Things you consider bad manners that others don’t

[Novasmum]

Inspired by an experience earlier today of having to listen to a man whistle for 10 minutes in GP waiting room.

Not only is it annoying but I do think it’s bad manners but I know other people wouldn’t class whistling as bad manners.

what’s yours?

People talking to me too much during meal times. I’d much rather eat in silence if i’m honest 😅

Bad manners in a shared/open plan office:

Gossipy whispering….Rude!

’Clocking in’ early, but then spending the next half hour making/eating breakfast (noisily, at desk), applying makeup, loudly sharing Daily Mail stories with everyone….Do all that sh*t at home in your own time!

Leaving dirty plates/cups etc piled up in the shared office kitchen sink…..You know that eventually someone who ISN’T a slob will cave and tidy up after your grown-arse self!

Taking loud and frequent personal phone calls…..Nobody wants to hear your business!

Inconsiderate and selfish over-use of ice-cold aircon, even in winter - flicking it on without checking first if anyone minds…..don’t make your inappropriate choice of attire/hot flush everyone else’s problem!

For the record, I no longer have to endure this sort of thing, as am now a home-worker. It’s probably for the best. Felt good to get that off my chest though!!!🤣

Disclaimer:- most of mumsnet isn’t too bad.
But there isn’t a day in which someone hasn’t posted a thread ripping into a friend of theirs, savaging their personality and gleefully announcing that they are going to ditch them. Usual reason is friend is busy and hasn’t been as attentive.

You’re going to publicly savage and humiliate your friend of 30 years because she’s not answered a few texts? Then other people jump in to egg her on to ever more cruel and bitchy behaviour to someone who hasn’t generally been rude to them.

It’s really cruel and it’s very rare it happens in real life. Unbelievably bad manners.

@Ylfa a guest? At a restaurant? Get out of it! If my food is shit, it's going back!

People who stop talking to you without apologising before turning around and speaking to that person who's just entered the room.you suddenly cease to exist. I find the insanely rude
People who answer phones
in your company at the table
People calling you by your first name before asking if you mind. Dreadful habit authorities have picked which needs to be got rid of

Surely we’re all entitled to ask for a refund if there’s an issue, without being rude? It would be bad manners to not mention it really, because otherwise you’re just pretending everything is fine when it’s not and therefore you’re not giving them any information or the chance to rectify it.
Obviously you shouldn’t have eaten it or be rude about it but it’s definitely not bad manners if handled with respect.

Whistling for 10 minutes. I',d have knocked him off his perch. I had that once on a coach trip in Ireland. The whole coach was cheesed off with the constant whistling but no-one said anything, not even his wife. I tackled him about it over breakfast on the third day and made no bones about it. He kinda forgot once or twice but a look from me reminded him. Funny, how people complain but do nothing to tackle the problem in case it causes offence.

Pressure me all you likr. Even sit next to me, as long as there aren't other seats available. But be prepared for me to start stimming, and that includes both vocal and physical stimming.

How do you know other people don't have a condition that makes it hard for them to stand?
You need to take taxis or a private car or something if you can't cope with being close to people. It's public transport. We all have to use it.
If you refused to move your bag when I asked, I'd move it to the floor anyway and sit down, and if you tried stimming at me, you'd find one of my bony elbows being held conveniently in the way at some point.

Entitled is the key word!
@Ylfa
They key to your problem is a basic misunderstanding of what a transaction is.

The people back in the kitchen are not doing you a personal favour when they cook your food. They are being paid. It's a transaction - they turn out 250 meals per night and they are paid once a week for doing so.

Likewise, a meal in a restaurant is a transaction. You purchase a specific meal which is purported to be of a certain quality, cooked according to the specifications on the menu. If it comes from the kitchen and it isn't what you paid for - raw, frozen, burnt, ingredients missing, visible boiled mice floating around - of course you would have a quiet word with the waiter and send it back.

This is because your meal is something you are buying, not your gran's shepherd's pie served lovingly in her kitchen.

What's "a cutlery"? 😕

Those who give you tea and you just get a cup of tea.

What else do you expect?

Talking over people trying to say something in a group.

Talking too much, dominating the conversation.

It's not rude exactly, but we have a friend whom I no longer give any compliments about anything new because all she will talk about is how little she paid for it or how she got it for free.

I fear I may be guilty of this on occasions. I think it stems from not wanting to look like a flash git or conspicuous spender. That said, I have a fellow bargain hunter friend and it's a bit of a running joke between us.

Top of the list this month is an Antler suitcase for £8 at the charity shop, along with a pair of Hugo Boss jeans for £10. Damn, I'm doing it again....

I work in retail & hate having money virtually thrown at me - so tempting to throw it back! Also can’t be doing with customers who just don’t interact at all. Yes you might be having a terrible day but it’s still not difficult to at least greet me & say thank you.

I’ve just thought of another one - treating your garden like another room in your house. I know that technically it is but it’s not equal to an indoor room. To me it’s rude to make enough noise that other people can hear you. I shouldn’t be able to hear anyone else’s conversation word for word, and I definitely shouldn’t be able to hear music.

Pretty much everything my MIL says, and does

Ha ha, this reminds me of my mum and dad years ago. He often disappeared into the loo just as she was about to dish up.

Her usual comment was "typical of your father, just as the meal is ready!"

Ah, the memories ...😆

I used to be very particular about calling elders by their full name (‘Mrs Brown’) until an elderly relative who’s husband had died said how sad she was that no one would call her by her first name anymore. I ask now how older people would like to be addressed.

Interrupting their conversation with you to take a call. I get it if they're waiting on some really life changing news, but just to take a work call - what they're really saying is 'you're not that important to me'.

Eating meals on public transport. Snacks are okay - but a whole meal? I once had a woman sit behind me on a bus in London eating a whole box of bbq chicken - the grease was literally dripping down her fingers... and the noise....

Turning up to someone's home unannounced. A phone call should be made, even if you are nearby, so you can check if is ok to visit. Biggest pet hate.

Having a full blown conversation with someone whilst you are the phone speaking to someone else is another one.

Pressing someone about their personal business when it is clear they do not want to share it. Read the room and mind your business, if they wanted you to know they would tell you without you paying pressure.

Plonking a pile of cash on the counter instead of into the outstretched hand of the shop assistant.

@summerin69 agree with you on busses. But if I’m getting a train across the county I always have to buy a meal. It’s why M&S is in loads of stations!

yes, think I agree with you - it feels okay on a train and also because journeys are longer. But on a bus going three stops.. not so much.

In other places though it is considered rude to put the money directly in someone's hand so I always forget this when I come to the UK.