Things you consider bad manners that others don’t

[Novasmum]

Inspired by an experience earlier today of having to listen to a man whistle for 10 minutes in GP waiting room.

Not only is it annoying but I do think it’s bad manners but I know other people wouldn’t class whistling as bad manners.

what’s yours?

@Ylfa I couldn't disagree with you more! If the food they present you with is not what you ordered/as described/ overcooked/undercooked then of course you should send it back! It's no different to ordering a dress online and receiving something that is not what you ordered - you send it back! How you do it makes the difference. I would signal to the waiter/waitress as soon as I saw there was something wrong and let them know discreetly and politely what the problem was. I would not do it just because I didn't like the food, and I would not make a huge fuss.

People who stand in doorways, at the top or bottom of stairs or escalators or right in the middle of supermarket aisles. Especially when they stop to chat.

I had an experience of I think bad manners tonight - I messaged my estranged sons friend out of the blue - this friend had been on holiday with us in the past - often stayed over, often fed by us etc. I wont go into detail about the message but the response I got was sorry this is between your son & you & I thought what a cop out. Other responses may have been - sorry to hear that, I'll try & have a quiet word etc - everyone is so busy minding their own business instead of stepping up - that made me cross tonight

I think it’s terribly rude to tell someone they look tired. I get this a lot and unfortunately it’s just my face! I don’t need to be reminded by near strangers that I look a bit shit. From family member, it might be ok- coming from a place of concern maybe- but just seems rude to comment on others appearance negatively!

If only I had time to read all the replies, but here I go, personal to me and perhaps others:

Arriving early. If you are a dinner guest and have been invited: 7.30 for 8 it means drinks before dinner at 8. It is neither polite nor helpful if you arrive at 7pm.

People who are serving me, chewing gum.

Poor table manners and counting food (yes you MIL)

Not being gracious in the face of someone's error or cock up.

Putting dirty luggage on my pristine bed linen. Use the luggage rack; it's what it's for (yes you again MIL). The filthy grease wheel marks do not wash out.

Being rude about other people when they are not present. Just vile.

Not saying please or thank you.

Keeping people waiting with no apology.

In keeping with the ops theme of the Dr's surgery. Medical doctors who greet me with my first name and introduce themselves with a title. If they expect to be addressed with their title, they may use mine. If they wish to use my first name, they may introduce themselves with theirs. I am not their subordinate and they may address me as their equal.

People who abbreviate first names without checking it's acceptable.

People who raise their voice or speak very slowly.

I could go on rather like a duracell battery.

I don’t think that is bad manners - I think it is honesty.

this young man (I assume lates teens / early twenties) is absolutely correct that your argument with your son is none of his business.

in fact it was bad form of you to try and involve him.

Shutting the door on visitors as they leave. I was brought up to wave people off until they are out of sight. I feel like I'm the only person who does this, it's old fashioned, I know!

What’s wrong with eating while walking down the street? Doesn’t effect you? Agree with lots of these but some of these do seem really uptight 😂

*Putting feet up on chairs in public places.
*Not listening to what other people are saying then butting in with some random crap about something else.
*Looking at your phone during a conversation/dinner out
*Not holding the door for the person behind you.

I could easily get carried away and list a million things that give me the rage!

Plenty of my colleagues seem to think nothing of conducting loud conversations on speakerphone in the break room. I find it really inconsiderate and would rather not know the finer points of what their partner is having for dinner or how their kids' school day was when I'm trying to have a few minutes of peace.

I agree it's annoying when people block the pavement but why a middle-aged couple in particular?

Totally agree!

When someone starts walking about or out the room during while you are talking to them and claims they are still listening.

I haven’t rtft but when I was a child I was always told that turning your plate at the dinner table was the height of bad manners. I mentioned this to DH who thinks I’m crackers. Was anyone else brought up with this rule?!

My best friend has struggled with weight a lot. She's discovered that she can lose weight and keep it off by eating a very specific diet. This has been hugely beneficial to her mental health. It's much easier for her just to bring her own food when she comes round for something like a BBQ, than to have to explain to me exactly what to prepare for her... she rightly thinks that bringing her own tupperware is less faff, and I have no problem with that whatsoever. I have no interest in policing what other people can or can't eat.

Just as bad is expecting bridesmaids and groomsmen to pay for their own costumes. If you’re going to truss your friends up in hideous matching satin crinolines in a radioactive shade of orange, at least cough up for it. If you can’t afford that, then cut your coat (or dress) to suit your cloth and sort out your priorities.

Absolutely with you on this one! Even worse now I am WFH since covid and family asking about my work schedule so they can come round for a coffee etc or even worse just turning up! Also assuming if I’m not in a meeting, I’m free to have personal visitors! Hate sharing my work schedule with people, nobody knew it when I was in the office - it really frustrates me!

Poor table manners

• not using knife and fork correctly


• having no concept of which knives/forks/spoons are for which course etc nor which glasses are for what


• not leaving cutlery politely positioned once finished


• not knowing how to consume soup politely


• drinking to get drunk while eating, rather than enjoying wine as an accompaniment to a meal


• unabashedly burping (or worse) at dinner


• drinking from the bottle


• being raucous in a restaurant


• not using a napkin


• not excusing yourself from the table

Swearing
I find it obnoxious especially when used as punctuation.

Lateness/cancelling or rearranging plans last minute
Just awful and completely inconsiderate.

Lack of eye contact/greeting/chat when passing people on the street or sharing public transport.

No please/thank you/excuse me etc

People who send work emails with ‘!’ Just utter rudeness.

@Fink I agree with you! There's a difference between interrupting and "layering" and I really think some people can't see it.

Talking on loud speaker whilst other people are in the room. Someone I know does this, I don’t want to hear her conversations. Also not saying thank you for simple things like holding the door open, or moving aside for someone. I usually shout your welcome in a sarcastic manner. It really grates on me 🤨

Me too 😡

When you answer the phone and the person starts talking straight away without saying hello. Or is that just my family?

Answering the phone (unless to young DC, or when there's a possible emergency etc) when in a one on one situation with someone in person.

Boils my piss

This is so true! People getting annoyed with Ylfa but you can't say they didn't exactly meet the brief.