Family Seating at a Wedding

[CreateIt]

Hello-

My husband, son, and his partner recently attended a family wedding of a nephew on my husband's side of the family. My son flew in from quite a distance and his girlfriend came with him excited to meet extended family members, some for the first time.

When we came into the main hall we discovered planned seating for everyone. My husband and I were seated with his siblings, but my son and his girlfriend were seated quite a few tables away from the family tables. In fact, he was the only cousin on my husband's side of the family that was set aside in this way. All his cousins were seated together without him and this included some adult step-children. I was livid and my anger was obvious. To me, this was just one more of many ways my husband's family has passive-aggressively communicated to us that we are not a welcome part of his extended family. Things like this have happened time and again to us and our two adult children over many years.

Once the ceremony was over and the reception began. I shared my disappointment with my husband and then several others. This was simply the proverbial 'straw that broke my back'. Usually, I would have said nothing and 'pretended' all was well, but I am beyond that type of behavior now. Within the next week, my husband's sister, the mother of the groom called me. She told me she was aware of my being upset over this and she asked me to apologize to the groom and bride because they, the bride and groom, were also upset to learn of my disappointment and that I shared my feelings with others. While I agree that I should not have shared my feelings with anyone outside of my husband and son, I am torn about this apology, especially when it is not originating from a discussion with our nephew and his new wife. I also believe that I have a right to my feelings and perhaps we are the ones who deserve an apology in turn.

I would also like my husband to have our backs in this, but her prefers to remain silent and just let the storm pass. This has been his M.O. for over 35 years of marriage. He now refuses to discuss it.

I welcome your thoughts and feedback. Thank you for your consideration.

I hope it did, otherwise the OP won't be invited anywhere else by the family ever again!

OP you sound unhinged and it is incredibly rude and crass to obviously complain during a wedding

YWBU.

This is a troll guys - reported.

but just for future reference if someone is clearly being unreasonable and asks for opinions - they are a troll.

I'm actually affronted for you.

You are ridiculous!

It’s a troll stop posting.

How incredibly rude of you to mention this at all, but at the actual wedding, too!
Were there no opportunities for your son and his girlfriend to get up and mingle with other guests/relatives?
In my experience, you generally mingle with other guests over pre-meal drinks, sit at your allotted seat during the meal making conversation with others around the table, whether you know them or not, and then generally circulate after everyone has finished eating.
Nobody nails you to your seat!
Where did you expect them to be sitting?
Was it possible that their RSVP was late and seating plans had already been drawn up?
Whatever the reason was, it was up to the bride and groom to make arrangements and not for anyone else to criticise on the day or afterwards.

This thread was made by a troll, no need to to re-animate it.