Asking for an exception to the 'water-only' rule at DD's school?

[Lem0ndrizzl3]

I know there's another discussion about water at school at the moment but it didn't really apply to my DDs situation. DD is starting primary school in September and she will not drink water. At all. She is autistic and has a lot of sensory issues around food and drink.

She currently attends half days at nursery 5 days a week and she is sent with water every day but will not even have a sip. She is always so thirsty when she gets home and I'm really concerned about her going all day without a drink.

I understand the issue with squash in the classroom but I'd even be happy to bring in a drink at lunchtime every day if it meant she wasn't getting dehydrated. Would this be an unreasonable request??

Also she has difficulties around eating at nursery. Most days she hasn't touched her lunch, even with lots of encouragement from the nursery assistants. Any suggestions on making sure she eats at school?

Sorry if these questions seem ridiculous, I'm just scared about the transition to primary school and I've been trying to contact the SENCO but I've had no luck.

My son is autistic.

Hated water when he started school. Try the flavoured water again but get one in a really fancy lovely looking bottle and show it to her first. Get a similar flavour to the squash she drinks.

Regardless of whether that works, speak to the school. It is not an option for her not to drink so if flavoured water doesn't work, get a metal hype bottle (you can't see through them) and put squash in it. TELL THEM, don't ask. If they can't accommodate this, they don't understand autism and aren't the right school.

My son started drinking water in year 3 but we didn't push it too far.

Re lunches, is there something she will eat? Packed lunch? Jacket potato? My son's school cook him the one item he will always eat any day that the main menu has only things he won't. He decided in the morning and tells them. Sometimes they cook his favourite food plus a small amount of what's on the menu if it's a new thing. That way he can try it without pressure. Occasionally he likes the new item and will then have it once the menu rolls around to that day again.

Good luck. This can all be sorted, just needs an amazing head teacher!

@Soontobe60

It's not that daft. Reasonable adjustment should be expected here.

@Soontobe60 you might know but why do you care so much? Cordial is different to sugar free squash which is what my son has and millions of people probably grew up drinking (including me and I had my first filling last year at aged 37) honestly what kids drink really shouldn't be the schools problem if all they are having is sugar free squash. If they were bringing in cans of energy drink or coke, fair enough!

Meant to add to my comment above, don't send flavoured water or squash without speaking to them, it's hiding her true needs and they need the full picture. This isn't going to be the only adjustment they might need to make or support they need to give over her time at school so they might as well get used to it now!

Be polite but firm!

I have three children in my current reception class who have squash or flavoured water, for various medical reqsons, including autism. The one who has squash has an opaque bottle so none of the children can tell.

Discuss it with the class teacher, and SENCO if necessary, don't just try to "hide" it!

I’m retired now but was an infant teacher for almost 40 years. I could write a list of why I retired early. It was all of the ridiculousness basically.
On the list in my head was schools insistence on policing what children brought in from home to eat and drink. Parents have brought their children up for 5 years and they are the only experts with their children. Therefore they know what they need to eat and drink not the teachers.
Obviously I’m not talking about the children who have cans of fizzy drinks and a cold Mac Donald’s from the night before. Unless of course that was for specified medical need.
Dilute the squash to disguise it or keep reinforcing to the school that your child has a particular reason for having it.
Good luck, if your child was in my class and you had shared this info with me I would feel no need to report you to the chief!

@Soontobe60 It is because attitudes like yours as to why my autistic DD was hospitalised over the weekend with severe constipation and UTI. Her school refuses to allow juice also and she will flat out refuse water to the point she would end up in hospital. She was so thirsty last week every day coming out of school, as she had not drunk all day because of this. In this heat how is that at all acceptable. And your attitude as a teacher is concerning regarding your views on an autistic child, clearly you have no experience of a child who will refuse water not because they are being awkward but as they have a disability.

ASD is absolutely a reason why a kid will not drink water. You seem to have poor understanding of the condition. What works for one kid will not work for another.

@TimeToGoUpAGear I agree in principle with telling not hiding, but if needs must....

HNRTT and I would hope the school make a reasonable adjustment regarding water. Would a packed lunch help with lunch or a side room if the benefits outweighed the costs? Would need to check but I think most children at school when I went to school didn't take water bottles nor drink at school and survived even during heatwaves. Water fountains went unused. I send DC with water bottles (opaque metal) but am mildly surprised at the life-threatening consequences some PPs have stated. I know children can become dehydrated, equally have seen complete rubbish stated as fact - 'drink and hold the water in the mouth so it can hydrate the brain' was stated as fact by a firm that I think was paid by the UK government or schools.

Tell the school. Use a metal water bottle so other children don't notice and get jealous/ vocal. It's worth trying flavoured water out too, but my middle one has never taken to those.

