Asking for an exception to the 'water-only' rule at DD's school?

[Lem0ndrizzl3]

I know there's another discussion about water at school at the moment but it didn't really apply to my DDs situation. DD is starting primary school in September and she will not drink water. At all. She is autistic and has a lot of sensory issues around food and drink.

She currently attends half days at nursery 5 days a week and she is sent with water every day but will not even have a sip. She is always so thirsty when she gets home and I'm really concerned about her going all day without a drink.

I understand the issue with squash in the classroom but I'd even be happy to bring in a drink at lunchtime every day if it meant she wasn't getting dehydrated. Would this be an unreasonable request??

Also she has difficulties around eating at nursery. Most days she hasn't touched her lunch, even with lots of encouragement from the nursery assistants. Any suggestions on making sure she eats at school?

Sorry if these questions seem ridiculous, I'm just scared about the transition to primary school and I've been trying to contact the SENCO but I've had no luck.

My DD gets squash.

She wasn't drinking water so we gave her squash. School have never commented.

My DS got water then squash and back to water. All his choice. Again school have never commented.

A hydrated child is important.

Love the ignorance 😒

Op you say you cant contact the senco. This isn't good enough on the part of the school. If your child is autistic yoi need one to one meetings with everyone who will come into contact with her and I'm surprised they wouldn't have offered a senco meeting? Just email the head and say you are very concerned you haven't had your senco meeting and term is ending.

Sadly ...and my daughter is autistic...you have to be pushy.

@pogostickplastique - DS doesn't have autism but as a toddler he was plagued by chronic constipation, honestly it was controlling our life, he was in pain for days at a time. We couldn't get the medication into him because it needed to be mixed with water. It tasted awful. So we mixed it with squash and it honestly feels like it changed our life. His problem went but he still wouldn't drink water but would drink squash. I chose a child who could use the toilet, not be in pain and was happy over one that might possibly get some dental problems.

Can you give her flavoured water so that it looks the same? I think the school should be more accepting in the circumstances.

I sent ds with flavoured water in a normal drinks bottle. I had a massive row with the head who said he drank plain water or went without as he is autistic & refuses to drink plain water, the head then said that he had to keep hus drinks bottle with the flavoured water in his office & had to ask if he wanted a drink. I contacted the autism team at the education department who ripped him a new one & ds was finally allowed to have his drinks bottle on his desk. Before this ds was coming out of school when the weather was like it is now nearly passing out because he hadn't had a drink all day, he was so dehydrated he couldn't even manage to wee.

@Live4weekend my youngest did the same as your DS, mainly I think because the teachers were asking them what they had in their bottles and he was worried! He does choose water so home though so he must prefer it. I remember last year the teacher sending us a message saying 'please make sure your children bring a bottle of water to school, no squash. The children tell us if they have been given squash'!! What a weird thing for her to fixate on. Mine have always taken a drink anyway as they have packed lunches so I have just always given my eldest squash and they've never questioned it.

For the school to refuse would be disability discrimination.

We used to have blackcurrant squash in a blue coloured flask for 2 of the kids. Nobody ever said anything, one of the mums said they were probably just trying to stop people bringing in eg capri suns

I haven't lived in the UK with kids but it sounds like some sort of facist regime. I wouldn't be able to put up with such nonsense, fluids are fluids. The rest of the world have juice and I bet most of them have better teeth than Brits because we also have health care and dentists. Jeez, if someone took my kids drink away, I would go nuts.

You can get air up bottles. They have a pod you attach to the spout and it has the smell of a flavour that tricks your train into thinking it is flavoured water.

They are pricey at £35 so may not be best option for a reception child that may lose things.

I don't want a smell, I want squash! I think water bottles are gross spit havens. I would never drink from one.

Having juice in a bottle that she'll drink from is not an unreasonable request for an SEN child, in fact it's not unusual. I'd be surprised if the senco would say no to this.

My son will not drink water he's now 11 and just takes flavoured water in his bottle no one knows.

I love how loads of you think teachers in schools will never know who’s got juice in their water bottles! Trust me, we always know!
With regard to making reasonable adjustments, medically, there is no need for someone who is able to have a drink before and after school and at lunch time to also be drinking during lesson time. They will not get dehydrated! Obviously the present hot weather is a bit of an exception. Drinking juice throughout the day can have a massive impact on a child’s teeth, and I’d argue that having to have dental work as a result is far worse than not drinking for a few hours.
When I’ve had parents come to me with this issue (who’s children are diagnosed ASD) I’ve asked them to provide sugar free flavoured water as opposed to cordial and had a quiet word with the class teacher. I also suggest the parent provides a snack such as fruit which has a high water content and makes sure their child has a big drink before school. It’s amazing how many parents send their child in with unhealthy snacks whilst insisting they have free access to water for health reasons.
Surprisingly, yesterday in school after repeatedly encouraging children to have a drink of water when they came in from breaks, at the end of the day half of them still had almost full water bottles. Don’t send your child in with massive water bottles where the water gets too warm to taste nice - many of those children end up pouring that water away and then refill with cold water.
as far as I’m concerned as a teacher, the biggest issue with water bottles is spillage. Please, whatever you do, get your child a bottle with a pull up spout or built in straw. Bottles where the top has to be unscrewed to drink from are the bane of our lives because that’s how spills happen. There’s nothing worse than a full bottle being dropped onto someone’s exercise books, or as happened in my class a few weeks ago, onto an iPad even though my children are supposed to put their bottles on the side or floor when they have iPads out! Oh, and wash the bottles out properly - it’s amazing how dirty they get :(

