to ask whether you have ever had a man get nasty after being rejected?

[Heytheredeliah]

I have rejected a few guys who obviously have a crush on me. Not in a nasty way, but just made it very clear the I am not interested in them. Most of them take it well and just don't pursue it any further, but I had one guy who was very nasty to me after I rejected him.

AIBU to ask whether you have ever had a man get nasty after being rejected?

Who hasn't?

No, fortunately not.

The “worst” was a man apologizing after he tried to kiss me and I said no.

Why do some of them get very nasty after being rejected?

Because they are dicks and you had a lucky escape!

Oh of course. Mostly it's the age-old reaction of declaring me a "frigid bitch" for not instantly swooning at their ill-founded advances

Yep. One gem that stands out in my mind is the bloke that told me I should be thankful he hadn’t raped me because he knew that he could 🙄

I have an irrational fear of this, I have a DP and when I reject a guy, I always worry if something is yet to come! I don't know what it is, because anyone I reject usually takes it well..

Yeah. Means you have dodged a bullet. Don't interact at all again with them.

That is terrible!

Yes, of course. The worst one was fortunately so drunk that a stamp on his foot felled him... but I was a lot smaller than him and scared for a few seconds.

I've also had two exes get stalky. I do not want that to happen again.

They just reinforce the reasons you decided no!

So very many nasty responses

Like I'd do you anyway

Frigid cunt

Better watch your back, bitch

Ugly cow anyway

I was only asking for a bet

All sorts of shit that usually made me laugh, loudly, which only made things worse.

Yes. That’s what led to him attacking me with a knife. Cut my arm. Still have the scar 30+yrs later.

Yep. A man I met at a pub slapped me really hard across the face when I said no to a kiss. He came back at me with his fist raised and ugly angry face looking like he wanted to smash me to bits, but luckily his mate held him back.

It was more of a punch than a slap if you know what I mean. There was so much power in it, so much aggression. I got out quick and he was trying to chase me out.

I sometimes think of that incident and wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t been able to get away from him. Or what another woman may have suffered at his hand. Given his instant rage, I can’t imagine it was an isolated incident.

No, never.
But I’ve never been asked out/ man has never had a crush on me, ever.
I have had men telling me how ugly I am, by men I known and strange men passing by….

It’s very strange, I don’t know why they think I need to be reminded of my ugliness.

Yes, but not to the extent mentioned here. I do have an ex who doesn't seem to understand that if I said no four years ago I'm not likely to have changed my mind now.

I am very sorry to hear that men have been unkind to you x

Yes, the first was aged 11! A boy in my class asked me out and when I said no lunged at me across a table. I appreciate not the same thing as when you are an adult, but I do wonder what sort of man he grew up to be.

Since then it’s just been the general “it was just a bet you ugly cow” etc…

@Sonervousimgonnathrowup - I have never understood this. I was once walking my dog aged about 13 in my school uniform and van with two grown men stopped to tell me my dog was more attractive than me. Why do 2 grown men need to insult a teenage girl to get their kicks.

More often than not. Usually because I’m a fucking virgin or lesbian, apparently.

I was in a group chat via zoom, group of people into the same hobbies, there was one guy who was trying to get my attention, but I was already in a discussion with someone else, and for some reason, he started to ask me why I was ignoring him, I told him I wasn't ignoring him, I was just already in the middle of a conversation, it was so weird, he then proceeded to ask me why I'd got a spot on my chin and I should get rid of it as it doesn't make me look attractive, he was mental, the other blokesin the group told him to leave as he was being incredibly rude and they told me to ignore his nasty comments.

Alas, I got stalked.

I don’t know how many times I was called a lesbian (I mean, why is that used as an insult) a stuck up bitch or frigid when I was younger because I’d told a bloke to remove his hands from my arse in a club.

Yes. Very.

He was extremely manipulative as well, and tried to gaslight it away. He tried to hoover me nearly 3 years after the last time I bumped into him after long term harassment.

Men who don't take it well just confirms that you were right to reject them from the start.

Nope, thank god.

Not sure how I'd handle it so very glad to have never been tested in such a situation

I was raped by a guy (my boss’s boss) who threatened to blackmail me if I didn’t let him have sex with me.