Things you consider bad manners that others don’t

[Novasmum]

Inspired by an experience earlier today of having to listen to a man whistle for 10 minutes in GP waiting room.

Not only is it annoying but I do think it’s bad manners but I know other people wouldn’t class whistling as bad manners.

what’s yours?

Another one, though it hasn't happened so much since the pandemic: making an exaggerated clucking fuss of someone else's relatively minor symptoms, often a lost or hoarse voice, and concluding with 'At least it must get you lots of sympathy!' I am not complaining about the genuinely over-concerned, but about those who think that having health problems is somehow a treat because it may attract sympathy.

Asking/make people take shoes off esp elderly or infirm people...in the house.

Something has gone very wrong if any one thinks their so called germ free floor will poison them with one older or infirm person keeping shoes on

@Ylfa

eh? Why not send it back? If it’s not good surely it’s best they know?

Nothing! It shouldn’t be on the table at all, however.

@Cam22 I personally don’t do this, but I think the reason people do this isn’t because they don’t want you reading their texts, but because they don’t want to be distracted by looking at the screen when messages flash up.

Saw this on another and shamelessly pinching it. Someone who is your friend saying something like, “I went to that concert with my friend.” - without naming the friend. It’s rude to do so imo. Do these people want others to think they have umpteen friends scattered around? Or do they want to be unnecessarily coy and annoying?

…on another thread…

I always think if someone says that it’s because it’s someone you don’t know.

Its pointless to say ‘I went to xyz with Bob’ if the person you’re talking to has no idea who Bob is.

Yes I agree.

And I wish my mother would get this message. I don’t know who Carol is, mum. Saying “Carol? Carol. CAROL” isn’t ringing any bells either when I’ve never met or heard of the woman.

Yes! Or Carol, you know Carol, she lives on Whatsit St, she went to school with Billy, blah blah…

noooo I don’t know these people 😂

My sister is always out with "friends" and when I ask who they are she claims she can't remember or I wouldn't know them. Once she said she'd been out with a very good friend" and was then aghast that I actually knew the person much better than her and I wouldn't have considered them a very good friend.

My mother used to meet people and say to me, "You know who this is don't you, Rachael?" and I hadn't a bloody clue who they were.

saying ‘with a friend’ is probably better than saying ‘with my former lover’ which can get a bit tiresome.

Agree. When people keep dropping the names of people you don't know, it can get rather irritating. I had one friend who had a number of friends from her school, which I had not attended; and seemed unable to get her head round the fact that I was unlikely to know all her old school friends: 'So, ddl1, have you seen Louise lately?' 'I've never met Louise in my life.' 'Oh...' then a couple of weeks later, the same again.

Erm…she could say, “…my friend, Penelope,…”
That’s perfectly possible, I think. Lol

Picking up chicken wings with their fingers and gnawing the meat off them.

It is so disgusting and it almost makes me feel physically sick when someone I’m with starts doing it. My heart sinks when I hear people suggest having chicken wings for dinner…..

Oh yes I have a friend who does that all the time: ‘Hannah is pregnant’, ‘I’m going to see that film with Simon next week’, ‘I’m so happy for Sophie, she just got a new job’ and so on when I have absolutely no clue who any of these people are.

I’m not sure why adding ‘my friend…’ before the names makes such a difference to how it comes across but it really does seem to! I guess because it removes the implication that these are people you’re supposed to know.

In my friend’s case I think it comes from a good place where she is just this very loving, generous person who’s genuinely so interested and invested in all her friends that she can’t quite get her head around the fact that we don’t actually all know each other and the keep up with the intricacies of each other’s lives. I’m sure she has friends who think ‘who the fuck is Sam’ when she’s similarly gushing about me to them so I can’t get too wound up by it but it is a little irritating!

I’m not sure why adding ‘my friend…’ before the names makes such a difference to how it comes across but it really does seem to!

It's effectively an introduction.

And I wish my mother would get this message. I don’t know who Carol is, mum. Saying “Carol? Carol. CAROL” isn’t ringing any bells either when I’ve never met or heard of the woman.

She sounds like my mum and her infinite number of Jackies, Carols and Margarets. She always assumes I know which one she’s talking about, even if it’s someone I’ve never met.

People expressing disgust at perfectly normal behaviour eg. Washing your hair in the bath, weeding in the woods, gnawing chicken wings

Weeing not weeding

Treating everything that other people do as boasting, or if it's obviously not ordinary boasting, as 'stealth boasting' and 'humblebragging'. I'm not saying that these things NEVER happen, especially on social media; but most things, even most annoying things, that people do, are not done in order to boast (in fact annoying behaviour is more likely to reflect insufficient awareness of the impression that one is making on others); and constantly suspecting people of trying to boast is generally ruder than whatever they are doing.

Talking to someone through a cubicle door. I used to work with a woman who would do this - as she was quite senior I didn’t think it was okay to say “I’m on the toilet Sarah, can I talk to you another time?”. I think she was being friendly but that isn’t a time to be friendly.

Saying 'Can I let you know nearer the time?' when issued a social invitation.

My OH does this, but what's worse, does it through me.

I'll look up from my phone and say, "Janet and John have invited us over next Sunday. Sound good?"

"Oh, I dunno. Can you say we'll get back to them?"

"Why? Have we got anything on next Sunday?"

"Well, that's it. We don't know what's happening next weekend."

"Er...this. This is what's happening next weekend. So do you want to go, and if not, why not?"

"Look they don't need to know right away. Tell them we'll get back to them in a day or two."

"That doesn't help, does it?"

"Well, they're your friends. Just fucking go if you want. Jesus - why is it always me that has to make the decisions?"

....and so the long summer evenings just fly by.

My FIL helps himself to food off other peoples plates using his fingers, while they're still eating. He doesn't even ask permission!
He's done it to me on a few occasions when we've been out for a meal and it puts me off my food. None of the family seem to have an issue with it but it irritates the hell out of me, as I find it really rude.

It's the height of rudeness. I'm afraid my fork would accidentally "slip" every time until he learnt to leave my plate alone.