Don’t be daft!

We aren't sure on her reason for not eating at nursery. Its not the food - she eats it fine at home. We think it might be that the environment is overwhelming but we really don't know and she just gets grumpy when we ask her.

Talk to the school about letting her eat her lunch in a separate room, perhaps with a friend or two. It might also be worth asking your doctor for a referral to a nutritionist who may well have come across these issues before and have some suggestions.

Never understood why it’s so bad to drink squash. My DS drinks water but that’s because he loves it. I grew up on squash.

Your questions aren't ridiculous OP, but be prepared that school will potentially treat you like they are. However a child who barely eats all day and drinks nothing with have problems concentrating. Add SEN on top and it's a recipe for disaster.

I think the truth is this rule varies from school to school and flexibility on issues like this will probably mean they will be better with dealing with SEN than schools unwilling to budge. Unfortunately, in our personal experience, the teachers at our primary had very little understanding of ASD. Particularly in girls. I remember early on being told by one teacher that "girls don't really get autism".

We found primary school for our eldest daughter a nightmare because of having to navigate stupid crap like "water only" rules on top of all the other added difficulties her SEN would bring. IMO things like this should be considered reasonable adjustments for someone with sensory issues. She ended up with constipation and headaches and was finally put on medication. It was a ridiculous outcome when it could have been cured by allowing her to drink watered down juice like she has at home. The school would say things like "when she's thirsty she'll drink". However anyone with experience with ASD knows what a ridiculous statement that is.

Unfortunately for us the water really just became the tip of the iceberg. They couldn't seem to connect her sensory issues to her social problems and ultimately to her learning difficulties in class. "She says it's too loud, but it's not at all" was another one we got. Looking back I thought they would get better when in fact we should have taken these early interactions for the red flags they were and looked for a better school.

The food issue is a tricky one and we went through similar. I'd ask school to keep a log of what she's eating and how much just to ensure she's having something. I actually found the lunchtime staff much more helpful than the teachers tbh. In the end we moved to packed lunches and that solved the issue. These days she has far fewer issues with food, it just took a lot of time (and worry). The drinking problem persists at 9 though.

Oh and just to add - my daughter started coming home in tears in year one because the lunch hall was so noisy. I asked about somewhere quiet for her and they gave her ear defenders. I was skeptical (was worried they'd made her stand out more) but she loved them and it made a huge difference to her being able to eat her lunch with the other kids.

I'd speak to the sendco as soon as possible. This is a relatively minor thing and if they're not willing to support on this it maybe a sign of things to come.

My ds has autism and has cordial in his bottle, I also send in a bottle every now and then when they need it so school can refill it. He has the bottle with him at all times.

Ask for a referal to the dietitian to help with eating, as a min it may reassure school that if she doesn't eat there it is ok. They may offer dietary supplements too to make sure she's getting what she needs.

Slso see if they can refer for sensory ot. They can help with environment, utensils, taste, texture programs etc.

All children should be aiming to have 6-8 drinks a day, the majority before 4pm (medical advice given to us). Not drinking enough can cause various issues including constipation and urinary incontinence and is a big cause of bedwetting. So restricting drinking before and after school and at lunch is not okay.

And children, like all human beings, should be able to drink when they are thirsty.

Teachers please just teach the kids. That is your job. This ridiculous obsession with squash is crazy. They need to drink so long as they aren't necking cans of Redbull a day it is none of your business.

Op, as others have said just keep on trying flavoured cleared water it if she won't drink it tell the teachers she will have whatever you provide, the end.

It's funny we put up with this bossy crap at primary school, over invested teachers checking lunch boxes and water bottles then they go to secondary school and no one would dare police what the kids consume!

Echoing lots of other people. Meet with the SENCO as early as possible. In my experience you will be needing many adjustments over the school years. And will also need to keep on top of any learning plans etc as sadly some teachers just do not follow them.

Squash sounds like a reasonable adjustment. Some of my kids friends have squash and they all have SEN needs. If parents want to complain about 'special treatment' that's for the school to deal with...

Flavoured water tipped into a normal water bottle?