DS is gay - reposting for traffic

[MamaCathy73]

Hello,

My DS is 16 and he is gay. He came out a few years ago, and DH and I have done our best to support him since. We are, and always have been, tolerant towards everyone and their sexual identity. However, our son recently accused us of being anti-LGBTA as we did not want to attend Pride with him. While we wanted to support him, we are vulnerable and are scared of Covid, so because of that, did not go. How should we deal with him? He is very upset with us, and our efforts so far have not worked.

Thank you!

Fgs people jumping on others and taking offence where clearly none is intended.

if you didn’t want to go to pride then you absolutely shouldn’t, however just because the teen kicked back against it doesn’t mean you were in the wrong. Like others have said maybe he needs more reassurance if your acceptance but that doesn’t necessarily mean you enduring a trip out to a pride event

Could it be much more about being 16 than being gay?
I'm sure there are some parents who can do no wrong in their teens' eyes, but not many!

Tbh I think I'd tell him to grow up, stop being so self obsessed and think of someone else for a change. It's not like you're refusing Pride then fucking off to Glastonbury, you don't want to go anywhere crowded and catch a virus that could kill you.

My little niece has cancer and basically no immune system so I do sympathise and seeing people go on about living with covid really fucks me off. I had a right go at someone in Asda the other day because he commented on her wearing a mask.

Told him no she can't fucking live with it, that's the whole point you sanctimonious fucking prick. She is having chemo and radiotherapy, the common fucking cold could kill her, never mind covid. He fell over himself apologising but honestly I could've punched him. Some people really need to think before they give their opinion.

@NightmareSlashDelightful
Correct. Except that you posted about how you framed it, in some detail, on a public forum. Which makes it, if not my business, at least open to comment.

Totally, you're welcome to comment 😏I just don't care that you feel offended about how I converse with my dc about being LGB 😂.

Fgs people jumping on others and taking offence where clearly none is intended.

I know! The way LGBTQ+ doctrine has evolved, it's certainly attracting the over zealous types, in the same way as organised religion does, it promotes the same controlling mentality, the same keenness to prescribe, educate and reprimand. It's all very Sola Scriptura where the 'scriptura' is captured by rainbow flagged tweets 😂. If this was the 19th century, these same people would likely be missionaries looking to converting the unsuspecting.

@nananess I agree with you (and my gay son does, too - we've just been talking about this thread).

Isn’t it more because of the other thread that’s been linked where the op’s DP is actually really homophobic?

I know gay people who aren’t that into doing pride and are quite introverted, but they also acknowledge (their words) that they they are privileged enough to not need to worry about it and have a great life with supportive family, friends and work that normalise everything. Whereas actually it is (and should be) a big deal for a lot of people who don’t have this… and yes still in this country today, let alone the rest of the world.

So because your son is gay you should go to pride marches, never heard such rubbish, total emotional blackmail, personal choice etc.

No, I'm saying just because something is perceived as fun for kids doesn't mean there isn't harmful grooming of children going on.

Your son is 16years old and still a child. If attending a pride parade is the one thing that he is going to use to measure your support for him then that just reflects his immaturity.

I was responding to another poster, not the OP. Sorry if that wasn't clear!

That's interesting too. My son is far from introverted (he's a know-all Alpha male), but his experience - and that of his partner- is that being gay is no more newsworthy than being straight. That may partly be because XH and I would never have given him any reason to think that there was anything 'wrong' or 'different' about being gay (though I never delivered lectures on the validity of gay relationships to our DC any more than I did on the validity of straight relationships). It's probably also partly because we've always rather inhabited a bubble in which life is generally quite easy - so that might also have enabled him to grow up with the belief that everyone is open and tolerant and has no particular need to shout things from the rooftops.

This, I think, summarises very well where the son is probably coming from. Great post

And this too is a great post. It’s easy with a relatively liberal, middle class upbringing to have the confidence to to be whoever you want to be. Without that, it’s tough. Very tough for some people. Possibly for this poor lad with one homophobic, and being generous, one conflicted parent. Visibility is an important part for that section of the population to see that whatever they’re feeling is okay. Does that mean they’ll have an affinity with everything they see? Of course not…but, they will realise they’re not alone. And that matters.

I would explain to him that not wanting to go to Pride is nothing to do with the fact that it it to celebrate LGBT, and more because it is not really your thing, in the same way that a music festival/rally/other large scale event is not your thing, and that you prefer to show him support, and celebrate love means love and equality privately, in other ways.
Citing covid is a very poor move.