To think this is an insurmountable menu challenge?

[heelhunk]

I thought I could cope with a family gathering with a range of dietary requirements, but I've just had two last-minute vegans added into the mix.
So now I've got to provide lunch and tea for 13, including two coeliacs, one also dairy-free, one diabetic, one wholly carb-free, one high protein, one vegetarian, the two surprise vegans and a teenager who seems only to eat cucumber and cheese free pizza. The remaining guest are big eaters, who love their puddings.

Shall I emigrate, or develop strategic Covid?

What's high protein mean?

Lentils?

Boiled potatoes and hot dogs? You can have one or both depending on your needs.

I wouldn't have a clue where to start with that
Best of luck

I would be asking for donations /assistance

Wow! I'd say the way forward here is a buffet with everything clearly labelled and kept apart to minimise cross-contamination.

Surely the carb-free person and the high-protein person have very similar needs?

Massive pot of lentil and bean chilli and a selection of suitable accompaniments could work. Get pittas, rice, couscous, some salad. Anyone who can’t find something to eat, tough!

Bloody hell. Are all those different people, or do some have multiple issues?

What’s the breakdown of guests in numbers e.g. 8 eats everything, 2 vegans etc etc?

Group them together.

Vegetarian, dairy free and vegans all get a vegan option, covers all.

High protein can also be carb free and potentially gluten free also.

Don't over complicate it. A lot of dietary requirements can cross over to find a suitable option to cover most of them.

As a vegan I would be grateful to have an option even if it had to meet an additional requirement also

www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/burnt-aubergine-veggie-chilli

would this be suitable as long as you use gluten free stock?

But I agree that is a ridiculous set of requirements to have to contend with!

Big pot of chilli would cover the coeliac, low carb, high protein, dairy free and diabetes, coukd serve with cauliflower rice. Veg chilli for the vegans? I'd just let the teenager crack on with his pizza and cucumber.

The saving grace is that dairy free/vegan/vegetarian overlap quite a bit.

'High protein' I wouldn't pay much attention to unless there's actually a medical reason for it.

Gluten free and carb free, though, are going to make the vegan bit harder.

I would look towards buffet style meals, quite honestly, and prioritise the food allergies - Gluten and dairy - as definite nos.

Some sort of chickpea curry or north African flavour stew. Optional flat bread sides. Something like this www.theguardian.com/food/2020/jul/11/yotam-ottolenghi-chickpea-recipes-confit-tandoori-polenta-chips-parmesan-braise

Various side salads (including cucumber) and use the flat breads to make a "pizza" for the teenager.

How about a vegan curry with a choice of cauliflower rice or regular rice? With lots of lentils and chickpeas for protein. And stick a pizza in for the awkward teenager.

But yes, you are definitely not being unreasonable. Sounds like a bloody nightmare!

Curries, dhal. I'm thinking some kind of chickpea flour bread type thing, is that coeliac friendly?

I get dietary requirements but low card/high protein is surely a choice!

I'd be asking everyone to bring a dish that has all of these elements.

OR

Everyone bring a dish they are happy to eat

Shouldn't be on you to sort this it's ridiculous!

Something like fajitas

normal wraps/GF wraps/large lettuce leaves for no-carb

chicken/veggies/quorn/mushrooms etc fried in seasoning separately

salad
guacamole
Sour cream
salsa
grated cheese

tortilla chips

beans
rice

Something rice based - maybe curry, then choice of two mains, sweet potato based for the vegan and dairy/gluten free freepeople. chicken based for everyone else. Add naan and a decent quantity of daal for those wanting high protein.

I did a buffet a few years back for a slightly larger group than that. Most people had no dietary requirements but one person was coeliac, a couple were vegetarian and one was trying to avoid all dairy.

I did this, which is vegan, very good, fairly quick and not all that difficult to make: www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jun/09/meera-sodha-recipe-tomato-pistachio-saffron-tart-vegan

I also did hummus, a walnut and mushroom pate (dairy free), various salads, lots of cheese, cold chicken with a spicy nutty topping, and bread.

So it's doable but you need to be very organised. Enlist help if you can.

Green salad for everyone with extras in dishes in the middle for people to add in, sliced chicken, crispy bacon, real cheese, vegan cheese, nuts, olives, apple / pear, some nice vegan chutneys, sliced boiled potatoes, sliced eggs.

Cut some crusty bread last so there’s no contamination for the coeliac.

Fruit salad with optional meringues and vegan ice cream.

Let everyone assemble a meal to suit themselves.

Tell them all to bring their own pack lunch 🤣 I would 100% not be catering for that level of fussiness!

So now I've got to provide lunch and tea for 13, including two coeliacs, one also dairy-free, one diabetic, one wholly carb-free, one high protein, one vegetarian, the two surprise vegans and a teenager who seems only to eat cucumber and cheese free pizza. The remaining guest are big eaters, who love their puddings are the carb free and high protein for medical or religious reasons?

I think they can all eat cucumber so that just leaves pudding

If you omit the sausages, this fits the bill and is very yummy:

www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pork-recipes/sausages-and-green-lentils-with-tomato-salsa-salsicce-con-lenticchie-verdi-e-salsa-di-pomodoro/

Good shout

I'd be asking everyone to bring a dish that has all of these elements. good idea, bring and share