa from police but yes, I had called them on him, and was away from the house for a couple of weeks. My fault apparently.
Yesterday, I threw out fish he had made at 11pm the night before that had sat out all day. Cos, health and safety?. And "his" pizza had been eaten so he was kicking off about that. The pizza thing was my fault and I apologised. It ended up him throwing a plate on the bench, but that's ok because it didnt break, and telling me to fuck off multiple times. He was incredibly nasty to me last night, sent a series of texts, that this morning, I said did you read the texts from last night? No, I am watching a movie. Ok well maybe you should. He admitted he was nasty and apologised. (Before reading the texts he sent to me blaming me for everything)
I then took dc to work to check their shifts, came back and he was in a mood. Guess he has read the texts he sent and got riled up about pizza injustice again?

He can want all he likes, he's not your boss. Tell him to carry it there if it's SO important it goes today! Git.

if I had agreed to drive it there, I'd fully expect him to come to do the lifting, not driving doesn't affect that!!

Why doesn't he drive, this also affects my willingness to do all the driving/driving jobs!

And as for telling you to go but he wont. Pfftttttt!

He's got a cheek! Yanbu

I find it hard to believe there will be a queue all day at the tip today, ours are dead in the week, you only have to queue if you go at the weekend.

But I don't know why you go on your own when the stuff is too heavy to move by yourself. I'd just refuse, not that DP would ever expect me to go by myself if it was a 2 person job to get the stuff out of the car into the bins. The tip people won't help where we are anyway.

Tell your 'D'H that you will take the stuff to the tip later when the queue goes down but only if he comes with you so you can both put it in together.

Yup, that's you told that you won't have help for what is a 2 person job in this stonking heat. So you are not doing it today, you will do it on Saturday when it will be cooler and you may have a chance to find someone else who will help.

Oh, cross posted with your update. Going to the tip is just the tip of the iceberg (sorry).

Erm, it’d be a NO from me. Especially expecting you to go without him. Fuck that.

Considering this whole back story you’ve now added, I think him expecting you to go to the tip today is the least of your problems.