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AIBU?

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Original poster

Asking for an exception to the 'water-only' rule at DD's school?

136 replies

Lem0ndrizzl3 · 12/07/2022 22:29

I know there's another discussion about water at school at the moment but it didn't really apply to my DDs situation. DD is starting primary school in September and she will not drink water. At all. She is autistic and has a lot of sensory issues around food and drink.

She currently attends half days at nursery 5 days a week and she is sent with water every day but will not even have a sip. She is always so thirsty when she gets home and I'm really concerned about her going all day without a drink.

I understand the issue with squash in the classroom but I'd even be happy to bring in a drink at lunchtime every day if it meant she wasn't getting dehydrated. Would this be an unreasonable request??

Also she has difficulties around eating at nursery. Most days she hasn't touched her lunch, even with lots of encouragement from the nursery assistants. Any suggestions on making sure she eats at school?

Sorry if these questions seem ridiculous, I'm just scared about the transition to primary school and I've been trying to contact the SENCO but I've had no luck.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 12/07/2022 22:31

I think that having an alternative drink is a reasonable adjustment. Though I know some parents who have got round the argument by using flavoured water, which at least looks like water in their drinks bottle...

OwlinaTree · 12/07/2022 22:31

Well she can't go all day without driving. Speak to the teacher about her having squash in a non see though bottle. The eating is more of a challenge, what do you think is stopping her eating at nursery?

MichelleScarn · 12/07/2022 22:31

Would she drink flavoured water or if you gave her an opaque bottle to take to school would they even know?

OwlinaTree · 12/07/2022 22:31

drinking🙄😂

OrangeIsTheNewBlah · 12/07/2022 22:33

I’d be less concerned about the eating, but surely being autistic she should be able to have a drink that she can actually drink?
Surely this would be a reasonable adjustment.

WitchDancer · 12/07/2022 22:33

Can you put her drink in a coloured bottle so they can't tell what's in it?

mrsfollowill · 12/07/2022 22:33

What does her water bottle look like? Send a non clear bottle filled with weak squash. Don't make an issue of it. She won't get into trouble but if anyone has a word with you raise her problems with them at that point. She needs to drink especially at the moment.

sjxoxo · 12/07/2022 22:34

I would say keep on at the SENCO. They should help you find some ways forward - can you give a boring, nam tagged, non transparent drinks bottle and give squash or whatever she will drink? Surely they’ll make an exception if she has a medical diagnosis for her sensory issues. Would she drink from a water fountain if they had one? Would she drink a warm drink? What about the lightly fruit flavoured water that is still clear..? Just a few ideas! Xx

MiniPiccolo · 12/07/2022 22:35

You can get squash flavour drops that dont change the colour of the water.

Hankunamatata · 12/07/2022 22:36

Mine have juice in their pack lunch. My asd dc loves his air up bottle (water but with smell capsule). Most often he doesnt have lunch, just drinks his drink. So only usually send in couple crackers and a bit of fruit.

MrsBlondie · 12/07/2022 22:37

Just give her squash and put in a non see through bottle. No-one would even know

Onceuponaheartache · 12/07/2022 22:37

@Lem0ndrizzl3 speak to the head. Reasonable adjustments have to be made for conditions such as ASD and medical conditions.

My dd has a health condition that means she has to keep hydrated or the meds can cause jaundice and in extreme cases liver failure. She will not drink water. She does however drink summer fruits squash. School are fine with it.

The big issue with squash is blackcurrant as it is a bladder irritant. Providing she will drink a different flavour I can't see that they would have an issue with it.

Changechangychange · 12/07/2022 22:38

mrsfollowill · 12/07/2022 22:33

What does her water bottle look like? Send a non clear bottle filled with weak squash. Don't make an issue of it. She won't get into trouble but if anyone has a word with you raise her problems with them at that point. She needs to drink especially at the moment.

This - if it is a yellow or pinkish bottle (or opaque) then you won’t cause trouble with other children (and their parents) complaining “Luella has squash, why can’t I”. Our school has a similar rule, and I am aware that an exception is made for the child with autism.

toomuchlaundry · 12/07/2022 22:38

One of the issues is having sticky drinks spilled in the classroom. Your DD could possibly have her drinks bottle away from her desk to help with any possible spillages.

Does she currently have nursery lunches or bring her own lunches in?

