Things you consider bad manners that others don’t

[Novasmum]

Inspired by an experience earlier today of having to listen to a man whistle for 10 minutes in GP waiting room.

Not only is it annoying but I do think it’s bad manners but I know other people wouldn’t class whistling as bad manners.

what’s yours?

Any phone or tablet use at a table where there are others present.
Which brings me to...
...children on ipads in restaurants. Bad manners taught to the next generation. Involve them in conversation so they learn how to converse.

@WalkingOnTheCracks DS has a Midlands accent, it doesn't contain glottal stops except for his inability to speak "properly". So for him it is, but he'd just be perceived as being "rude" for not talking how someone else expects him to

Ah, I see.

I imagine that @MyOwnView‘s disapproval wouldn’t apply in the case of your boy.

Wait, I missed this. Some people think regional accents are bad manners?

It's not something I see a lot of but I went to Manchester recently and two people spat on the pavement within about 5 minutes of arriving. One was really near my feet. Just yuck. (No disrespect to Manchester).

Implictly.

@MyOwnView suggests that use of the glottal stop constitutes bad manners, which essentially means that anyone who lives in London is deemed rude.

@MyOwnView also rails against people who consider one region (London) to be more important than the rest of the country.

It would be interesting to know how @MyOwnView would react if a Londoner suggested that some distinctive aspect of a regional accent were ill-mannered.

It's worth noting that the point of manners and etiquette is so that people feel safe and comfortable. If you are making people feel bad, that really is the height of bad manners.

Talking on the phone in gym
Spraying aerosols in gym
Parking to close

To be fair @Devora13, that’s not the same logic. The argument is that the etiquette for receiving hospitality (even if paying) is different from the etiquette of buying a product or even, presumably, buying some other service such as a haircut.
What I find objectionable about @Ylfa ’s argument is the idea that an entire nation (or more) happily interacting with each other according to an accepted code of behaviour can objectively be called rude. It’s a bit like objecting to the French speaking French in France.

People wearing highly mirrored sunglasses when they’re talking to someone. You’re trying to make eye contact with them but can only see a clear reflection of yourself which is so odd, I end up looking at their ear feeling really uncomfortable.

Lateness - as in 'friends' that leave you waiting and waste my time
Having phone/music on speaker in public
Driving like a dick - coming too close behind, cutting in front etc

Some of the comments about food I find odd thought! It works both way - being a good host and being polite. I'm not going to eat food I don't like to be polite. Making someone feel ill or really uncomfortable is not good manners as a host. I do know friends that will host something and say well this is what I'm cooking and it's tough if you don't like it, then get offended if someone doesn't eat it. Ridiculous.

Having their phone on speakerphone in public so you can hear their conversation.

Your OH going outside for a cigarette in between restaurant courses so you’re sitting there alone, just wait until the end!

Having to lay not sit, every time on the sofa

Growing up we never used to pronounce our T's. Just because we didn't want to sound posh. My older sister used to say dinner ime for dinner time. When I was early 20's our mum was talking about having central heating put in. But she kept dropping the h and saying central eating it drove me up the wall.

Some of the comments about food I find odd thought! It works both way - being a good host and being polite. I'm not going to eat food I don't like to be polite. Making someone feel ill or really uncomfortable is not good manners as a host. I do know friends that will host something and say well this is what I'm cooking and it's tough if you don't like it, then get offended if someone doesn't eat it. Ridiculous.

There’s no point getting offended if people don’t like your food. I don’t think I’ve observed that since I was a child.
I do tend to ask ‘is there anything you don’t eat?’ In advance for a meal invitation.
However, an adult who only eats potatoes in the form of pommes dauphinoises, or only eats fruit pie if it’s black currant, for example, obviously aspires to be the princess who slept on a pea. I wouldn’t comment but I would judge.

