Things you consider bad manners that others don’t

[Novasmum]

Inspired by an experience earlier today of having to listen to a man whistle for 10 minutes in GP waiting room.

Not only is it annoying but I do think it’s bad manners but I know other people wouldn’t class whistling as bad manners.

what’s yours?

If people deliberately don't answer, yes. But sometimes people genuinely don't hear or don't realize that they are the one being addressed- either because they are hard of hearing, because the speaker is mumbling, because the environment is noisy, or any combination of these.

Most of the other things you mention don't bother me that much- but YES to the one about visitors expecting a tour of one's home!!!! I thought I was the only one who minded it that much. It makes me feel as though they've come to visit my home rather than me; and also causes me a lot of anxiety, as I feel that I have to make the whole place super-tidy, rather than just the living room/ dining room.

Oh God, the wait staff in my local are terrible for this. If you put your fork down for a second (like to take a sip of water) they'll pounce and say "have you finished?" when you've only taken a single bite and have very obviously not finished.

Blowing nose in public- especially when others are eating.
Not saying thanks when someone lets you pass or holds a door for you.
Supermarket/retail workers that scan your stuff straight away and don't say hello.

Yes. Nose blowing in public is just grim. It’s something to be done in private.

Ordering you to take your shoes off when you go to their home when they don't even have carpets! It makes you feel instantly unwelcome and if you've worn a nice outfit you look ridiculous wandering around in socks/tights or bare feet.

Exactly! (re the tour) - my MIL is terrible for this (despite trotting out the line 'I'm coming to see you, not the house' at regular intervals), and has form for peeping into rooms when we're not looking, if she's denied a tour, which creates a whole ton of stress for me when she visits. Especially as she doesn't stint on criticising what she sees - the 'tours' are basically thinly-veiled inspections tbh. 🙄

Agree re not answering, BTW - I probably should have clarified I meant 'intentional' non-response, so to speak.

What are people supposed to do if their nose is threatening to run, then?? 🤔

Go out the room obviously!

“Exactly! (re the tour) - my MIL is terrible for this (despite trotting out the line 'I'm coming to see you, not the house' at regular intervals), and has form for peeping into rooms when we're not looking, if she's denied a tour, which creates a whole ton of stress for me when she visits. Especially as she doesn't stint on criticising what she sees - the 'tours' are basically thinly-veiled inspections tbh. 🙄”

You mean some people expect a tour even if it’s not their first visit? Not that they should ever demand one even on a first visit. On the other hand, do some people think it’s rude to not show an interest?

So in a situation that's not easy to get out of (e.g. a meeting, or in the middle of a wedding or funeral, say) a person should get up, possibly having to furnish an excuse of some kind, leave the room (by which time their nose might already be on the verge of running so they're having to dab at it anyway), go somewhere they can't be heard blowing their nose, blow it, and then go through the whole rigmarole of re-inserting themselves into the scenario/miss the rest of it? Seems way more disruptive than a (quiet, polite) blowing of one's nose 'in situ' to me - especially if someone has a cold or is an allergy sufferer.

I agree the way some people blow their noses in public is gross (and I'd also concede that doing so is now more problematic because of Covid), but it is possible to blow one's nose politely/discreetly and without displaying snot or anything. Excusing oneself isn't always practical.

To be fair, my MIL is the only person I've ever known to want a tour every single time. It's basically so she can see whether we've done any renovating, redecorating etc and lecture us if we haven't. (I should point out here that she has no financial stake in the house, isn't renting it to us or anything like that, and the house is in a good state of repair/decor - she just thinks a house should be in a constant state of being 'revamped' as she puts it, otherwise people are apparently being lazy. 🙄)

Where I come from, it was definitely expected to get a tour of somebody's house when you visited for the first time. I had a relative who followed me around the ground floor then stood expectantly at the foot of the stairs waiting for the upstairs tour. She asked to go the toilet and took a vey long time so I think she was doing her own tour seeing as I hadn't offered!

Impartial mongoose, yes I agree the shoes off thing us a right pain in the arse, especially if you're just there briefly

So funny I hate when my friends ring my bell, I'd rather they just came in rather than being so formal!

And I always like people turning up unexpectedly - so far anyway!

I agree with so many of these Sniffing drives me mad, no need for it, Lateness and walking into someone's house without knocking good grief that's terrible!
Mine are; loud music in a lovely tourist spot ruining the peace and tranquility of the area ( this happened recently on the island of Arran in Scotland) and spitting! (not just bad manners but disgusting,)

I'm an adult and I'll decide how much salt I'll consume thanks. No one is nannying me.

That would have worked well when I was on my feet in court. Or if I was teaching, nursing, in the middle of a presentation, on public transport or a million other real life things that you don’t seem to have thought of. Do you live your life sitting in genteel drawing rooms that you can slip discreetly out of?

Don’t be so bloody ridiculous.

Wow I bet you’re fun 😂

This isn't always practical; and leaving and re-entering the room, especially if this has to be done repeatedly (which could well be the case for someone with allergies), could be more impolite and disruptive than the nose-blowing.

And if you have a bad back and have to sit on the floor to take your shoes off whilst they stand over, watching you writhing around on their flagstones😂

Or you have genetic bunions so your deformed feet ( that you’d spent time and money finding good shoes that covered the worse) were there to be seen by all.
I never had a pedicure until after my operation at 37. No point in pretty toenails if all people “ see” is twisted ugly toes.

@ImpartialMongoose I have a bad back - two wedged vertebrae and bulging discs are L2/L3. Pray could you please explain how somebody with a bad back is a) able to get on the floor to take off their shoes; and b) how they get up again afterwards?

I would very much like to know so do please tell.

What a strange post. You seem to think because you can't do something, nobody else can. But seeing as you ask, I have a degenerated disc at L3 from a slipped disc years ago, and a recent MRI showed 2 broad based disc bulges as well as my degenerated disc. I also have scoliosis with two curves in my spine at my neck and the lower back. But I am slim, flexible and have always kept active, I have an active job and have religiously done stretching exercises and physiotherapy, you would never know I had these issues to look at me. But I cannot take off or put on shoes without sitting down, it puts too much pressure on my lower back.

Happy now? God, I wish there was a block button. 🙄

When you’ve just missed a bus, so you’re the first one at the bus stop.
Next bus comes along and a certain type of man, who sees women as second class citizens, barges in front of you, practically pushing you out of the way to get on before you.
I always say a loud, sarcastic “AFTER YOU!” when they do this. Half the time they don’t hear as they’re listening to some racket or shouting into their phone, on loudspeaker, naturally.
I find this doesn’t happen as much outside of London, Birmingham, etc.