to ask whether you have ever had a man get nasty after being rejected?

[Heytheredeliah]

I have rejected a few guys who obviously have a crush on me. Not in a nasty way, but just made it very clear the I am not interested in them. Most of them take it well and just don't pursue it any further, but I had one guy who was very nasty to me after I rejected him.

AIBU to ask whether you have ever had a man get nasty after being rejected?

Guy grabbed me round the waist in a club, I shouted at him to get off me, he punched me full in the face (closed fist) then was squaring up shouting “do you want some more?” - his friends pulled him away.

Fucking hell. So many men tread a line between desperately wanting to fuck and desperately wanting to beat up the object of their affections. Hideous creature, hope he got or gets his comeuppance one day.

Yes many a time.

You ugly bitch
Fat cunt
Frigid cunt
And so on and so forth.

I have developed an extreme dislike for men of late, I'm trying to work on it before I suffer misandry . Men are bastards not all but most unfortunately.

A bloke last year walking towards me in the street started by complimenting my appearance loudly to his friend and trying to get my attention to speak to him. He was talking about my tits and arse, not passing the time of day so I felt justified in ignoring him and looking away. As soon as they passed, he turned around and started bawling insults to me at the top of his voice until I reached the end of the street, about how fat and out of shape I was and how terrible I looked in gym leggings. Obviously I didn't look that bad 30 secs previously. Thing was, I don't know what he thought would come of his initial advances.

Men know that weight and looks for women is a very sensitive subject so instead of lashing out with their fists they lash out with their mouth . Just as height and hair loss is a big deal for them .

Hope all you ladies who experienced physical violence reported it to the police

After my husband had left and I was on my own for a while, I met a man when out with girlfriends. He was very nice. He was polite and funny and great company. He was very keen on me. Me not so much as I had children and recently come out of a bad marriage.
Then I found out he was married. I stopped seeing him. He called me relentlessly and followed me. One time I was in a restaurant with my children and he appeared from nowhere just staring at me.
We left the restaurant and there was a note on my windscreen saying 'I love you'.
Luckily my children had no idea.
One day I was at home with my youngest who was off school and he appeared at our front door. At our house where my children live.
I had not told him my address, so I realised he must have been following me.
I told him to go away.
Luckily for me he got the message. And I really thought he was lovely at first.

Most of these are quite awful.

I've been prompted to remember more, though they're old examples.

I was drunk and with my female friend, we were both alone in the same bed. Her ex was staying in the next bedroom and I woke to him touching me (I didn't even realise it was sexual assault until years later). He asked if I wanted to go with him to his room to finish. I was confused and still drunk and said no, and he left, and afterwards I didn't mention it to anyone and tried to forget it and thought it was the end. But he began some weird sabotage of my boyfriends; he'd call them and warn them off me saying I already had a boyfriend, with a bad reputation, who would be really angry with them if he found out. This happened twice and I had to cut contact with my friend as she told him the names of people I was seeing.

You can understand why ghosting is sometimes preferable - not every woman is able to deal with verbal abuse on this scale.

Yes, many times.
I was particularly annoyed about a male friend on my course at Uni who told a bunch of our classmates that I’d ruined his life. Just because I wasn’t interested in having a relationship with him.
It wasn’t the worst reaction I’ve had, but it was upsetting because I thought he was a friend. Arsehole.

Yes I met someone when late dp & I had split for a short time & after a couple of dates I knew I just wasn't in to him & after going back to his flat told him I didn't want to jump in to bed with him, I told him I was going to the toilet & legged it. I had phone calls, nasty messages & threats until I blocked him on everything.

when I was younger I was often harassed in bars by men my own age. The worst it got though was muttered insults as they walked away, as if even though I was there with my friends I should have been absolutely ok with being propositioned.

Doesn’t happen now I’m middle-aged.

The one that stands out for me was a bloke on a dating app years ago.

I matched with a bloke I'll call Tom. He seemed nice enough, if a bit boring & a tad persistent/needy with the messaging.

If I'm honest, I had a more promising prospect on the go, so I'd arranged a coffee with 'nice but boring' Tom on Monday, but was going for drinks with other prospect on Saturday.

Tom was out that Saturday too, at a gig which several of my friends attended. The penny dropped for me when he talked about the event in his messages - he was a 'friend of a friend', an acquaintance of my ex husband, & I had previously met him briefly through mutuals.

Well, that put the lid on it - DEFINITELY there had been no spark when our paths had previously crossed. No worries. I sent a friendly message cancelling our coffee date, explaining that we had previously met, & wished him well.

