To think this is an insurmountable menu challenge?

[heelhunk]

I thought I could cope with a family gathering with a range of dietary requirements, but I've just had two last-minute vegans added into the mix.
So now I've got to provide lunch and tea for 13, including two coeliacs, one also dairy-free, one diabetic, one wholly carb-free, one high protein, one vegetarian, the two surprise vegans and a teenager who seems only to eat cucumber and cheese free pizza. The remaining guest are big eaters, who love their puddings.

Shall I emigrate, or develop strategic Covid?

A meat and a veg curry or chilli, w rice.
meringue nests, bowl of berries, bowl of cream.

Vegans and keto don't mix. Do a buffet.

Lentils I think are ok?

inwoild do a meat free chilli with all the sides.

rice/jacket potatoes and salad as an accompaniment and then fruit salad for pudding.

Ridiculous expecting you to cater to that lot . Go out for dinner or ask everyone to bring their own and you'll heat it up

Lots of these suggestions sound great, thank you all, but it is going to be so hot this weekend that I was aiming for a cold buffet, apart from wedges made from potato, and sweet potato and butternut squash.

High Protein is recovering from a long hospital stay and been advised to maximise protein intake. You are right that there are groups, and that is an easier way to think of it.

I can do some sort of fruit salad with a vegan topping , but I'm flummoxed about the other puddings. Does anyone know if Hartley Jelly Crytals are actually vegan, or only vegetarian? I could come up with some sort of mousse or trifle using nut milks.

Ignore the high protein and low carb crap. They are preferences not requirements. And they’re rude to express. The others less so. The teenager can find something or not eat, don’t pander to that, do the veggies as something vegan and that covers the dairy free crap too. The only ones you actually need to be really careful of are celiac.

who Are these people? I entertain a lot and other than the odd preference for no tomatoes people always tend to find something they can eat

Buffet. Cold meats. Cocktail sausages, Cheese, green salad, potatoes, rice, hummus, olives, crackers, flat breads, fruit kebabs, veg crudités and dips, bean salad, couscous, mini pizzas.

Keep meat separate.

Or serve ice cubes

High Protein is recovering from a long hospital stay and been advised to maximise protein intake. You are right that there are groups, and that is an easier way to think of it

and quite frankly for one day they can just have where Ed protein you provide:

Burgers, chips and salad. With vegan burgers / gluten free buns for those that require them. No chips / bun for the low carb / high protein, maybe extra cheese & salad for them.

Dessert - fruit

EMIGRATE

For those saying 'low carb' 'high protien' are purely preferences and to be ignored, maybe consider the chance that someone is eating a keto diet to help manage a medical condition. Not purely a lifestyle choice. No different to a choice of being vegan/vegetarian.

Pudding could be vegan Eton mess....vegan meringue and coconut whipped cream with strawberries through.....Id guess most would enjoy that.

Hartley's Jelly isn't even vegetarian going by the packet in my cupboard.

Lunch ;
3 bean chilli, jacket potatoes, guacamole.
Salad (including cucumber) grated cheese pic and mix.

Tea- crustless quiche, rice salad, maybe some cold cuts, more salad,fafelal or houmous for the vegan...Plenty of veg sticks

nutriciously.com/chickpea-cookie-dough/ vegan - tick
protein - tick
Sounds disgusting tbh but might work?

I eat low carb to avoid blinging migraines and IBS. Which I won't wish on you, even though I'm tempted.

@MrsTerryPratchett do just eat the bits which you can eat. Don’t expect someone catering for a group to do you special food. I don’t eat carbs if o can help it but there is always something I can eat and I know as a guest I’m being fussy so I don’t expect someone who is catering for a big group to specifically cater for me:

Fajita/taco & salad bar- chicken , peppers/onions, salad, salsa, guacamole, cheese, sour cream and tortillas. People can mix and match based on needs. Maybe black beans too for vegans to get some protein.

Buddha bowls?

I'd do a big salad, maybe with roasted butternut squash, puy lentils green leaves and pomegranate. Non vegans can add halloumi or even grilled chicken.
Maybe add a rice salad type dish too.
Add bread for those who eat it.. get a pack of gf ciabatta.

How about a BBQ?

Two separate grills - one veggie and one meat.

Table of extras - bread (gf and ‘normal’), salad, cheese, etc.

Then everyone can just take the bits they can eat.

Selection of Sorbets for pudding, maybe a chocolate tart made with nut flour ?

One vegan chilli/curry, one meat chilli/curry and some rice. Job done.

Why does the same not apply to the fussy teen and the vegans?

Ugh. This sort of thing is my nightmare. I just think, I'm cooking for you. Eat it or don't eat it and fucking say thank you.

Maybe do a pot luck? Everyone has to bring something to share, your bit could be something you actually like!