Things you consider bad manners that others don’t

[Novasmum]

Inspired by an experience earlier today of having to listen to a man whistle for 10 minutes in GP waiting room.

Not only is it annoying but I do think it’s bad manners but I know other people wouldn’t class whistling as bad manners.

what’s yours?

Well I never have had to pay for a drink at a funeral. The normal solutions are a back room or a village hall without a bar, or someone’s house.
I think I’ve been to two with an open bar. My experience is that you get a verbal invitation after the service so the idea they aren’t really hosted by anyone in particular seems a bit odd.

As a host, I find it slightly humiliating to have to apologise for not having something my guest would like. For this reason, I think guests should be very selective about what they ask for and it seems self-indulgent to only drink something most people won’t have in the house.

I think I had better give up Mumsnet. It’s all too exciting and I can’t sleep.

Blowing nose is considered very rude in some cultures but sniffing is okay

@SlowingDownAndDown perhaps it just depends on what sort of people you have coming to your house. I only have friends who would come for refreshments. And we're friends who care about each other so "ooh don't suppose you have an Earl Grey?" isn't humiliating, it's just a qn. We have nurses, HV etc for the kids but they don't want refreshments ime. If your entertaining business clientele etc I can see why it might feel more "host / guest".

We don't have village halls round here, so it would be a Conservative Club, Cricket Club, Amery Club etc. so all with bar. When I die, I intend to be far too beloved by many people for a small wake in our small house to be sufficient.

Hence the common greeting, in those cultures, of "Are you on glue?"

People who eat while walking the a town. Just sit down and eat it, then move on.

FaceTiming in restaurants or coffee shops and on public transport.

People looking at tick-tock with the sound on so you just hear numerous short snippets of sound, talking and bloody watermelon sugar high!!!

@SheepingStandingUp
perhaps it just depends on what sort of people you have coming to your house.

Yes, the closer the friend/relative the more forgivable. There’s also the ‘asker versus guesser’ clash Guardian article . I’m obviously a guesser. In addition, I think other people tend to prioritise helping over not annoying more than I do. Again, what seems important all depends how close you are, but people’s priorities still vary at every level of closeness.
Good luck with your funeral - not for many years, of course!

People who stop randomly in a busy place without looking behind them first. I nearly hit a toddler with a wheelchair because the parent who was carrying them just stopped and dropped them to stand on their own but as I was going up hill I was going pretty fast and swerved violently to miss the kid. Parent still was totally oblivious.
In defence of those parents, most toddlers I know go from being “happily carried” to “dangerously divebombing headfirst to pavement” with no warning and very often you just have to stop randomly and put them down to prevent injury.

Otherwise I do very much agree with this and it’s particularly prevalent at the top of escalators, directly beyond the tube barriers, in doorways, and places where the pavement narrows due to raised beds, bollards or lampposts. People are terrible.

Do you organise a ballot?

Is everyone's vote equal, or do you get a number of votes proportional to your proximity to the window?

Is a simple majority enough to mandate an open window, or do you need some larger percentage to change the status quo?

What if someone introduces an amendment pertaining to another window?

How, in short, does this work?

Exactly @WalkingOnTheCracks . I get on the bus, some of me sat beneath the window is coughing, the air is muggy but I must go around the whole bus and ask the opinions of everyone and do a weighted count.

Most of our buses still have stickers on to say to keep the window open.
Even if it's cold, it's better to have the windows open so it doesn't get damp in there.

Don't be daft - just ask the people in the immediate vicinity of the window who are going to be affected by you deciding the air is muggy and opening the window. If it's cold, leave the window shut or take your coat off.

Using mobile telephones on 'loudspeaker' in public.
Allowing children to run around in shops.
Whistling (especially the high-pitched and tuneless kind, my God).
Baked Beans.

Taking off my coat won't change the air. It isn't a magic coat. I don't breathe through it.

What if they have differing opinions?

Surely it's better with COVID to have some ventilation

Really? You don't say.

Take off your coat and that way you won't feel hot, won't sweat, and won't feel damp. Don't open the window and let cold, damp air in. A bit like being in a shared office - always ask first.

You'll work it out, I'm sure.

Well, yeah.

Either one opens the window because there's support for the idea.

Or one doesn't, because there's opposition to the idea.

Which means there's was no point in asking the question in the first place.

Which I suspect you understand, hence your complete non-answer.

If its a closed bus (no windows open) with lots of hot germy breath, the only thing that's going to make it better is fresh air. If you don't like fresh air, don't come outside. Expecting people to sit in stale air because you like it stale is rude.

Yupz open it and keep opening it. Sorted. Glad we agree.

We don't agree.

You don't get to decide whether air is stale. That's why it's polite to ask those sitting by the windoe if you can open it.

Which brings us back to the question of what to do when even they don't agree.

You insist that they asked them. So presumably you have some strategy in mind should they not agree amongst themselves.

you told me to work it out so I did.

The reality is you can't straw poll half a dozen people and then make a decision on majority vote over opening a small window for ten minutes.

If I get on and open it, you have every right to stand up and close it. A discussion might then commence.

But the window closers aren't somehow more within their rights. I certainly don't see them doing a bus shout out to ask.

So I'll keep opening it and if yu feel so offended by fresh air, that's for you to work out.

The reality is, you absolutely can.

You're right - I will continue to close it if it suits me.