Things you consider bad manners that others don’t

[Novasmum]

Inspired by an experience earlier today of having to listen to a man whistle for 10 minutes in GP waiting room.

Not only is it annoying but I do think it’s bad manners but I know other people wouldn’t class whistling as bad manners.

what’s yours?

I don't understand the thing about people who ask you to take your shoes off being... nouveau riche, or something? Posers? I'm not sure I understand the implication (genuinely not snarking just baffled).

Not open your shoes when visiting someones house. Urggg i hate shoes indoor!!!

Pointing at people. I know this is silly as it's not meant rudely usually, but when people point at me or someone else saying something completely neutral like "so when it comes in, send it to tryto -" I flinch.
Not introducing new people to each other. I don't want to be pointed at but I want to make eye contact and say hello. If someone won't do it for me, I sometimes try really hard to create a moment when I can introduce myself but sometimes the other "stranger" is so embarrassed they choose to completely avoid eye contact instead. I HATE that. (but I WILL win!)
People using their outdoor space as their indoor space - stereos, loud talking on the phone etc.
People using communal outdoor space as their space. Spilling out into the street, holding loud conversations around their car, etc. saying hi and having a chat is one thing but setting up camp in public space as if you own it is something else.
People re-asking personal questions that you have humorously tried to deflect. "so what will you do about x?" "oh, well maybe I will become a lion tamer" is code for "I am trying to work it out, it's complicated, I have people much closer to me than you I need to talk things through with, let's not talk about it." so the person goes "ha ha! so what will you really do?" sometimes they won't give up and then you look like the rude one when you have to say something like 'I don't want to talk about it."
Walking into a room already talking because you can't believe that people might be in already in a conversation. "oh my god you guys you won't believe -" yawn, you're interrupting
wearing strong fragrance (sometimes any fragrance)

Already mentioned upthread, but people arriving early for dinner in the evening is terribly ill-mannered.

I admit that none of our friends actually do this, but I have experienced it just once or twice in the past.

I'm very relaxed about most things, but no-one should ever arrive early for dinner. You are not 'being polite,' it is quite the opposite.

Although any gracious host will never alert you to the fact, you are not 'helping' by turning up early and fiddling around with drinks or cutlery.

One of the most civilised things... le quart d’heure de politesse.

Interrupting a face-to-face conversation to engage in long conversations via text. SO rude. This is my personal order of importance...face-to-face, phone call, text. If I am talking with someone and my phone rings, or I get a text, I QUICKLY tell the incoming that I will get back with them shortly, and go back to my conversation.

@RaraRachael I can't stand people blowing on their food either my dp does it when food is barely even warm and it gives me the complete rage.
Also loud yawning annoys the f**k out of me and I find quite rude.
The "can I get" if in the UK annoys me also as I find it very American. The shop assistant will GET it for you if you ask if you can HAVE it please!

Dogs running about over your picnic. Owners seem to to think it’s fine and it’s rude to make a fuss about it. I’m baffled that they think it’s ok to let their dog do that. It’s happened every time we have a picnic.
I shouted at one person to get it off our food and keep it under control and she shouted back ‘I bet you wouldn’t like me to talk about your child like that’. Really?!

I'm assuming you meant to say "I’d consider it the height of bad manners to show up to a funeral you weren't expressly invited to" ...?

Can I ask what country/culture you are from? I've never heard of having to expressly invite individuals to a funeral...?

I have absolutely no issue with headphone leakage tbh. It's very innocuous and usually far quieter than the rattling noise of a train or tube. If you're very intolerant of noise (and I do sympathise if you are) it's easy to carry some earphones or earplugs yourself.

We have (highly educated, professional) friends who when we have them round for dinner, start eating as soon as I put anything in front of them. I find it really amusing/amazing.

That's a rather weird interpretation I've got to say. I don't insist on shoes off personally, but for most people it's because they don't want miniscule traces of dogshit and sundry dirt traipsed through their house. Especially if they have carpets and can't easily clean them thoroughly.

new fear unlocked

Not replying to an invitation.
Being late. (Drives me bonkers)
Phones in cinemas (just put the fucking thing away! You've paid to watch a film. What the heck are you scrolling on your phone for lighting up the corner distracting me from the film and making me want to rip your head off?! 😂

You and me both @expertbyordeal ☹️

Being outraged when people don't have knowledge of things which are specific to certain cultural/class backgrounds. For example even though I am always tentative it is quite normal to me to address friends' parents etc by their first names and I would expect to be told in advance if this was unacceptable. Similarly as tidy and well-mannered as I am I will cheerfully scoop my soup towards me like the peasant I am. Any reasonably classy and pleasant person would make a dinner guest feel valued and welcome regardless of whether they used the right knife for their fish or put water in their wine glass.

Height of bad manners not to offer to take your shoes off. I don’t want the muck you have just trodden on walked across my carpets thank you.
What would you say to someone who has a take your shoes off rule at their house but when they come to your house they don’t take them off? Has happened to me.

Person A talking to person B. Person C comes along. Person A then turns back on B and begins a conversation with C.
Or any scenario like this, eg. going round to someone's house, sitting in living room, person who invited you begins long conversation with family member about someone you don't know without giving you any opportunity to join in /person who's house it is continues to watch TV while you all sit there in silence.

What should happen in both scenarios is effort should be made to include B / the guest. Long conversations that shut out one person in the room should be saved for later.

Everyone would prefer to go forwards on a train; It's just nature. But people who expect you to change seats because they're perfect little flowers who didn't get their booking right is rude.

Ooh that's just given me an idea - we all need to say, hey kid, that's not music THIS is music and pump out some 90s/80s/70s on our own phones!

Being flakey as a pattern of behaviour. Canceling at the last moment or having to be chased for an RSVP.

Lots of people seem to think being busy excuses this. No.

Facetiming in public, we don't want to know...

Not using basic manners, please, thank you.

Not completing a full sentence, like ''I'm moving stock instead of I'm moving stock, would you mind shutting the gate as I come past please, and then thank you once they passed. (yes I def. have someone in mind and the person standing beside me replied, so fucking what... ).

Blocking an entire aisle in the supermarket.

This is me. I have social anxiety and PTSD. The only people who know are my non-judgement close friends. People can just stop inviting me if they wish.

Same if someone has a personal issue or emergency, they will probably only tell close, non-judgemental friends.

People spitting up in there throat or sniffing!

Ahh, I see. I come from a culture (UK) where if a person's child dies for example, unexpectedly, the whole village turns out (because it's a child obviously) and the grieving parents are not expected to put money behind the bar. Am I missing something? I have never had to arrange a funeral so far, fortunately. Sorry for the sarcasm but I'm not talking bridle showers, hen weekends and bridesmaid dresses.