Tom was very upset. Tom was very VERY vocal indeed about just how upset he was, all over several social media platforms, which various people helpfully screenshotted for me....

Oddly, he was perfectly honest about the fact that I'd just blown him out for a coffee. He seemingly genuinely believed that absolutely anyone either of us had ever met (& it turned out there was quite a crossover) would agree with him that I was a <insert list of misogynistic epithets> because I had declined to have sex with him.

He spent one entire weekend raving on about it, with various mutual acquaintances telling him that he was totally out of order, & then he apparently just got over himself & went back to posting mostly about his innocuous nerdy hobby.

I was mostly annoyed by how quick a few mutual friends were to excuse him 'oh yeah, Tom's a bit of a sad bastard. Bit intense. Dodged a bullet there, Corvus!'

FFS...

Lots of times but the worst are the ones who haven't taken no for an answer, I've had two men kiss me by force, numerous have groped me over the years and one has raped me. The ones who just tell me "well I didn't actually want to be with you anyway you ugly cunt" are horrible but obviously not as horrible as the ones who just don't accept no. I've been followed by men I've turned down too which has been terrifying. I even had a man stalk me for a few years when I was still at school, my mum insisted the police wouldn't do anything because he hadn't actually done anything to me yet, great, luckily my older step brother eventually threatened him and I never saw him again (although that was random stalking and hadn't come about through me rejecting him). I've had never ending shit from men my whole life to a point I often question if it's me that's the problem 🤔 I even ended up shaving all my hair off once just so I'd be left alone and be a bit more invisible from men (it worked until I went out one night, rejected a man and of course he then proceeds to declare it must be because I'm a lesbian, why else would I have shaved my hair off 🤦🏻‍♀️).

One time I finished with someone and shortly afterwards there was a few of us at a mutual friends house, I must have been about 14. Anyway because I'd ended things (he kept saying he would say when it's over not me) he was mad at me and started flicking lit cigarettes and matches at me, luckily one of the older lads there broke his nose for that.

I'm sorry to everyone else who has had to deal with this shit too. I think I reached a point where I just expected and accepted it as the norm 🙄

So many!

And I must be a terrible breaker-upperer because all 3 past LTRs ended with the guy turning into a complete nutcase and making my life hell for months or years afterwards. Even the one whose decision it was to end things!

@ElEmEnOhPee I reached a point where I just expected and accepted it as the norm

Christ this thread is depressing. Completely unsurprising, but depressing nonetheless.

Think we’ve all experienced this. Multiple times. I know I have to varying levels of dangerousness, from the “fucking ugly dyke” variety all the way through to the “I’m going to ruin your life” charmers who do their best to make good on their threats.

I’m grateful to be older now and less likely to be a target, though it still happens at work. Which opens up a whole can of worms to deal with that helps keep that glass ceiling solidly in place.

Made the mistake of complaining to my mother once when I was young, who said I should pipe down and be glad for the attention. Thanks, mum.

Not quite. Rejected someone (we'd been on a date. I found him too clingy, he wanted things to move fast and we didn't click) and he couldn't seem to grasp that I didn't want to take it further. He kept pestering me to meet up with him.

He then tried it on with me again a few months later.

It turns out that he had a girlfriend.

@Sonervousimgonnathrowup When I was about 18 I was out with some friends and a man walked past and whispered very loudly in my ear that I was an ugly cow. I'd never had any interaction with him before & it still affects my confidence now. No wonder I have chronic social anxiety and hate going out.

Plenty of times.

Bloody lesbian!
You're ugly anyway
Bitch

And on and on.

These threads are so depressing. I dread this for my daughter.

Too many to count. 2 date stalkers, you must be a lesbian / frigid / ugly bitch / I did it for a bet nightclub experiences. Got punched by a guy in the coat queue in Walkabout when I said no thank you to an invite home.

The friend of a friend my friend let in to uni halls in the middle of the night to 'try one more time'.

One time I was on holiday with my bestie. She went to the pool bar for drinks and out of the corner of me eye I could see her being harassed by some massive tatted ex army dude. As I approached he started screaming about the 'disgusting pubes hanging out of your bikini bottoms you fat ugly slag'. In broad daylight, families and kids everywhere. She just said no to a drink. She also weighted about 7st at the time. Awful.

I let a platonic male friend stay the night on the floor of my room in halls at uni. He tried to get into bed with me halfway through the night, and tried to have sex with me. I got called a frigid lesbian when I pushed him off and ordered him to leave.