To be furious husband pretended he had covid

[Thatsnotevenmyusername]

DC and I have had covid for almost a week now. Second time round, first time was thankfully very mild for all. This time I have felt like I have been hit by a bus, 39c+ fever for days, extreme fatigue, headache, nausea, pains, malaise and flu feeling etc DC have been very unwell too with high fevers and vomiting. DC are preschool age and a baby.

DH says the day I tested positive he feels unwell too, doesn’t have similar symptoms to us (no fever, etc just feels tired and under the weather, some diarrhoea.) DH tests negative but we assume it will be positive in the coming days. The next few days are spent in a blur caring for the sick children, very ill ourselves (supposedly), taking turns to nap while the other cares for the DC. I was lying in bed with fever feeling really unwell but was told to come down and help with the DC as DH was “really sick too.” Even when he was up he lay on the settee the whole time complaining how ill he was for days and how he was “just as bad as me” even without the fever.

I tested again today with a very strong positive (initial lft was a faint positive) so I asked DH to test again too as his should definitely be positive by now. (I had my suspicions at this stage as his supposed symptoms weren’t anything like ours.) Lo and behold his test is negative. He’s adamant he’s been just as sick as us even if it hasn’t been covid (what are the chances, eh?) I am absolutely disgusted that he would drag me out of bed with a fever to make me look after sick children while he lay sleeping on the settee feigning covid. I am so upset and now a huge fight has ensued and I don’t even want to look at him. He says how dare I say he hasn’t been sick (he has had no outward signs of illness, only symptoms he can say are affecting him.)

For info he has form for doing things like this, any time I am sick he says he is too. My most recent pregnancy he honestly spent more of it ill than I did.

AIBU to be this upset?

YANBU. He sounds like an utter, lazy dick. Does he have any redeeming qualities? Or is he always this shit?

Is there a possibility he was sick with a different illness?

How can you he sure he hasn't been sick though? There's taking the piss but how do you know? I tested positive for over a week now for the third time with covid, the other 2 haven't been well but tested negative

Re-read, if he has form fair enough an I can see why you'd doubt. But there is a lot of shit doing the rounds

That is a really dickish thing to do.

Our gp says my DH has had covid this week despite his negative tests. She said many covid cases not testing positive so maybe be less hard on him.

It is possible he had something else though.. there is a particularly strange non covid virus thing doing the rounds round here. But if he's got form then I wouldn't be happy no.

If he has form for this sort of thing then that's maybe a different matter, but I just wanted to say that when DH had COVID the first time, I came down with something and felt really rotten but never tested positive. I really couldn't believe that I didn't have COVID as we were sleeping on the same bed and living in quite a small space.

And I have an older relative who was recently positive and his wife came down with something at the same time and now has a lingering cough and is still exhausted. She has stayed negative, but again I can't really believe it was something else?

Yea

There is a possibility that he has been sick with another illness of course, but I do find it highly unlikely. Last time we had covid he tested positive and had mild symptoms, this time he has had supposed worse symptoms but is negative and his symptoms did not align with mine and dc’s. As I say he has form for being a hypochondriac and as soon as I say I am ill he is too, I say to him I’m surprised he doesn’t share in my period cramps! I was pretty ill during my pregnancy but he claimed to have the cold every other weekend. I’m not even sure he does it on purpose, it’s almost like a subconscious thing that If I am sick then it gives him the excuse to be lazy around the house because I am incapacitated if you see what I mean. He did have diarrhoea the day the kids and I tested positive but this is not unusual for him (he has had bowel issues most of his adult life.)

He is an amazing father to our preschool age dc, he works hard and is kind and generous. When he is home he does most of eldest dc care and I sort the baby who is still very young and attached to me. However he is very lazy with house work. Has to be asked to do anything and several times before it is done. Constantly complaining I clean too much and to just leave it. Will open the bin which is full to the brim and cram stuff in and walk away for as long as he can until I ask him to put the rubbish out. That’s why I just can’t shake the feeling that this was all a rouse to be as lazy as possible and not have to pull his weight with the dc (the baby really) while I was sick by feigning illness too

So he pretended to be sick all week?

It's a definitely a thing that some men play up or behaviour like a twat when the wife is ill and they have to step up and be a hands on parent.

Lateral flow tests are not all that accurate (I'm a GP). It's quite likely he did have Covid. It's normal for people in the same household to get different symptoms - vomiting is common in children with Covid, for example, but relatively uncommon in adults with it.

He's still a tosser for his competitive illnesses during your pregnancy, but I think you might have to cut him some slack this time 😉

Another perspective.

One Saturday night, my son had a raging fever, almost 40 degrees and wasn't himself. 2 negative covid tests. I was about the bring him to hospital when his fever broke and started to come down. He wasn't himself that weekend so I kept him off the following Monday. At least one more negative test.

Next day, the Tuesday, I felt a bit iffy and got an immediate positive that I couldn't shift for 10 days. Hubby was positive too. Son never tested positive.

I am convinced my son had covid.

I am finding it hard to accept his two negative tests when he tested positive for covid in January…

Diarrhoea is a symptom of omicron 5. And I know several people who've almost certainly had 5 but tested negative. Apparently LFTs are not as sensitive to it.

Yes, he has irritating history, but I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss him this time.

Are you my husband 🤣

Both my daughters treated positive in January. Both got it again in May (with positive LFTs).

Come on now, it's been all over the media that omicron 5 is bypassing any immunity from earlier variants.

Are you my husband 🤣

I'll answer you in a moment. Just busy, shoving something into the bin....

I can understand completely why you'd be suspicious as well as frustrated OP, based on his previous BUT in this specific situation YABU.

He could have been sick with something else, he could have had Covid without getting a positive.

When you are feeling better, you need to talk to him again re his laziness - that's ridiculous behaviour eg re the overflowing bin

Please take it outside with you DH 😂😂😂😂

I am aware it is bypassing immunity, as I said previously we all had it in January and DH and I are both triple vaxxed and as I currently have it my issue of disbelief is not of it’s ability to bypass immunity, it’s that if he has it now why isn’t it showing on an lft (sorry two lft’s) when it did show positive when he had covid in January

he has it now why isn’t it showing on an lft (sorry two lft’s) when it did show positive when he had covid in January

You've been told why. They are two different variants, behaving differently. A GP has told you that Covid + patients are not testing positive on LFTs.

You could be right about DH. But you may not be.

We had covid for the second time too. DP was constantly negative but was also ill 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know someone like this. Eventually his wife got very sick and so did he. So everyone was looking for environmental causes. She had cancer and her diagnosis was delayed because of him.

If he has form I'd be livid.