Things you consider bad manners that others don’t

[Novasmum]

Inspired by an experience earlier today of having to listen to a man whistle for 10 minutes in GP waiting room.

Not only is it annoying but I do think it’s bad manners but I know other people wouldn’t class whistling as bad manners.

what’s yours?

Using speakerphone on public transport.

I put a bag next to me on public transport. There's already too many people for my comfort I really don't want someone sitting next to me in my personal space and probably touching me.

Yes, that's why everyone does it. But it's still rude, selfish and anti social to try to make people stand rather than use a seat because you think you deserve an exclusion zone around you while on public transport. Stand yourself, travel differently or not at all - it's your problem. And be warned - some of us aren't pressured by this and will just ask you to move it.

No.

I'm not wearing earplugs because you think that hearing someone's music is quieter than a train moving.

The sound of a train moving is to be expected. Some ignorant person playing loud music isn't.

People serving in shops who are on their phone while serving customers. You’re at work, get off your phone!

I agree that I think that many of us are trying to maintain friendships when it’s just not working and we should just move on.
i have a chronically flakey friend who would for example invite me and another friend of hers to a restaurant and then cancel half an hour before, leaving me and her friend to spend loads at this restaurant we had only agreed to go to because of her.
she then cancelled last minute several times at other things, including people’s birthdays, before eventually telling me she is bipolar and that’s why.
She told me please don’t invite me or accept my invitations if it upsets you so much. It really upset me, I felt really rejected every time, and like a chump for getting my hopes up every time.
so now when we see each other it’s just because we bump into each other. We’re not so close but both of us are much happier.
she has other friends who continue to organise stuff with her because they mind less.
but I really, really minded, and realising that and acting on it (you can’t be friends with everyone) I think has been very healing.

Anyone playing videos on public transport without headphones. Music I can live with but not videos 😤this also goes for people talking with the phone on speakerphone.

My colleague this week - he does a small cough every couple of minutes, all day. I know he can't help it but it it's driving me mad.

Folk at the front of the bus queue being polite and letting everyone else on the bus before them when I'm stuck behind them.

Lateness. If it's unavoidable due to something serious then that's fine but I have a friend that is always 20 to 40 minutes late for everything due to poor time management.

Anyone spitting in public. Most people would agree it's bad manners and disgusting, just not the ones that do it.

People serving in shops who are on their phone while serving customers. You’re at work, get off your phone!
I know you possibly mean personal calls etc but the newspaper supplier puts us on hold for about forty minutes weekly. We don’t have the staff to walk away from the till while waiting so I’ll have to put it down and pick up to check sometimes telling the customer I’m so sorry this is a supplier that I badly need, or I could be dealing with a manager from head office, checking a price … I’ll always explain but if you’re walking by it looks bad but you won’t know that I don’t have an option

Yes, I mean personal calls. Of course it’s ok to make work-related calls at work (although it’s good to apologise to customers anyway).

People borrowing books or clothes and not giving them back.
my boss once borrowed my drill to do DIY, and when I asked for it back seemed to have completely forgotten it wasn’t his.
if there’s something belonging to someone else in my house it sort of glows red at me all the time, “give me back! Give me back!”

forgetting about a lovely brew you've just made someone!

Also forgot spitting in the street, foul habit especially during Covid.

Pointing. Put your fucking finger down you uncouth oaf.
glares at DH

Pressure me all you likr. Even sit next to me, as long as there aren't other seats available. But be prepared for me to start stimming, and that includes both vocal and physical stimming. So I might catch you with my hand as I hit myself in the head, or you might have to deal with me whistling, or head banging.
But it's rude that I try to avoid that happening? I do carry my lanyard for situations where I think I'm going to struggle, but thanks to them being used to indicate mask exemption for the last couple years, most people don't understand what their original purpose is.
BTW I try and make sure I use public transport at the least busy times. But the bus can be half empty and someone will still want the empty seat next to me and the try and talk to me. For me that's the height of rudeness. And I loved social distancing, I social distanced way before it was a thing. People actually keeping out of my personal space, reduced my stress levels by a huge percentage.