Re Early Grey, its fine to ask if I have it, or biscuits, you can even ask if I have a teapot, I'm going to say no and apologise for not having what you want. If you then think me rude for not having a teapot that's for you to worry about

Most places you hire for wakes have bars, I couldn't imagine many places letting you say "you can't run the bar" because they can't afford an open bar for hours. So alcohol often isn't optional. And most funerals aren't HOSTED in the same way a wedding is. You're my guests at a wedding, but are you my guests at MY funeral or my husbands, my kids? If I die suddenly tomorrow with three young kids, the funeral will cost enough for the funeral stuff and putting on refreshments at the wake, but by your logic DH should limit it to just a few people unless he can afford a large bar bill. And frankly, if you only want to come to my funeral if the bar is free, you're well welcome to stay home.

Ok! Ok! It’s your funeral.
So you would apologise for not having Earl Grey (or some other specific tea you don’t have) and feel no resentment whatsoever. That’s great, you are a wonderful person, but what happens the next time six months later when you know this person is going to be in the area. You now know exactly what they like in the way of tea. Is there any polite way of inviting them without first buying Earl Grey? What if, rather than Earl Grey, your guest asked for Fortnum and Mason’s Royal Blend. Is that also a reasonable request?

Ok! Ok! It’s your funeral.So you would apologise for not having Earl Grey (or some other specific tea you don’t have) and feel no resentment whatsoever.

First regional accents are rude, and now not having Earl Grey whilst being dead?

The British really are strange.

Taking or making a phonecall whilst using/occupying the toilet(s). I just can't understand the rationale, who wants to chat to someone with toileting sounds in the background?!

I just don't have weird upright friendships where we take offence easily I have one friend who visits occasionally who drinks EG. she brings her own because she wouldn't exist me to buy a box just for her. She will however ask for a specific flavour of squash for her daughter so that I get. If I forgot she wouldn't be offended, daughter would have water/ I'd pop to the shop.

If she or another friend asked for something fancy and specific, I wouldn't be offended by their qn and they wouldn't be offended by me saying no because we're friends and it isn't a big deal.

Why would anyone be offended in that scenario?

I think my funeral and tea date are seperate. If there's no EG at my funeral, blame the venue.

Incidentally this open bar at the funeral, does that mean you limit "guests"? Mary can come, but not her kids. Not Steve, not seen him I n30 years etc?

People who stop randomly in a busy place without looking behind them first. I nearly hit a toddler with a wheelchair because the parent who was carrying them just stopped and dropped them to stand on their own but as I was going up hill I was going pretty fast and swerved violently to miss the kid. Parent still was totally oblivious.

As someone else has said, old people holding hands taking up the whole pavement especially when I'm trying to get past with a wheelchair.

People that ignore the white stick of the blind.

People that use the lift when they are young and fit, making disabled/ old / prams wait. Most often I see this where there are escalators too so they really still have to do the bare minimum effort lazy so and sos.

People in shops who are looking at something then start moving without looking, usually hitting my blind mother which then makes her jump and normally makes her fall over from being off balance.

People who gather in the middle of aisles to chat where you literally can't get past them. One day I'll say something not so polite! Or going into the entrance of a shop and stopping there, or worse at the end of an escalator.

And finally people that assume everyone does everything the same way they do (or maybe not assuming but not caring enough to do anything to accommodate anyone but themselves).

OK rant over!

No one has suggested having an open bar at a funeral, well I haven’t anyway.

Licking the food box after you've finished the food (I.e. on an aeroplane)...like holding it in your hands and licking every bit of sauce on the bottom of it like a dog. Getting your mouth mucky in the process.

Going to a (fancy) restaurant and eating like an absolute pig...wiping your face with the back of your hand, pouring curry sauce on top of your naan bread and eating it with your hands, hands getting dirty, white fancy table cloth covered with curry sauce, rice and so on. The waiters find it offensive too.

Turning head after every short skirt walking down the street, getting excited about every woman walking past/sitting in the park, waitresses, barmades, mums in playgrounds etc.

This is my soon to be ex...on the market shortly, desperately looking for a lovely woman.

sorry, I should have started a new paragraph after funeral.

Sorry, forgot to tag @SlowingDownAndDown They expect all their drinks to be provided at a funeral, not you. Which given that most venues contain a bar and are unlikely to let you close it, means an open bar.

The people sitting near the window, perhaps? Or other people in the compartment?