Things you consider bad manners that others don’t

[Novasmum]

Inspired by an experience earlier today of having to listen to a man whistle for 10 minutes in GP waiting room.

Not only is it annoying but I do think it’s bad manners but I know other people wouldn’t class whistling as bad manners.

what’s yours?

Well, that's just it, a lot of people put it in the paper in the hopes that friends of the deceased whom the immediate family don't have contact details for might see it and attend. Also most bereaved families have got enough on their plate without having to track down every single person the deceased person was friends with, when you're grieving and you've got to organise everything in a very short space of time - it's much easier to tell a few key people and have them spread the word to everyone else. I've been to funerals in France, Spain and Britain, including Catholic, CofE, atheist and Romany families, and they were all organised in that way.

I can't imagine preventing someone who might have cared a lot about my relative from paying their last respects just because I personally didn't know them that well, I just find that really sad, as attending funerals can be so important to a lot of people. I've also taken comfort in seeing all the people who felt affected by my relative's passing, including people you might not have thought of.

Sniffing. OK if you do it once, but don't sit there repeatedly snorting your snot back up your nose - just bloody well blow it.

Don't you ever have colds where the snot is right at the back and you can turn yourself purple trying to blow it out but it won't budge, whereas if you sniff it back it is easier to dislodge?

Blowing works best if there's lots of runny snot near the front of your nose, but if it's at the back.
Also, I really don't understand why some people think nose blowing is so much better than sniffing. Nose blowing is usually much louder, and also blowing ejects the snot (and droplets) into the room, increasing the infection risk, whereas sniffing keeps it in the person's stomach.

Sniffing. Blow your nose- it’s revolting

so is blowing your nose in public especially when people are eating

Men standing around with hand down their trousers

I think just learn to tolerate other teas. I don’t ask people if they have ground coffee even though instant is horrible.

*Phones at the table. Mostly I mean when out for meals.

it’s fine to have it out beside you but actually checking it and answering non urgent messages etc. my friends are all active social media users so whenever we meet up the phones are out, we are tagged with lots of photos before we can even order then throughout the meal they will be responding to replies and tags and checking their feeds.

They are great friends in all other aspects but this really bothers me. When I look around I often see people at other tables doing the same. When did it become okay to openly ignore the people you are with in favour of facebook and instagram likes*

i also find it the same when people do this watching tv or a film together.

But surely your loved one loved and liked other people too? And would have wanted those people to have a chance to say goodbye too?

I couldn't imagine saying to extended family life long friends etc sorry but X's death is nothing to you so you don't matter.

Do you prefer your guests to go thirty or choke down something barely tolerable? Perhaps only offer tap water in future so it's clear you don't actually care about what they might want

I don't see anything wrong with asking if someone happens to have XYZ and then saying "not to worry, thank you anyway" if they haven't.

This really bothers me. I went to a (bizarre) hen do about 6 years ago and remember being absolutely furious and speaking to one of the women there about her phone. She literally just spend the whole evening on her phone - I told her how rude it was for the bride to be to have a "friend" paying more attention to instagram and facebook than the party

what did she say?

No, that’s why I used that example. It’s something I consider rude but others don’t.

What BBQ food does she provide that's so vastly different to what's on offer for everyone else?!

Calling someone batshit on MN.
A lot of posters on AIBU.
Lack of please and thank you.
Bad table manners.
But my biggest by far, when receiving a gift of money, counting it out in front of the giver! I had to tell my step kids to stop doing this as their parents were never going to!

Putting your bag on a seat on public transport to fend off others is just rude, no excuses. It doesn’t matter what condition you have, it is unacceptable.

dh got on the train the other morning, went to sit down and the woman in the next seat wouldn’t move her bag and said, “I need to keep this seat free as I don’t like people near me.” Dh was astonished, but replied, “Ok, I’ll look for another seat, but the next stop is Busytown, so good luck with your extra seat then.” Sure enough, he spied at the next stop her telling another passenger they couldn’t sit down, and they just got her bag and slung it in the overhead baggage bit.

Sure enough, he spied at the next stop her telling another passenger they couldn’t sit down, and they just got her bag and slung it in the overhead baggage bit.

Good for them. What did she do in response?

On public transport, you get the seat you're sitting in. You don't get to commandeer the others so you can create a makeshift private carriage while people stand. It's public transport; if you can't handle the "public" part of it, solve your own problem by taking a car or taxi. Do these people think everyone else just loves a crowded bus or train?

Men standing around with hand down their trousers

that is considered bad manners though.

Ylfa I find that attitude completely bizarre, but I guess you are right that no one else would find it rude, so you're on the right thread. You are paying for a service and the fact that it's food is irrelevant.

I think the phone thing is divisive, and not just generationally. Some people - including my peers in their 50s - seem to think it’s perfectly acceptable to have their phones out scrolling at the table or when you’re meeting up.

likewise lateness. In real life and on MN people vigorously defend it because “That’s just meeeeee” and if you complain then you’re the uptight saddo vs their ditsy free spirit

Letting children chase and harass pigeons.

Not only is it not fair on the birds, it’s also bloody annoying for those nearby who end up with frantic pigeons flapping in their faces as they flee.

What thanks for you send for the party?

What thanks for you send for the party?

I texted and said thank you to the parents. I always do.

Being late.

Not replying to an invitation until the last minute because you "aren't sure if you will be free" are waiting for a better offer

Asking a lot of favours and not ever offering them back

Where there's a group of people who all speak a common language, switching to a different one some of the group don't understand to exchange in jokes and the like

This thread is just mostly describing very obviously rude things that almost everyone agrees are rude.

Having loud phone conversations- usually involving over the top laughing or swearing-in public.
Listening to music without headphones on a bus/train. It's never anything good either, always absolute shite.
A weird one but this happens to me sometimes- people screaming when i walk into a room or round a corner. I'm quite slight so maybe they can't hear me; but is it really such as shock to see another person near you?! 🤔 🤣

@InChocolateWeTrust Yes, to the language one! I've worked with people who did that.
Rude.