Storing things in your bra.

Even worse, storing cash in there and handing it over in a shop.

Pressure me all you likr. Even sit next to me, as long as there aren't other seats available. But be prepared for me to start stimming, and that includes both vocal and physical stimming.

I'm prepared, it's fine. I always ask people, politely, to remove their bags so I can sit down, and so far nobody has ever refused or made the journey a misery as a result. If that ever happens, I'll deal with it. But if you truly can't handle public transport, perhaps you should take a taxi. After all, how do you know I'm neurotypical myself? Or anyone else?

You don't get to go on public transport and demand that people stand so you can have a personal exclusion zone. It's not your "personal space", it's a seat on public transport.

Choose a decent restaurant in the first place and behave like a decent guest and problems will very rarely arise.

@Ylfa what on earth? So if a meal is terrible or incorrect, it's the customer's fault for choosing the restaurant?!

I rarely send things back in restaurants but once I ordered a vegetarian meal and what turned up was chicken. I told the waiter, who took it back and replaced it - all fine. What do you think I should have done... eaten it? Or sat there hungry while everyone ate their meals? Utterpy bizarre!

People who correct you mid-conversation (it's not pronounced [xxx], it's actually xxx]) - just shut up and let me finish!

Going out to coffee/meal with friends and they think it's OK to sit on their phones, reply to non-urgent texts or answer the phone to non-critical calls and instead of a quick conversation (sorry, I'm out with SNAFU can I call you back?) they continue to have a full phone conversation whilst I sit and sip my, now cold, coffee.

People that don't say thanks when you hold the door open/let them past.

Anyone listening to music/videos on their phone in public without headphones.

For me, funerals are for the immediate family and they get to choose who they want to be there on one of the worst days of their lives. Ideally we’d have had no one outside the four of us, but through gritted teeth we invited people to the service and wake. The cremation was family-only. The idea of a free-for-all at someone so private and distressing is abhorrent to me – but like I said, I know that’s generally not the case!

Ha, yes I meant weren’t. I’m British. How would you know a funeral was happening unless you were invited to attend? We’re very much a family that wouldn’t put the details in the newspaper!

Not taking your shoes off at the door. You come in the house, the shoes are sll in the porch.

Overtaking funeral vehicles.

Taking calls in shops/ restaurants/ cinema etc.

Saying you will pray for someoneone, keep your faith where its invited.

It's why Tory politicians all do that thing when they're speaking where they sort of hold their fist up with their thumb on top... They've obviously been told to do it by their PR company or something... so they can add emphasis but without pointing at people. The trouble is though, since no one else does it, it just looks weird.

Article with pictures to demonstrate what I mean

“Do you have Earl Grey?”

Sniffing. OK if you do it once, but don't sit there repeatedly snorting your snot back up your nose - just bloody well blow it.

Using speakerphone when it's not necessary. It's meant for when you're at home and have multiple people in the room who want to be on the call, not for when you're walking down the street.

Watching a video or playing music aloud on public transport, or allowing your children to do the same. Get some headphones!

Whistling or singing or humming when around people at work or on public transport.

Shop staff who have conversation with other shop staff whilst serving you.

Putting your money away before moving from the checkout when there's a queue of people behind you. Take three steps then put it in your purse.

Uh-oh, this is me! But I don't really like ordinary tea... But I would like an Earl Grey.!.. How should I be answering then?

I was at a parade with my partner not long ago and we were at the front , I was so excited by it and watching it smiling and clapping along and a couple that were BOTH about 6ft tall just walked and weaved and struggled to get to the front and stood directly infront of me. I’m 5ft 3… I shouted ‘oh it’s ok I didn’t want to see anything…’ and they turned round and looked at me and turned back to watch parade. I was soooooooo angry. That is RUDE AF