To think this is an insurmountable menu challenge?

[heelhunk]

I thought I could cope with a family gathering with a range of dietary requirements, but I've just had two last-minute vegans added into the mix.
So now I've got to provide lunch and tea for 13, including two coeliacs, one also dairy-free, one diabetic, one wholly carb-free, one high protein, one vegetarian, the two surprise vegans and a teenager who seems only to eat cucumber and cheese free pizza. The remaining guest are big eaters, who love their puddings.

Shall I emigrate, or develop strategic Covid?

Indian buffet spread - tandoori chicken, salad, rice, dal, allo gobi, roti. It's coeliac friendly, use coconut dairy free yogurt for the tandoori chicken, vegans can eat the rice, dal and allo gobi. No carb can not eat the rice, teen can eat roti and cucumber!

And by the way I do normally eat around the carbs but a vegan chilli or curry? Bleaugh and also impossible to eat around.

Now that's a good idea!

Indian food is great on a hot day

Actually I've changed my mind, this is the right solution

Why is everyone assuming that the people with these requirements are being rude and demanding?

OP reads as if they are hosting a gathering, have asked requirements and are now moaning about trying to accommodate. A lot of people with requirements would likely be happy to come and just eat what they were able too. I have been to many occasions where I eat just salad or rice because everything else has dairy/meat. But if I'm asked what my requirements are I will say and be grateful that someone may accommodate.

OP if you can't manage all of the requirements tell your guests that. They will likely be understanding

@MrsTerryPratchett if you see my previous post you’ll see it totally relates to the fussy teen. I wouldn’t pander to someone who only eats cucumber and cheese free pizza. And most meals have some kind of vegetables so that’s covered too. I would probably do a veggie dish rice and salad and that covers off pretty much anyone. Anyone who only eats cucumber can bring their cucumber with them.

Just buy this

I don't see why somebody should say thank you to a host who's invited them but has failed to provide food they can eat without getting ill.

And by the way I do normally eat around the carbs but a vegan chilli or curry? Bleaugh and also impossible to eat around

perfectly possible to eat around, just don’t have rice. The fact you don’t like it isn’t the OP’s problem. .

Gah posted without the link!
www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/lazy-day-foods-free-from-celebration-chocolate-cake-650g-serves-10-?istCompanyId=1e096408-041f-4238-994e-a7cf46bf9413&istFeedId=689af7a8-5842-4d88-be59-1ee5688a81b5&istItemId=ilpmxlaxl&istBid=t&&cmpid=cpc&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=15424330555&utm_content=shopping&utm_term=%257bsku%257d&utm_custom1=129852755749&utm_custom2=759-449-0952&gclid=CjwKCAjwt7SWBhAnEiwAx8ZLahOR4O-hmrsWwljEGUTRyjWZkoFC6Lg3kqPxe-qZqHyxRoXQryjdWxoCX-cQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Gluten free, dairy free and vegan

I like everything, except kidneys! We eat a lot of vege and vegan meals anyway, so it would be fairly easy if I wasn't after a cold buffet.
Most of the requirements have medical advice behind them, and I've seen the difference the very low carb has made to that person, so I'm willing to try to provide something that works.

I like the wraps/ fajitas ideas, and I have some GF wraps in the freezer. I can make one meal around that.
Maybe the second can be plain cold chicken, or Coronation Chicken, or falafels with a range of salads. Wedges or bread for those who can.

Puds -cold rice made with coconut milk and topped with brulee sugar
Vegan ice creams and sorbets
A GF cake.
Can I buy vegan meringues - no time to make them.

Do Lidl do vegan snacky bits?

BBQ / buffet prob easiest

Mains: chicken/ burgers / sausages / side of salmon / vege (beyond meat is good)

Sides: halloumi (on bbq) / coleslaw / potato salad (get vegan mayo) / pasta salad, and gluten free pasta salad (get a vegan pesto on both)/ salad/ hummus/ olives /crisps (check flavours for gluten and dairy). Baked potatoes / sweet potatoes with optional feta also easy for a crowd and tasty and filling.

Pudding: fruit, sorbet (dairy and gluten free), ice cream (can get vegan ice cream too), whatever you fancy yourself!

Evening: leftovers, cheese, salami etc, nice bread and crackers (vegan can have hummus / olives; gluten free get GF bread)

Sainsburys is great for free from stuff (pasta etc) if you want to buy ready made.

m&s and most high meat sausages and burgers are naturally dairy and gluten free, chicken and salmon high protein

The free from cake is a godsend.

I want to provide food everyone can enjoy - these are all people I like. I just wish I'd had longer to plan

Lots of different dishes, hot buffet style, so that everyone has something they can eat. If you try to sit them all down and present one main meal it will be a nightmare!

What about olive oil chocolate mousse? Would be gluten free and vegetarian obviously. Not vegan but I did think you have to suck up only having one option generally if you have dietary requirements. I've been to more than one thing where the catering for vegans has meant there's no pudding I can eat and where I've had to bring my own main (I can't eat pulses or légumes).

You supply the drink.they supply their food!

This is basically every family gathering for us. We always do a big old buffet that is well labelled in terms of what's in each thing.

Some ideas for puddings
Chocolate avocado vegan mousse, BBC News food has some easy recipes.
Swedish Glacé vegan ice-cream, most supermarkets stock it, serve with summer berries.
Rhubarb and orange compote, quick and easy, make it the day before.
Homemade sorbet, mango works well, or that old favourite classic orange & lemon.
Affogato, if you found a good vanilla ice cream that was suitable for a few of your guests.
You could also perhaps put out small plates of various biscuits, mini meringues etc, to go with the above.
Or you could develop that idea and serve Café Gourmand, a coffee with two or three mini puddings per person, eg vegan brownies, fruit sorbet, fruit jelly.

Vegetarians don’t eat the same as vegans.

It’s already hard enough to find veggie food without taking away dairy!

(I’m pescetarian, high protein, low carb and allergic to tomatoes. I self cater almost everywhere!)

Oh gosh that's quite a set of requirements. The only thing I can think of for pudding is you can make a chocolate mousse out of chickpea water- as in the water in the can of chickpeas. It sounds like hell in a bowl but it is actually very nice and I think everyone can eat it on your list!

https://theloopywhisk.com/2018/08/07/3-ingredient-vegan-chocolate-mousse-aquafaba/

(Sorry I can't vouch for this exact recipe, I can't find the one I used before )

I think if people are going to someone else's house to be fed they should be grateful and appreciate what is put in front of them. I may make exceptions for polite vegetarians as I was one for about 15 years. The low carb high protein brigade can do one.

I wouldn't bother doing any cooking, you should be fine with olives, marinated artichokes, hummus, falafels, vegan sausage rolls, lots of crisps, gluten free oatcakes, big salad.

Gluten free tortillas and guacamole for the coeliacs / vegans.

French sticks and a cheeseboard for everyone else

Get some goats cheese and vegan cheese and naice chutneys if you're feeling kind.

I'm amenable but fuck that. High protein can have a shake, clump the rest together as suggested or just say byo.