AIBU to wonder why mumsnet is so quiet these days!

[filettodipesce]

It's such a disappointment, what has happened?

I was very happy on mumsnet when I could go directly from my emails online. You could look at a thread easily, even isolate op and see all their replies or look up old threads they'de written. That hasn't worked for me for months for some reason so I downloaded the talk app. It's horrible, the layout is horrible, it's functionality is awful, it takes an age to update. Finding ops replies can be a nightmare, notifications don't work half the time. (This is nothing to do with my phone fyi or internet connection)
So I wonder if others are the same and the faff of getting on here just puts them off

Hmm another thread just deleted.

Weather
Deletions
Risk of being picked up by online media
That maddening family in lockdown page on fb which ive now left as its like fucking trip advisor these days

I still get notifications about new posts to deleted threads. I’d love to know what’s going on there, no-one should be able to post surely when a thread has gone.

Things have gone downhill since the site update. Seems like a lot of users left, and even though I still read a lot of threads I've stopped adding replies. So many threads get deleted without warning so it's a pointless waste of time and effort. Why should I bother typing for 10mins and generating free content and ad-revenue clicks for a website if it'll get deleted anyway (fully aware of the irony in this reply).

The trivial but entertaining, live update threads that were prevalent 2-3 years ago have also gone (eg the one about the houseguest staying in their room). All the threads now are angry people moaning about money, class, covid, heat and then getting shouted back down by angrier people. So yeah, MN feels a lot like FB now. You still check back out of pure habit but the content is dwindling and you stay for less and less time.

The fun has disappeared to a certain extent, you can't post much without people having a pop.
The brilliant live Jubilee threads where everyone was watching and commenting with no agenda reminded me a bit of what it was like to have fun on here.

But it's probably the nice weather currently. And the new format isn't great.

And like a PP said there's only so many times you can discuss how often you wash your towels/yourself, cat poo in the garden, balls coming over the fence etc Parking threads are not that interesting really.

I don't mind the deletions, especially of the trolls.

Also, for some reason "Active Threads" are clearly not active ones anymore, but simply the most recently created threads. A lot of them have 0 or single digit replies. Before the site update, Active Threads were actually ones where you know you have lots to read or discuss. I'm not sure if this is a glitch from the update or if they were forced to do this because there simply aren't enough active threads to display.

So yeah, MN feels a lot like FB now

Yes, or a lot of the time the comments section under articles in the Mail online.

This in a nutshell! I cannot navigate my way round the site anymore.
Why can’t the topic menu be on the main page? I genuinely cannot work out how to find it .

For me, some of the threads are more negative than I feel, I am sure alot of the juicier threads have the potential to end up in the Daily Mail or people get outed so they don’t bother anymore and there is a heaviness in the air post Covid. Everyone needs to come together and bring the sense of joy and community back but nobody can be bothered

I find it so difficult to use on my phone. Click on a thread to open and it takes ages and the one that comes up is a completely different thread. Go back to try again and can see it's the thread two below the one I was trying for. I have sometimes ended up reading upsetting threads I would not have intentionally opened. I thought it was my phone but it doesn't happen on any other site.

There was a long thread the other day that I just couldn't get to the bottom of to se the updates. Every time I scrolled down I would be nearly there and then it would suddenly chuck me off, again I think the site was deciding I was touching a part of the screen I wasn't. I end up holding my phone like an unexploded bomb I'm trying to defuse, being so very careful not to touch anything I shouldn't but it still doesn't help.

As I say, no problem with other sites or apps.

What used to be a fun "I'll just sit down and mumsnet on my phone for 20 minutes while I have my tea," has turned into a teeth-grinding battle

The real reason why Mumsnet is so quiet, is because for a large percentage of posters, Mumsnet has become AIBU.

“posting for traffic”
”couldn’t find the Chat forum (?)”
”know I’m in the wrong place but wanted the traffic”

are just three of a number of these disclaimers I’ve seen, as well as dozens of other posts today where folk don’t even disclaim.

It’s a vicious circle because the more people post incorrectly on AIBU, the more others will post for traffic, and then the other boards die.

