Things you consider bad manners that others don’t

[Novasmum]

Inspired by an experience earlier today of having to listen to a man whistle for 10 minutes in GP waiting room.

Not only is it annoying but I do think it’s bad manners but I know other people wouldn’t class whistling as bad manners.

what’s yours?

its illegal to cycle on a footway unless it is designated as a core path

Yup. That's almost exactly what I said.

Accepting an invitation, then pulling out as you’ve had a “better offer”, or because you’d rather have a quiet night in. Very rude in my book, especially for an event where the host will have gone to lot of trouble. But some people don’t think twice about it.

Lanes without a footway are another place where cyclists need to show consideration for pedestrians. I’d rather they used a bell even if it makes me jump.

I agree @Cattenberg because of the inconvenience to the host(s)

However, making an excuse to decline up front because ... you don't want to, is perfectly fine in my book.

Yes, it’s fine to decline an invitation.

What makes me most angry is when a parent accepts an invitation to a child’s birthday party on the child’s behalf, then cancels (or just doesn’t turn up), because they’ve decided to go to another event/the beach instead.

It can really upset the birthday child and sets a terrible example to your own child as well.

Honestly I sit beside women or men on public transport and never think of the gender-just the most convenient seat. Also as a woman I couldn't give two fucks who sits beside me on public transport. Honestly darling, you have issues-I hope you don't have sons or brothers.

Doesn’t it depend on how many seats are free?

A man taking the only free seat, which is next to a woman - fine IMO

A man walking into a half-empty carriage and choosing to sit next to a woman - creepy IMO

People who hover directly behind you in the supermarket queue, trying to pressure you to hurry up. This persisted through lockdown;

People who sit on the aisle seat on the train blocking the empty window seat, then 'zone out' with eyes closed/headphones on oblivious to anyone who might need the seat as the train fills up;

People who, when you are talking to them at social events, look over your shoulder and scan the room for somebody more interesting to talk to;

When two people in a group of three talk to each other at length about something they have in common which the third person doesn't, so the third person is unable to join in and feels like a gooseberry;

Even worse - when two people in a group of three WHISPER and giggle, and the third person is the only other person within earshot;

Worst of all: when complete strangers come up to me when out and about with my DS in his wheelchair and ask me personal questions about his issues. 'What happened to him? Was he born like that? How long has he been like that? What are his disabilities?'.

I usually respond to the last that he has 'wonderful boy syndrome' but they usually persist and then I stop communicating with them. They get nothing out of me.

Yes, absolutely.

The woman who wouldn’t give ‘two fucks’ if a man sat right next to her in an empty carriage/bus is a very rare woman indeed and imo would have to be incredibly stupid or lying.

Not sure if this has been mentioned but I really find it rude when, mid sentence, my SIL will suddenly interrupt because she’s obviously remembered something. It doesn’t seem to bother other people and so I can’t decide whether I’m being boring and others are glad of the interruptions or if I’m being over sensitive, but, whichever way it is I still find it rude and annoying.

@Nannewnannew ·

Not sure if this has been mentioned but I really find it rude when, mid sentence, my SIL will suddenly interrupt because she’s obviously remembered something. It doesn’t seem to bother other people and so I can’t decide whether I’m being boring and others are glad of the interruptions or if I’m being over sensitive, but, whichever way it is I still find it rude and annoying

My Dad does this (to everyone, not just me), it's rude. I think many people do notice but are too polite to say anything. It is also signalling that she thinks she and her words are more important than you or anything that you have to say.

suddenly interrupt because she’s obviously remembered something

I notice this in myself and work hard to curb myself. Apart from anything else, they can't be listening to you very hard...

Unless ... you are my mother who used to talk all.the.time, just a constant stream. If I ever wanted to say anything, I just had to interrupt.

When you serve people in shops and they spend the whole time on their phone, then walk offf without saying please or thank you!

Or when parents let their kids put you on the spot for play dates at your house. I had a loose connection with a girl who let her son do this all the time on me, then waited for my answer. I used to absolutely hate meeting her at the school gate for this reason

Same - it is always shit music too!

The woman who wouldn’t give ‘two fucks’ if a man sat right next to her in an empty carriage/bus is a very rare woman indeed and imo would have to be incredibly stupid or lying

I'd find it odd anybody doing this but have yet experienced it but who says just men do this?

Maybe people have only experienced men doing it?

With Aldi and Lidl, although it's annoying when people pack various bags and not the trolley to move away, it's the one's who then have to search their humongous handbag to find their purse to then find cash or card or their phone to actually pay. 🙄

But it's completely different when a man does it. Of course it is. And we supposed to ignore the fact practically all sexual abuse and assault, and most non-sexual assault, is committed by men?

A woman choosing to sit next to you on an empty train is obviously not a threat, and is probably either lonely or feels unsafe travelling alone.

A man choosing to sit next to a strange woman on an empty train is either a predator, or completely oblivious.

Women seeking out other women is a totally different thing from men targeting lone women.

I completely agree. In practice, though, it's almost always men who do this.

No-one has said that only men do it. A PP said they find it rude when a man does it, another PP said they wouldn’t care. Whether only men do it is neither here or there to that particular discussion.

@FinallyHere No, I definitely don’t talk constantly and sometimes when I’m out with a group of friends wish that I could get a word in edge ways, but you’re right in thinking that my SIL isn’t listening to me, or anyone else actually, very hard.

What a strange sentiment - I’m a customer not a guest! And yes I’ll send food back if it’s awful

Same can be said when shop workers do that to customers!

Too right. The number of times I’ve stood there like a lemon while the shop assistants are gabbing away about nothing behind the till, then serve me with no eye contact and no thank-you’s. I realise they’re probably paid in barter (or would be if it were legal) but it still doesn’t reflect well on the company.

If I want to be served by robots, I go to the self-scan checkouts.

When you’re in someone’s car and they set off before you have plugged your seatbelt in 😤