Cookiedough123 · 12/07/2022 22:38

Not seen the other thread but I am 29 and have always drank squash. I just can't take to drinking water. I have had water when I have been very dehydrated and had no squash but actively take my own bottle of juice everywhere with me. I work at a high school and never comment on what pupils drink. I would send her in a none see through bottle and wouldn't even mention it.

RaspberryRippleTipple · 12/07/2022 22:38

My DD takes (weak) squash in an opaque bottle.

I think she has had a gentle reminder once from her teacher that it should really be water, but other than that there’s been no comment of issues.

KatherineofGaunt · 12/07/2022 22:41

As a teacher I'd have no problems with your child having squash as long as it wasn't obvious to others (opaque bottle). It's absolutely a reasonable adjustment for a genuine issue.

If you can't get through to the SENCo, do you have any visit days at school or a home or nursery visit from the new teacher where you could mention it? If not, I'd wait until the first day, send your DD in with squash and speak to the teacher in the first instance. Then try and find the SENCo - I'd be surprised if they weren't available on the first day of school.

EmmiJay · 12/07/2022 22:42

My DD is autistic and the exact same. Doesn't understand why water has no taste 😅 so she's been a strictly lemon and lime water drinker. She has it in her lunch box and in another separate water bottle. Teachers and other nosy kids are none the wiser.

MyLordWizardKing · 12/07/2022 22:42

Not at all unreasonable. My son is also autistic and about to start school - luckily, he drinks water fine, but if he didn't then I'd send him in with squash in a opaque bottle, and I would be really surprised if the SENCO had a problem with it.

Silverbirch2 · 12/07/2022 22:46

If the squash is an issue for you then school should work to reduce it to water- either gradually dilute or she has a sip of water then juice and increase this.
If it's not a problem for you then just send a
Squash.
Same for the food, send a little of what she likes. If you want her to eat the school will work gradually towards this.
Put on EHCP as a target. ASD is no reason to not drink water or eat in school, it might be her habit at the moment but not an issue to change gradually, especially with new expectations in September.

Original poster
Lem0ndrizzl3 · 12/07/2022 22:47

Unfortunately they have stated she needs a transparent bottle. We have tried flavoured water in the past but it was a battle to get her to taste it and then she started gagging. But we may have to give it another go. If that doesn't work then hopefully they'll allow an opaque one.

Part of me thinks we should just try and get away with it, but if we were to get flagged up on it I feel like they would be less likely to believe me.

We aren't sure on her reason for not eating at nursery. Its not the food - she eats it fine at home. We think it might be that the environment is overwhelming but we really don't know and she just gets grumpy when we ask her.

OP posts:
Madasahattersteaparty1749 · 12/07/2022 22:49

My son is diagnosed ASD and they tried for 1 week in reception with water to which he refused and they asked me to bring in a squash bottle to keep at school and I bring in a new one every time they are running low.

We also had adjustments for lunch as he used to get so overwhelmed so he would go in before the other children, that was fine then noise was an issue so early with ear defenders, then an issue with people watching him so he effectively had his own little cubicle. He’s going into year 3 now still won’t touch water but no longer needs lunch hall adjustments .

The SENCOS are super busy with transitions but open a dialogue with them now. I contacted the school SENCO when my son got a place even before he was diagnosed and the year lead and SENCO actually came to visit him in nursery.

Motheranddaughtertotwo · 12/07/2022 22:52

Could you let her choose a flavoured water? I’ve not been able to drink plain water for about twenty years, it makes me vomit so I found a strong flavoured water which works for me.
If you can’t find an alternative then tell the school, I’m sure they’ll be fine about it. A fed and watered child is better for everyone. In terms of the food could you take a packed lunch?

DirtBag · 12/07/2022 22:54

WitchDancer · 12/07/2022 22:33

Can you put her drink in a coloured bottle so they can't tell what's in it?

In our school they sniff the drinks to make sure they're water

I wish I was joking.

PinkShimmerSparkle · 12/07/2022 22:55

I work in a Autism provision attached to a mainstream school, all the children I work with have various sensory issues a more common one is drinking water (it doesn’t apply to every child as some only drink water) a reasonable adjustment would be squash or flavoured water in their water bottle, speak to the school SENCo and explain, a good one will suggest this as an option. Also don’t panic about her eating but I suggest you send her in with a small packed lunch, not too much choice as this can be overwhelming when she will be trying to adjust/block out other sensory issues such as noise/light etc.

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