If however what happens on Pistonheads happened here (topics that aren’t AIBU are immediately moved to correct forum) then Mumsnet as a whole would be healthier

but I suspect Mumsnet’s loving the AIBU traffic numbers and so they’re addicts to the vicious cycle too

There's a lot of chatter about threads ending up in the press but TBF Mumsnet themselves pick threads and share them on their Facebook/IG pages as well.
Once it's out there it's out there regardless of where on the internet it is.

All social media outlets have a limited life expectancy. MySpace went the way of the dodo, only people over the age of 50 post on Facebook etc. Everywhere becomes irrelevant eventually. And maybe that's what's happened to Mumsnet. It had it's heyday in 2014 or whenever and now it's experiencing its natural decline.

I definitely feel that it's less fun, and less witty. And that the collective IQ has dropped a few points.

The posters who never come back after starting a thread. I don't know if they're genuine or a political entity gauging responses, a journalist or a mischief maker. I now check it out if there's only one post from the OP I don't bother engaging

Yes, there's loads of that. Generally a topic that's a bit goady, I guess they just sit back and watch get everyone wound up.

It is heaving with low-IQ ageist twits. Who will one day, if they are lucky, be old enough to be the mother-in-law or the annoying older/elderly neighbour/relative they've been smugly and repetitively bitching about on here for years.

Came to say this ☝️

You may not care as long as it's "entertainment" but please think again. I can tell you there have been some dreadful troll posters who fake cancer, fake their child being terminally ill, make up elaborate stories about their parents having been caught up in the Zeebrugge Ferry disaster in the 1980s etc. All sorts.

MNHQ don't tolerate any trolling irrespective of whether it's The Sistine chapel Shrieker spoof kind of post or someone who claims to be sitting by their child's hospital bed waiting for the life support to be switched off, because it can cause a helluva lot of bad feeling if people put their heart and soul into supporting a poster they think is alone in this world, or getting involved in a discussion where the poster clearly plays a merry dance, only to find out the OP was stringing them along with an elaborate hoax.

Yes, its everyone's choice whether they invest, or over-invest, but the truth is that trolls play on the fact people can get sucked into an elaborate story line and it never ends well.

I don't know if it's a sign of the times, but there's a lot of very agitated, aggressive posters on here and it's depressing to read.

For instance, someone says they're sitting in the garden and the neighbours are annoying - "Not very subtle stealth boast OP... tone deaf as some of us don't even have a window box..,"

Its at the point where you can't post about anything.

It's like reverse-snobbery gone crazy.

Different cultural perspectives are mocked

If you are a SAHM or work part-time, it's only acceptable for you to be in AIBU if you're posting about how Shiite your life is or some hardship you are facing. Otherwise the usual suspects will come out and get very nasty.

People are clearly struggling and ridden with envy and the aggression ruins debate and prevents people from posting.

@Baaa

Olaf and the parking thread, Sistine chapel, snapped and farted are more recent classics but still quite a while ago now

Steak cut chips?

I must've missed that one, link appreciated if it hasn't been deleted!

What is putting me off MN is the stories in the Daily Mail and the way it is managed.

I learnt the hard way not to post anything too outing on here. I posted about an incident, and as the thread went on revealed some very personal and private information, naively thinking it’s anonymous. The incident ended up in the Daily Mail, and people in real life who knew about the incident found the thread on MN and saw what I had shared. My private past became public and caused a lot of damage. I am therefore very careful about what I post.

When I do need advice about anything remotely personal, I now always name change and tweak the details so it’s not identifying, for example I change the age of DC, the sex of DC, the sex of my sibling, etc. I recently had a thread deleted and then I was banned from MN - for a reason that was never explained they decided my thread was not in good faith and because of inconsistencies in my posting history, they decided I was a troll. Took several emails back and forth before they reinstated my account, but it’s massively put me off MN. I also found it really insulting - they didn’t protect me by allowing my thread to be taken by the DM, and then when I started to take steps to protect myself since, I had it used against me. I suspect many other legitimate posters have been treated this way and may also be put off posting on MN.

As a side point, it was also not the first time I have had a legitimate thread deleted because it “was not in good faith” or they doubted my intentions. Anyone who would have seen the deletion message would assume I’m a troll, but I’m really not. So not every deletion is a troll, but could be MN getting it wrong. Just something to bear in mind when a thread you’re following is deleted.