@Zilla1 My daughter wouldn't drink water at all but it was literally the only thing on offer to her at school. So her water bottle would come home full and untouched and she wouldn't drink the water on the table at lunchtime either. So she would be going from 8:00 to gone 3:00 every day without a drink. She wouldn't then get home and gulp down a drink. it would still be a struggle to get her to have anything at all. But at least she would sip at squash if we persisted. This is what people aren't realising I think. A child who doesn't drink because of SEN doesn't suddenly start downing fluids at 3pm everyday. The issue is deeper. So naturally over time this causes issues because they are ending up dehydrated.
When I was at school no water bottles were on offer throughout the day either. However when I got my packed lunch out my mum would have sent me a carton of ribena (which no one seemed to care about back in the 90s). So at least I'd had a drink half way through my day. The kids we're talking about here are having nothing because of the rigid school policies and lack of understanding regarding their SEN.

There is no 'needs must' here. The law is on OPDD side.

Because they spat water out from whenever you were supposed to introduce it. Would not drink cow milk later. (Makes them have tummy ache) Would only have formula in a bottle at the correct temperature.

At some point you have to find something they will drink. We got it down to very very weak squash but never to pure water. Even now won't really drink water (Y11)

Most school allow juice in there pack lunches so send her with a packed lunch and juice at least she will have a drink then

@parenthood1989 yes

@CometCupidDonnerBlitzen I'm not defending rigid policies nor am I saying that every child can cope without drinking during the school day.

Medics would disagree. Some children do have reason to drink during the day other than at lunch.

My school is sensible the child can drink what they can drink as long as its not fizzy etc water is encouraged promoted provided but squash is allowed they don't keep the drinks on their desks they have them on the side wall away from electric items and books

I would have thought that if she has been diagnosed as autistic and will have SENCO support when she starts primary school, they will almost certainly make some adjustments for her.

I think a PP suggested that if she drinks squash at home, you could also try gradually making it weaker and weaker over time to gradually acclimatise her to water.

As a last resort ... if she has to take a transparent bottle, does it have to be colourless? Transparent just means see-through, not colourless. So I'm wondering if you could pull off some kind of deception by getting a transparent plastic bottle that's the same colour as her preferred squash. Would probably only work if it was a non-cloudy squash though - I don't think you'd manage it with orange or lemon but you could probably give it a shot with, say, weak blackcurrant...

• @Soontobe60

With regard to making reasonable adjustments, medically, there is no need for someone who is able to have a drink before and after school and at lunch time to also be drinking during lesson time. They will not get dehydrated!
*
Utterly ridiculous. A child should have 6/8 drinks a day. Most before 4pm. That's not counting for this scorching heat.

THAT will cause far more damage than some very weak sugar free squash or flavoured water that a child will enjoy drinking, to keep themselves hydrated throughout the day, lesson time or not.

OP, the school should have experience of waster refusers. My DS is starting primary school in September with suspected ASD (no diagnosis yet). He actually does drink water, but the Reception teacher made a point of asking me if he did while we were discussing his needs and said that in the past they have allowed squash in an opaque bottle. I would suggest talking to the class teacher not the SENCO in this instance.

As for the eating, does your DD have a packed lunch at nursery or is it the nursery food she won't eat? My DS refuses most nursery food, I'm confident that the ability to send in a packed lunch is going to help but we will be specifying support with eating on his EHCP. We have also negotiated that we will send in an alternative morning snack as DS is unlikely to eat the free fruit. Again, all via the class teacher not the SENCO.

*water refusers!

Thank you all for your advice. It's all really reassuring. I'll stand my ground with them when I do finally get a meeting. We have a lot of things to discuss regarding her support needs in school and although the class teacher seemed to be really on the ball at first it seems to have dropped off.

DD was meant to have a visit last week but it was cancelled due to covid, but she is going in tomorrow so hopefully I can atleast speak to the teacher. I've also got a last minute appointment with the SENCo at her nursery this afternoon so I will try and get some advice from her too.

DD has had food and drink issues since she was a baby. She was seen by a dietician at 13mo because she refused any solids and would be sick. We were encouraged to try squash with her to get her used to new flavours but in a texture she was familiar with. It helped massively, but now it's all she wants to drink. We have really tried to encourage water but she would rather suffer than drink it. I know people say "they'll drink if they're thirsty" but it's really not the case with ASD. I have no regrets about giving her squash because her being hydrated and actually eating food is much more important to me than it being "bad".

She takes a packed lunch to nursery and it's very simple. A sandwich and some fruit. She will always eat this at home but its hardly ever touched at school. She's most likely to eat her fruit but again it's not a guarantee.

We will try some flavoured water again (the food colouring idea sounds like the way to start) and if we have no progress then it'll be squash and theyll just have to deal with it.

What about these water bottles that you can add real fruit ? Can't remember what they are called? Maybe fruit infuser ?