To think I might need to consider moving to get away from my parents?

[janeseymour78]

I'll start by saying I have owned a flat where I live for 2 years so it isn't straight forward.

My issue is that I'm an only child and my parents still focus on me too much although I'm 29. They text me most days although I did start going grey rock so my mum texts a bit less.

But for example she knew a friend was visiting & we were going to an event. She contacts me to ask if the friend arrived 'safely' - she lives in this country ffs. Then she asks if we went to the event, how was it. I find it intrusive and I'm busy with my friend. My dad also bombards me with endless messages. I'm sick of both of them and actually began to cry earlier after yet another message. I almost knew I was over reacting but felt so stressed about it.

I lived abroad for years and they didn't know my life in detail so they didn't behave like this. I seriously question if I made a mistake moving back close to them and wonder how to get out of this. When I think of living like this for the next 20 years I can hardly bear it tbh

I've found the "don't JADE" thing helpful when dealing with my Mum.

So don't Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. There's more info on various websites. eg outofthefog.website/what-not-to-do-1/2015/12/3/jade-dont-justify-argue-defend-explain

I've remained in contact but reduced it - so I don't respond to texts within work hours at all. I respond when I feel like it, rather than immediately. I keep responses bland - so mine knows about eg a flower in my garden or that DD is going to a party this weekend but has zero idea I have some medical stuff going on.

I actually found the Covid lockdowns etc really helpful with this - it was amazing having an actual concrete reason not to see her and really showed what a tiny part she plays in my life. It also meant we had two Christmases without seeing her and hopefully we'll carry that on now I know how much more relaxed and enjoyable that is.

Good luck!