Friend didn't ask me to be godmother ....

[ashelyf]

Hiya hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine.
I'm trying my best not to be hurt /upset about this but here goes.
My closest friend of 20 years has a son,who is 4 years old.
My friend is Spanish but has lived in this country longer than she's lived in Spain but her family only really speak Spanish.
She doesn't have a big circle of friends just me and this other lady (who is also Spanish and is friends through work with my friends partner)
We chat most days and she rings me when she wants a rant etc
Yesterday her other friend posted a pic on Facebook of my friends son sat with balloons holding a card asking her to be godmother.
Bare in mind a month ago my friend whilst chatting told me she hadn't seen this friend in a year and she couldn't be bothered with her as she wasn't chatting much and short replies.

Now the other sucker punch ..she hasn't even invited me to the christening.
She has spoke about it to me,never told me a date and just said we are keeping it small with only 16 guests.

I take interest in her son,always ask her to go to the farm /circus together but she always says he will be bored as I have no kids yet.
I buy him birthday /Xmas presents -thoughtful things he will like
Randomly get him pjs or whatever I see
Easter eggs etc
So it's not like I show no interest.

So how can she pick this other girl over me when just the other month she was saying she didn't have time for her etc
I'm honestly so hurt -aibu?

I'm not going to mention it to her because obviously it's her choice and maybe her partner feels more comfortable as her other friend speaks Spanish etc and his English isn't great.

@LaBrujaPiruja
Just for the record none of my family have godparents who are married to each other. So I'm not sure it is tradition. In my experience one parent chooses one and the other parent chooses the other

@AppleCharlottie

Traditionally, I said.

Up to the 70s and 80s the ‘normal’ use would have been to have a married couple as godparents, family or very close friends of the parents.

In later years this is not the norm anymore. High incidence of divorce, as everywhere else, so it is best to choose two friends or family members who are not married. Only one of my Spanish friends have chosen for her children godparents who are married, but this is a very traditional family so no divorces, hehehe.

Yes, some people choose a godparent from one side of the couple/family and another one from the other side. But there are no rules. In my friendship circle in Spain, children born from the early 2000s to now, the godparents have been parents’ siblings and close friends.

An old tradition still in use in what we could call the upper classes…
In a traditional wedding the father of the bride walks her to the altar (and stays there for the ceremony) while the mother of the groom does the same for her son. They are the ‘padrinos’ of the wedding and leave the church together and after the newly married couple. When the first child of the couple is born, the godparents (padrinos!) are the grandparents that were not padrinos at the wedding. So the godparents are the new dad’s father and the new mum’s mother.

I don't think being someone's godmother is necessary a reflection on your friendship (otherwise I'd have no friends!). I'm not the godmother to any of my friends children including my own nephews! Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Up to the 70s and 80s the ‘normal’ use would have been to have a married couple as godparents, family or very close friends of the parents.

@LaBrujaPiruja
I'm sure you're correct re Spain, and that's where the OP is interested in, but I was just pointing out that it wasn't traditional in Ireland (as you had mentioned Irish Catholics), at least not up until the 70s and 80s. I'm not sure what the custom was a century ago, but I was born in the 60s so I'm fairly familiar with the Irish customs of the last 50 years or so. Grandparents and siblings were the usual choice when I was a baby, with one godparent chosen to represent each side of the family. More recently, DH and I also chose siblings from both sides of the family as godparents to our children and this seems quite usual still. Friends are sometimes asked too of course, but I think more rarely.

I wondered if the OP's friend had already chosen the godfather from her side of the family...it would mean the choice of the godmother would be from her husband's side. It might offer a possible explanation to OP.

Then this friend is fake piece of shit. Trust me, one of my closest friends didn't even make me the godfather of one of his kids, so I know what it's like, sis.💔😤

Well, I,m Spanish catholic (my mum´s English CofE). My daughter´s godparents are my brother and my husband´s sister. I only had family and three very close neighbours who are involved with my daughter. I invited my best friend but she couldn´t make it in the end. I think they have chosen someone who is relevant to both of them and then close family. To me a christening is a private family affair.
My godparent´s are my grandmother and one of my uncles as my mother´s side were CofE and couldnt be godparents, just witnesses.

Your relationship is with the woman, the other person is friends with both and introduced them? This is probably why as without her being in their lives she wouldn’t have a kid, so I get it. Not inviting you though when you are close might sting a bit but if they’re only having 16 is it all family or friends of both?