DH keeps on and on

[Abak123]

AIBU or is DH?
I had a dd just under 6 weeks ago and also have a DS who is (4). My DH keeps going on and on saying you should take both DD and DS out every day.

I am absolutely knackered my newborn has me up ever 3 hours and I drop my DS off to
preschool for 08:30 - 5 mornings a week.

once I pick DS up I come home,
make lunch for everyone. He goes oh you should take DS to the park/farm/soft play or text Sarah or Mel to see if they fancy a play date. I do take DS out but currently twice a week - he expects it every day!! He hasn’t done one night feed, plus I think it will be the summer holidays so have got 6 weeks to fill out and hopefully I’ll feel back to normal.

he does wfh so I stay downstairs and mostly in the garden - to not disturb him.

AIBU and should take them out every day!

Ask him when he decided he was your manager

You arrange your day however you see fit

Tell him to sod off

Is the OP not likely to have thought of all that?

Can't people work out how they want to spend their days without being told? (or offered lots of 'helpful' suggestions)

He's so selfish, he obviously just wants you out of the house and doesn't give a damn about your needs at 6 weeks pp.

@NumberTheory you sound just as much a smug know-it-all as him

Why isn't he doing nursery drop-offs?

You do whatever you can manage and works for you. I'm 3 weeks PP with DD2 and I actually find it easier being out than in so I've chosen to do the nursery runs and we tend to go out to something every day as I need that for my own mental health, but the difference is that it's my choice and if I didn't want to then no way would my DH be passing judgment on it (and he would be doing the nursery stuff too if I didn't want to!).

Didn't you post about this just the other day? What's changed?

He sounds a real charmer

Tell him he is the one who needs to get out more. Whether its going back to the office or taking the child to the park so you can nap.

Please point out that maternity leave is for the body to recover a very traumatic time, its not for fun times.

I’m really annoyed for you about every thing you’ve said. How dare he commandeer the house. If you work from home, you make a room an office and no one pussyfoots round you.

The fucker works from home and can't bring himself to do a single night feed? What time does he work? Surely HE can take the kids to the park and give you a minutes peace?
No you don't have to take the kids out every day. It's hot and he's at school all day, it would be too much for him to go to bloody softplay or the park every day anyway.

You should do exactly what you feel like doing.

I think this is definitely it ^

This. You take care of them all day. He walks them out after sitting all day everyday. Tell him something he can understand : Imagine someone cut your balls off six weeks ago and I told you to go on for a LONG walk... With two kids. Yup. Off you go.

@AnyFucker - Wank thing to say without any explanation. What is smug about agreeing that the OP is doing a fine job and giving suggestions for something she's expressed concern about?

Tell him to help you get more sleep, sod off back to the office, go and boil his head or any combination of the three.

If he's that exercised by it he can take them out himself, can't he.

OP, it would be graceful if your DH dropped off your DS for preschool. Failing that, it would be helpful if he would use that time to prepare lunch for you all for later in the day.

As PPs say, you're only 6 weeks post-partum and you're not getting much sleep. If you and the DC want to siesta in the cool of the house or play with water in the garden, that's fine.

There are noise-cancelling apps that your DH could use if he's concerned about noise in meetings when he WFH. If he's concerned that he might be disturbed, that's what headphones are for.

Look after yourself.

What does he know?? Ask him ''What do you know about this at all?'' - or perhaps about anything!? Tell him to show you by examples of doing whatever he is saying for the next 3 -6 weeks doing it himself so you can ''learn''!.

Less than 6 weeks after birth you are still physically recovering I’d remind him.
You sound like you are doing plenty. Sleep deprivation night after night is hard.
If he did breakfast and took his son to nursery some days before work you could stay in bed and catch up a bit.
I wouldn’t worry about activities.
By make us all lunch I assume you are making him lunch - does he ever make for you and children.
I’d save bigger trips for holidays if your son won’t be at preschool then.

Why doesn't he take them out if he feels so strongly about it?

Tell him to bugger off.

Look after yourself and only do whatever you feel comfortable doing. Your 6 week old won't have a clue if you're at home or at a play date.

Tell him to shut up. If he's worried about a social life for a newborn he can facilitate it.

My DH keeps going on and on saying you should take both DD and DS out every day.

To which the only sane answer is "who the fuck do you think you are? Do I tell you how to order your day? No. So kindly shut up. When YOU are 6 weeks post partum, you can have an opinion."

Can he not take DS to preschool if he works from home?

And you absolutely do not need to take them both out. In fact taking a 6 week baby out in this heat is super stressful and totally unnecessary.