to ask whether you have ever had a man get nasty after being rejected?

[Heytheredeliah]

I have rejected a few guys who obviously have a crush on me. Not in a nasty way, but just made it very clear the I am not interested in them. Most of them take it well and just don't pursue it any further, but I had one guy who was very nasty to me after I rejected him.

AIBU to ask whether you have ever had a man get nasty after being rejected?

Well. At best would be the ones who just call you fat or ugly or whatever. Too many of them to count tbh.

The worst one was the dude who raped me.

I was telling someone this story the other day.

I was a teenager and had gone with a group of friends to a city 70 miles away. Sat in the park. One of the girls I was with was tall, blond and very striking. She also had a thing about hairy older rocker types.
A young office worker type came over and started chatting just to her, ignoring the rest of us. Seemed to have a physical disability in one of his arms. Starting asking her out but she said we’re not local, just there for the day (which we confirmed) and that she had a BF (half true). Wouldn’t even speak to the rest of us (all very average looking) even though we were trying to be nice and chatty and telling him why were there etc.
He went nuts. Literally calling her all sorts, screaming at her. She was lying, it was all because of his arm. Why couldn’t she just say yes to him. Why were girls such bitches.
she was cool as fuck and just stuck a finger at him and told him to fuck off.

always stuck with me, especially how he blanked the rest of us entirely and zoned in on her.

When I was in my twenties I had a workmate who turned weird on me, imagined we had some sort of relationship which we didn't, and then got very nasty when I made it clear I wasn't interested. I had to call the police when he turned up at my home at 2am.
Then nothing until ds's dad (20 years later) who got very nasty when I left and tried to starve us back.

No problems in the 20 years in between 😊

As a man this hasn’t happened to me, but years ago my ex at the time was involved in PR and did lots of events. A guy at one of the events tried asking her out and managed to get her number from a business card (she used her own number rather than a separate work one, which in hindsight was idiotic). She told him she was in a relationship and not interested but he started pestering her and ringing her a lot and so on over the next few weeks, sometimes getting rude and upsetting her.

I’m generally quite easy going but have a low tolerance for bull$hit like this so decided it was time to go and have a word in his ear. In the course of trying to locate him, I found out he was a police officer, which was equally surprising and disappointing on account of his behaviour. I figured the direct approach would probably land me in a cell but fortunately I had a family member who was quite senior in the police and after speaking to him, a message made its way to the guy and he never bothered her again.

I had a fwb for a while when I was single and not looking for a relationship. He let me know that he definitely didn't want a relationship. Things changed for me and I was finally ready to look for a partner so I started online dating. I met someone nice and decided to see what came of it so I tried to tell my fwb. He was very difficult to get hold of - unusually - but I did finally manage to tell him and he got really angry! I was completely blindsided as he had already told me that we were never going to be in a relationship. His response was to threaten to publish some risque photos that I had sent him (I know I was stupid). I had thought he was a really nice guy and felt safe with him. Just shows...... (I married my really nice guy by the way)

One bloke at a party pinned me against the wall by pushing his hand against my face at arms length after i rejected him. Not rudely either! I couldn't move his arm and he laughed at me because i couldn't reach his body to fight as his arms were longer than mine. So I threw my drink at him. And he threw his drink over me 🙄 Nice.

A couple of other men have become stalkerish after rejection.

Some awful stories on here. Basically, it boils down to the fact that some men (not all) believe - seriously believe - that women are on this planet for them... to serve and entertain them, and to shag them at will. They believe they are their servant in life, and are there for fucking and cooking.

When women (quite rightfully and understandably) reject them, their tiny little brains can't process the rejection, and they get angry and aggressive, and sometimes violent, because they are THAT entitled. Seriously, really THAT entitled. Like just how dare this cunting bitch of a WOMAN reject me? The fucking BITCH!

Who the fuck would be a women eh?

Yes. More than once.
Had barely dated them a week and got bad vibes. Weird and nasty with me for the next few years every time I was unfortunate enough to see him (at university) also while at Uni another guy got a bit strange and stalkerish..

Yes. No one likes rejection but it seems to cut some men to the core, and unleashed a sort of ancestral rage against women. It’s depressing to say the least.

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps - quite. I think to some extent all women are aware that every 'no' could be the beginning of a horror story we may not live to tell.

Yes, just this weekend. Although I wasn't the one who rejected him.....

I was out in a club last night and ended up chatting to a women who was stunning. We were dancing and having a chat and this guy would not leave her alone. She told him she wasn't interested and that she was actually more interested in me.
He could not cope, spent a good hour either walking up to me and telling me how old/unattractive/fat I was or glaring at me while shaking his head.
It unnerved me enough to leave the club.

Yes. Unfortunately it seems the norm for most women.

Yes I had a man start stalking me after I rejected him!! A friend of mine confronted him eventually and ended up punching him in the face. That got rid of him. But insane that it needed to come to that?!

Yes, I also had the rape comment.

Yeah, I used to go out on nights out as a teen/early twenties most weekends. That meant that I had plenty of "frigid bitch!" "Bitch", "fucking dyke", or "ungrateful ugly bitch" comments when I politely turned down these charming gentlemen suitors at the bar offering to purchase a refreshing beverage during the evening in the clubs.

was seeing one guy at my first ever job at a supermarket, turned out he had a gf so I dated another guy that worked there - first guy went out drinking then turned up at other guys house screaming that I was a slut to the whole street and then keyed my car. I was 18, still traumatised.

This is not about me rejecting a man; more about a male friend (Jay) turning nasty behind my back for reasons that I still can't understand...
I fancied him for a while and recently heard that he did actually have a thing for me when we were friends but he wouldn't ask me out as "women should ask HiM out".
So we were part of a group of mates for about 4 years in 1999 - 2002.. I was at uni in 2002 and got online, as Jay and his mates did back home.
He would regularly send nsfw group emails which I quickly learnt to ignore and not open.

Then I noticed that he'd changed my username on the emails to a horrible nickname that was a nasty reference to my appearance.
A female friend told me that basically Jay had given me that nickname and he had all the lads in that small town mocking me.

I was devastated as I really look after my appearance and i just didn't understand how he could be so cruel.
I was 26 and that was nearly 20 years ago now, I've never spoken to him since.

I do wonder if there's something wrong with me that puts single men off me as I've never had a relationship last longer than 4 months.
I have rejected men and they've been ok about it, I've been rejected more often and I always pretend to be cool with it.
Now I don't even bother trying with men.

Similar to my worst one. Guy grabbed me round the waist in a club, I shouted at him to get off me, he punched me full in the face (closed fist) then was squaring up shouting “do you want some more?” - his friends pulled him away.

another group of men witnessed it and came over to me, I thought they were going to help me but no, they just tried to convince me to go back to their place to be comforted.

I went to the bar staff to get help and they called security and the police, and the first guy got arrested and cautioned.

This is too sad. You won’t be ugly I can guarantee it. It’s sad that men have made you feel this way.

I am fat and plain and I've had guys try it on with me when it was completely inappropriate for them to do so (work setting, guy a lot older, guy in a relationship etc) and they got very nasty when I made it clear there was nothing doing. I think to a certain type of guy, a woman who's not particularly attractive should be grateful for the attention. Heaven help her if she's not.

Nowhere near as bad as some of these for which I'm very grateful but the length of time and brooding it took is quite something.

Guy from my friendship group lived really near to me. Offered to meet up one day at the local field after I mentioned I used to sneak off there sometimes for a smoke. Fine, all good, except he asked me out which hadn't been on my radar AT ALL. I apologised and said very nicely that I didn't see him that way and honestly thought we were just friends. He didn't say a word and abruptly turned round and walked off.

For YEARS afterwards he completely blanked me, would make passive aggressive remarks within my hearing etc etc. Ridiculously childish behaviour especially as he was four years older than me.

I ended up in a relationship with another guy within our group. Was going really well and I was really happy. The guy I'd turned down went to the effort of faking txts to his brothers phone, faking handwritten notes etc to the tune that I was only with this guy because he was attractive and it made me look good. The effort he put in was astonishing and unfortunately my boyfriend fell for it (more fool him for not just bloody talking to me directly). I was dumped and whilst being comforted by my girl friends weirdo guy came dancing up and hissed at me 'now you know how it feels'. He was in his twenties at this point and had harboured this resentment and clearly planned this revenge for years. I mean....get a hobby maybe?!

I had a man threatening that I wouldn't want to see him around if I didn't call him that night on the number he gave me. I was scared to walk around by myself for two weeks!
Why he thought that would make me romantically interested in him, I'll never know.

God yes. So many times but many years ago. I think I was supposed to submit, not be kind